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User Topic: Darned social anxiety
silverhopes
♀ Member
Member # 32753
Default  Posted: 7:56 PM, April 6th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That's all. Just saying it out loud.

Anyone else agree?


Find peace. Or sleep on it.

Infidelities are like icebergs - they may take many different shapes and sizes, but they all damage your ship.


Posts: 3902 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: California
woundedby2
♀ Member
Member # 18522
Default  Posted: 8:16 PM, April 6th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Silver)))

I understand.


Me: BS
2 kids: DD15 and DS18
Him: The Assclown NPD
OW: "friend" of 15 years
Divorced! Feb. 2010

Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson


Posts: 7803 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: SoCal
woundedby2
♀ Member
Member # 18522
Default  Posted: 8:16 PM, April 6th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Silver)))

I understand.


Me: BS
2 kids: DD15 and DS18
Him: The Assclown NPD
OW: "friend" of 15 years
Divorced! Feb. 2010

Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson


Posts: 7803 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: SoCal
misskirby
♀ Member
Member # 34594
Default  Posted: 8:43 PM, April 6th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Agree. Always hope to change it, haven't managed yet.


Me-BS, Late 20's
Him-WH, Late 20's
M 9 years, together 14
DS and DD
D-Day 1/16/12

"Long is the way And hard, that out of Hell leads up to Light" -John Milton, Paradise Lost


Posts: 211 | Registered: Jan 2012
authenticnow
♀ Moderator
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 9:13 PM, April 6th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((silverhopes)))


Take up your space (and do it well).

"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."


Posts: 37344 | Registered: Sep 2007
jo2love
♀ Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 9:40 PM, April 6th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Silver)))

I've been there, too. I'm sorry. It can get better in time. Sending you strength.

[This message edited by SI Staff at 9:40 PM, April 6th (Sunday)]


Posts: 34726 | Registered: Mar 2011
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 9:51 PM, April 6th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Silverhopes)))

You are lovely to hang out with.


It is better to be slapped with the truth than kissed with a lie. -Russian Proverb

Posts: 17066 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 9:55 PM, April 6th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Absolutely agree. ((((silver))))


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25051 | Registered: Aug 2011
silverhopes
♀ Member
Member # 32753
Default  Posted: 10:21 PM, April 6th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you my dear friends (((hugs to all of you)))


Find peace. Or sleep on it.

Infidelities are like icebergs - they may take many different shapes and sizes, but they all damage your ship.


Posts: 3902 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: California
wildbananas
♀ Member
Member # 10552
Default  Posted: 12:13 AM, April 7th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You really are. You and Baby Silver are wonderful!


Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan

Posts: 15383 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Now an AZ girl
Sad in AZ
♀ Member
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 8:48 AM, April 7th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

From one anxious person to another, I had a wonderful time with you and Silver Son

As an old person with social anxiety for many years, all I can say is one foot in front of the other, and keep going. It may not get easier, but it does get familiar--and that works quite often.

Big hugs


I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 20028 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
silverhopes
♀ Member
Member # 32753
Default  Posted: 11:10 PM, April 7th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((wildbananas and Sad in AZ)))


Find peace. Or sleep on it.

Infidelities are like icebergs - they may take many different shapes and sizes, but they all damage your ship.


Posts: 3902 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: California
silverhopes
♀ Member
Member # 32753
Default  Posted: 9:29 PM, May 10th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It came back.

It is bad to take a vow of silence? To just keep to yourself and see how long you can go without saying anything? To try to wear clothes that match the color of the wallpaper? Feeling like everything I say, regardless of its good intentions, makes me come across like an alien. Or stupid. I hope it's just the weather.


Find peace. Or sleep on it.

Infidelities are like icebergs - they may take many different shapes and sizes, but they all damage your ship.


Posts: 3902 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: California
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 8:17 AM, May 11th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((silver)))) I understand, hon. But anxiety tells you lies. Nothing about you is alien or stupid.

You are clever, kind, and beautiful.


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25051 | Registered: Aug 2011
jo2love
♀ Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 5:36 PM, May 11th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((silver)))

Posts: 34726 | Registered: Mar 2011
silverhopes
♀ Member
Member # 32753
Default  Posted: 5:51 PM, May 11th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you both.

I just figured out why today's hard. I'd forgotten. I thought I was going to look forward to Mother's Day - I look even more forward to it every year, because I think it's really a celebration of my son (that's how I feel about it). Today I remember why: Four years ago, the day before Mother's Day, was the day I told my father that I was going to have a baby, and that was the day he hung up on me and walked out of my life. The day before Mother's Day, and for the specific reason that I was going to become a mother. I'm realizing that today hurts worse than I realized, because of it. I'm counting my blessings, being thankful for my mother, being thankful for my son, and for the family and friends who I have left.

Just going to acknowledge how much it hurts that he left and hasn't come back. It hurts that the decision he pretty much presented me with was: choose between having my son and keeping him in my life. I chose my son, obviously… but in my heart, I meant to choose both. My father was the one who couldn't accept my choice and remain in my life, and that's so sad. Not only for him and me and our family, but most of all for Lil Silver. I would never choose differently though. Lil Silver means more to me than anyone. Life would be unbearable without him. So my father can remain away, if that's the choice I was asked to make.

I hope that over the years, I will be able to make this day even happier and augment to the joy I feel with Lil Silver, every single year, a celebration of our bond.


Find peace. Or sleep on it.

Infidelities are like icebergs - they may take many different shapes and sizes, but they all damage your ship.


Posts: 3902 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: California
silverhopes
♀ Member
Member # 32753
Default  Posted: 6:04 PM, May 11th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think I realized today that some part of me really wanted him to come back. The last time I saw him was this last summer, at my Nana's memorial service. He saw me, Mr Silver, and our son. He did not acknowledge a special bond. I hoped, I think, that some part of him would come back. The last time before that that I had seen him was more than three years earlier, about a month before he walked away. He only wrote me again a few weeks ago, after 8 months of ignoring my emails and Christmas card. It's really hitting me that he's gone and I did want him back. No matter how unhealthy that would be for us.

I hope I will be able to let go. It's an active process isn't it? Time to go find some resources on actively letting go of someone, day at a time.


Find peace. Or sleep on it.

Infidelities are like icebergs - they may take many different shapes and sizes, but they all damage your ship.


Posts: 3902 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: California
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 8:53 PM, May 11th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((silver)))))


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25051 | Registered: Aug 2011
MovingUpward
♂ Guide
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 9:04 PM, May 11th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((silver)))


AKA Moo

Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.


Posts: 51940 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation
Topic Posts: 19

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