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Newest Member: ThomasD (45459)

Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: having a hard day
gemini8
New Member
Member # 42987
Default  Posted: 5:52 PM, April 5th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Having A Hard Time Today With Constantly Comparing Myself To The OW. I Walked In On Them So I Just Keep Picturing It . Then Asking What Did She Do Differently That Was So Great? Did He Learn Things From Her That He Used On Me? Was Sex Better With Her? WH Answers These QuestionsWith No And Absolutely Not. You Are Amazing. She's Nothing To Me. But Obviously He Is Going To Say That. I Just Wanted To Vent Here Instead of Being In My Own Head For A Little While.
On A Different Note WH Is Talking To Me ConstantLy. He Is AN Open Book. He Has Cried And Talked So Much About His Love For Me And How He Was Lost And Now He Sees Everything He Has Been Missing With Me ..I'm Almost Starting To Believe It..So There's That..

Posts: 3 | Registered: Apr 2014
Adeahan
♂ Member
Member # 43005
Default  Posted: 5:56 PM, April 5th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

it is hard right *hug* my wife is doing the same thing right now, she agrees to anything i sat her down last night and asked her to tell me everything that happened right from the start and look into my eyes while she did it, not the most fun things i had to hear, she cried and broke down and it was really hard, the question is, do we believe them? are they only sorry because they got caught? could it of kept going if we didnt catch them? questions we need to ask yourselves and work through it.


Me 33, H 31,D-Day 03/30/14, Together 12 years, married 2, 3 kids, 3 dogs, Working on R
"nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ainít about how hard you hit. Itís about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward"

Posts: 138 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: Ontario, Canada
kiki1
♀ Member
Member # 37184
Default  Posted: 6:02 PM, April 5th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

hugs gemini.

she wasnt better than yoou, she was just available. im sorry you had to see what you did. how awful! dont pay much mind to what he says right now. watch and see what he does. words mean nothing.
take care of yourself


Posts: 639 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: new york
standinghere
♂ Member
Member # 34689
Default  Posted: 8:06 PM, April 5th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We all go there, thinking that the other person was somehow something we are not.

The truth is, they are, they are two things that we are not. But it is not what we think about, it is what we don't understand.

The OM or OW is available to do what they did, and is willing to do it, that is it, nothing more.

Your spouse was the same and all that happened was that two of those people ran into each other, both who fit that bill of qualifications, and you have an affair.

It may be hard to understand, nearly impossible to believe, but that is all there is to it.


BH - Me - Late 30's (now late 40's)
WW - Her - Late 30's (now late 40's)
4 Children
Her - Love of my life...still is.
Reconciled - Partly...she can't get over it.
Her - Thunderstruck by what she did.

Posts: 1020 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: USA
freeatlast72
♀ Member
Member # 42758
Default  Posted: 9:37 PM, April 5th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Your spouse was the same and all that happened was that two of those people ran into each other, both who fit that bill of qualifications, and you have an affair.

This is so true. Please do not compare yourself to OW-- it is not even a comparison! She has no morals! Opportunity presented itself....


BS:41 (me)
WH: 41
Kids: DD6
DDay: 12/31/2013
Married 15 years
Separated as of 01/16/2014,now divorcing...WH did not want to reconcile.

You can't rationalize irrational behavior.


Posts: 135 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: North Carolina
Topic Posts: 5

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