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New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Healing Milestone
Weatherly
♀ Member
Member # 18222
Default  Posted: 8:58 AM, April 7th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The last night my ex and I lived together I came home, found him in bed sending naked pics to some woman. I tried to grab his phone, he pushed me down and strangled me until I blacked out. I called the police, he was arrested and that was the end of our marriage. If you asked him, even now, about it, he will admit it, shrug and say "she touched my phone."

Now, over the next few years, I did NOT touch people's phones. When my Aussie and I got together he'd ask me to hand him his phone and I'd refuse. I was not going to do it. I eventually explained why and he understood, and after awhile, I could do it. I could touch the phone, I could hand it to him. I could answer it and answer texts. Which I thought was pretty great.

Saturday Aussie, XH, and I were all at the boys' soccer games. DS8 wants indoor soccer shoes. Aussie said he'd buy them, but he wanted to know what the difference between indoor soccer shoes and regular gym shoes was. I didn't know. So, I turned to x, who knows a lot about soccer. I asked him. He grabbed his phone and explained, showed me some pics of the different shoes, told me what to look for. The shoes DS8 wanted were a pair XH pulled up so, without thinking I said "hey gimme your phone." and he handed it over, I took it and showed H the shoes.

It was about an hour later I realized...I wasn't scared of XH anymore.


Me-29,Two boys, 10 and 8

It will all be ok in the end. If it's not ok, it's not the end

Happily remarried to a wonderful man (Aussie). I think I found the right guy and the right finger this time.


Posts: 4475 | Registered: Feb 2008 | From: Indiana
ajsmom
♀ Member
Member # 17460
Default  Posted: 9:01 AM, April 7th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He should buy the shoes.

Just sayin'...


AJ's MOM


Fidelity isn't a feeling...it's a choice.

"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
____________________________________________
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
DS - 31 - Yikes!


Posts: 21032 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: Been Through Hell...On My Way Back
cmego
♀ Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 9:21 AM, April 7th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Although my ex was never violent with me, he was always…a bully. He pushes what he thinks is right and negated my thought and emotions. One therapist called him patronizing. Everything I said or thought was wrong.

So, we are finalizing our D (YEAH!!!!), and his L actually is in my city, while my L is in my marital city. So ex wanted me to go to HIS L's office to sign paperwork. I refused. My L wants to read everything I sign.

That started 20 minutes of him berating me about what I should do. I finally said, "It is MY decision. Stop bullying me."

He immediately went into defense mode, "But, but, but…I was only trying to SAVE YOU MONEY."

I and walked away. The old cmego would have argued with him. The new one knows he is just a big bully.

Yeah for growth!


me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced

"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings


Posts: 4036 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Virginia
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 9:40 AM, April 7th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yay for healing!


You can call me NIK

Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.
- Plato


Posts: 24437 | Registered: Aug 2011
Weatherly
♀ Member
Member # 18222
Default  Posted: 9:45 AM, April 7th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He should buy the shoes.
Just sayin'...

Yeah, well when you figure out how to make him do so let me know. He doesn't even pay child support and when I haul him back to court for nonpayment, he pays me $10 each week for 2-4 weeks, the judge tells him to do better, and tells me that the $10 shows he's trying. This has happened multiple times now.


Me-29,Two boys, 10 and 8

It will all be ok in the end. If it's not ok, it's not the end

Happily remarried to a wonderful man (Aussie). I think I found the right guy and the right finger this time.


Posts: 4475 | Registered: Feb 2008 | From: Indiana
inconnu
♀ Member
Member # 24518
Default  Posted: 8:07 PM, April 7th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I wasn't scared of XH anymore.

this is awesome!


Say what you wanna say and let the words fall out...honestly
I wanna see you be brave

Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than, less than perfect


Posts: 12124 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: TX
Williesmom
♀ Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 8:28 PM, April 7th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yay for growth.

Your wxh is such an asshole.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7435 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
Topic Posts: 7

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