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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: It is done
Dobegirl
♀ Member
Member # 41837
Default  Posted: 12:46 PM, April 7th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Today I finally got the courage to file for D. We are doing this without lawyers. It took less than 30 minutes to file and 17 months to get to finally accept my marriage will never be the same.

I have printed the papers out about as much as I have kicked him out and taken him back. It has been a long rollercoaster ride and I want off! He still thinks we can work this out. Ummmm... no!

The man I love is dead. I have never looked at him the same since Dday. Gosh knows I tried. He stole the innocence out of this marriage. And it is something we will never get back. He has changed me. I have come to terms with all of this finally.

If all goes well it will be final in 2ish months.

Now to go drown my sorrows for the night in a bottle of wine....or two


Me- BS 44 Always faithfull
Him- WS 44
2 mo. EA/PA with 25 yr. old slut that stroked his ego, online profiles, CL ads
Married 8 years-No kids together
DDay-11/21/12
False R many different times fromJan/13 till Dec/13
Divorcing

Posts: 151 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: Northern Indiana
Vulcanized
♀ Member
Member # 33523
Default  Posted: 1:03 PM, April 7th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Dobe)))


Me: MH 40s; Him: MH 40s (I had RA)
OW: 30s, moron; one of many
M: 8 yrs
3/13: D'd
-----------------------------------------------------------
Everything is as it should be.

Posts: 762 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Vulcania
strongerdaybyday
♀ Member
Member # 40264
Default  Posted: 1:12 PM, April 7th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Dobegirl)))

I understand completely because this:

The man I love is dead. I have never looked at him the same since Dday. Gosh knows I tried. He stole the innocence out of this marriage. And it is something we will never get back. He has changed me

is how I feel.


Me-BW Him - WH
Married 6 years, together 13+ years
D-Day Summer 2013
children-3
If it is what it is then what is it?

**If I edit I'm correcting a typo!**


Posts: 384 | Registered: Aug 2013
woundedby2
♀ Member
Member # 18522
Default  Posted: 6:46 PM, April 7th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Dobe)))

You gave it your best, but a marriage cannot be reconciled with just one actively participating in R.

Wishing you all the best.


Me: BS
2 kids: DD15 and DS18
Him: The Assclown NPD
OW: "friend" of 15 years
Divorced! Feb. 2010

Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson


Posts: 7824 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: SoCal
gypsybird87
♀ Member
Member # 39193
Default  Posted: 6:49 PM, April 7th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((dobegirl))

Good for you for taking back control of your life. It's painful and it's hard, but it's worth it.

Cheers, and enjoy that glass of wine!


Me: Enjoying life
Him: Someone else's problem

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage. ~ Anais Nin


Posts: 912 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Oregon
Dobegirl
♀ Member
Member # 41837
Default  Posted: 7:30 PM, April 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you everyone

Had myself a good cry last night. Never thought we would be D.

I did give it my best shot, although, according to him, he says I never tried or gave him a chance. Whatever! If that was the case I would have filed a long time ago.

Yes gypsyb it is time to take back my life. I've straddled this fence for to long now. I can't believe it's been 17 months this nightmare has gone on.

I think the fact that I took him back after a 3 month separation and he showed his ugliness to me in 3 days showed me it just wasn't going to work. Plus the fact he immediately ran down to the bar where his A started really showed me. He admitted he did that to piss me off. Yup! It sure did!

So far all is quiet. We are still living together. He is being extremely nice knowing I have filed. Although he has not been officially served. Hope it stays that way....


Me- BS 44 Always faithfull
Him- WS 44
2 mo. EA/PA with 25 yr. old slut that stroked his ego, online profiles, CL ads
Married 8 years-No kids together
DDay-11/21/12
False R many different times fromJan/13 till Dec/13
Divorcing

Posts: 151 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: Northern Indiana
Tripletrouble
♀ Member
Member # 39169
Default  Posted: 8:46 PM, April 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((dobe)). Sleep in peace knowing you did all you could. Two months of white knuckles and you're done.


40 somethings - me BW after 20 years
D Day April 2013
Divorced November 2013

Be happy with what you have while you work for what you want - Hellen Keller


Posts: 638 | Registered: May 2013
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 8:50 PM, April 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((Dobe))))


You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana


Posts: 25710 | Registered: Aug 2011
Topic Posts: 8

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