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Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Mend a broken heart
justinpaintoday
♂ Member
Member # 42858
Default  Posted: 8:38 PM, April 6th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Half way through a book from the library entitled: how to Mend Your Broken Heart by Paul McKenna. Pretty interesting read. The premise so far centers alot around visualization. Imagine what ur life will be like when your not hurting anymore. Not being emotionally abused any more.

It slso offers tips on falling out of love. I will b gping to sleep focussing on positive visuslization. I have neen dwelling on my pain in the moment. Might b nice to start imaginjng a future when this shit storm is over.


I never realized you could be in this much pain and not be dying.

Posts: 700 | Registered: Mar 2014
LeftOutintheCold
♀ Member
Member # 42856
Default  Posted: 8:57 PM, April 6th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

There you go!! Visualization is an awesome technique and I use it often. While I obviously slide backwards a lot, I still believe it has helped me get to one month out from Dday with some shred of sanity still intact.

Good luck and, hopefully, sweet dreams! Prayers, my friend!


Me - 42
WH - 40
Dday - 3/6/14
Married 5yrs, together over 10
Status - still separated

Posts: 331 | Registered: Mar 2014
Leia
♀ Member
Member # 42510
Default  Posted: 9:31 PM, April 6th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Glad you found something that you can read and relate to. When I reset my phone after making STBXWH break me out of the family plan, the first thing I did was find myself a new list app and make myself a totally new "bucket list." It is very helpful to go back and read that list when I'm down. Just throwing that out there and maybe making yourself a new list will help too.


"Somebody get this walking carpet out of my way." Princess Leia, Star Wars

Posts: 296 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: Kansas
Red Sox Nation
♂ Member
Member # 26358
Default  Posted: 3:53 AM, April 7th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This may seem odd, so bear with me.

About two weeks in, I think, I had a dream. I was playing pool (billiards) with a group of people. Didn't know anyone there. I was chatting with a woman, and there was a little romantic banter. Nothing remarkable.

I remembered the dream because I woke up in the middle. And for about a minute, I felt like myself. I hadn't for two weeks. Then I remembered that the woman I loved was embroiled in an affair and we were seemingly headed for a divorce I couldn't prevent.

Just like that, a weight returned to my chest, and became my total focus - as it had since the moment I discovered the affair.

But that brief moment when I awoke... I remembered that feeling - the feeling without that weight on my chest. While I had no real interest in whatever mythical woman I dreamed up playing pool, it was that little reminder what life without that 2,000-pound rhinoceros sitting on me would feel like that kept me going at times.

It took a while, but the weight eventually left for real as healing continued, and it really doesn't come back.


When someone tells you who she is, listen; when someone shows you who she is, listen carefully.

Posts: 1869 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: Midwest
GotSoHosed
♂ New Member
Member # 42980
Default  Posted: 10:38 AM, April 7th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Red Sox, I know that weight. Mine after 3 months after D Day is just now subsiding and I am finally able to make the hard decision that I know I have to make.

Posts: 11 | Registered: Apr 2014
justasinger
♂ Member
Member # 43031
Default  Posted: 5:35 PM, April 7th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

15 months after D-day #2 for me and I still get that weight on my chest. I know the decision that I have to make (have made it twice then was talked out of it), I still feel ashamed and hurt and wronged. I will survive, because that is what I'm meant to do. I'm mostly ashamed that I've been talked out of my decision. But I never had SI before today...


BSO -me 38
WSO - her 30
2x DD ages 6 and 4
D-day #1 APR08 (supposed ONS w/OM)
D-day #2 1JAN13 2x ONS w/OM and OW, and a ONS
D-day #3 22APR14 (admitted to another ONS that she didn't fess up to during DDay #2)

Posts: 164 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: New England
justinpaintoday
♂ Member
Member # 42858
Default  Posted: 5:46 PM, April 7th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just: glad ur here. Look in the healing library. Were here fir you brother


I never realized you could be in this much pain and not be dying.

Posts: 700 | Registered: Mar 2014
Topic Posts: 7

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