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Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Portraits of Forgiveness
Zengirl
♀ Member
Member # 42195
Default  Posted: 6:54 AM, April 5th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've been having a really really rough week. I haven't been able to shake the feeling that some of the things H did during his affair are just unforgivable. And that both of us would forever be tainted by his actions.

Then I ran across this NY Times article this morning, and it helped me snap out of it immediately. It's not about infidelity. It's about the Rwandan genocide. But both the perpetrators and the victims look strong and beautiful to me. It made me realize that both me and H can be strong and beautiful after this, too. We aren't forever tainted, and I need to let that fear go.

http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2014/04/06/magazine/06-pieter-hugo-rwanda-portraits.html?smid=fb-nytimes&WT.z_sma=MG_POR_20140404&bicmp=AD&bicmlukp=WT.mc_id&bicmst=1388552400000&bicmet=1420088400000&_r=3


Me (BW): 40
Married: 15 years
3 kids
D-Day: 10/13

Posts: 149 | Registered: Jan 2014
Lowlow
♀ Member
Member # 38653
Default  Posted: 7:10 AM, April 5th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Very powerful. Gives me something to think about. The article made the process sound easy (or at least downplayed it). It would be nice to see how the AMI did its work to bring these people together.


Me (BS) 42 Him (FWS) 43
AP#2 (LTA EA/PA) DD #1 16 Feb 2013
AP#1 (LTA EA with my BF) DD #2 16 Nov 2013
Married 11 years, T 19 years
Reconciling

Posts: 226 | Registered: Mar 2013
Neverwudaguessed
♀ Member
Member # 41884
Default  Posted: 7:29 AM, April 5th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have been struggling with the very same fears; that no matter what my husband does to make his and our lives better, I may never be able to forgive the betrayal. Both he and our MC say that it just may be possible that it will be too hard for me to get past but I should just take it one day at a time instead of looking so far forward.
Oh, but reading that article is so incredibly humbling; what those human beings had to endure is so unthinkable. Just to remain standing in the face of such atrocities is almost unfathomable. But to be able to stand next the perpetrators of the devastating acts and offer forgiveness is such an amazing testament to the strength and compassion of the human spirit. You have given me so much to contemplate today. Thank you very much….


BW: 44 Me
WH:48
DDay1 9-9-13 (18th Wedding Anniversary) 6 wk EA, 1 wk PA
DDay2: 10-25-13 EA/PA with same OW 12 1/2 years ago for 3 months
OW: XGF Predator who never stopped pursuing WH
DS 13
DD 11

Posts: 578 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: New York
eachdayisvictory
♀ Member
Member # 40462
Default  Posted: 7:55 AM, April 5th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

thank you for that link.

inspiring.

unbelievable.

humbling.


me, BW: 34
FWH: 35
Dday: Feb 2013
LTA for 2+years
children: 2 boys age 3 and 6
Reconciling

Posts: 379 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: nova Scotia, Canada
Topic Posts: 4

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