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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: when can I sell his shit
frenchmoxie
♀ Member
Member # 42665
Default  Posted: 10:09 AM, April 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So... the piece of shit still has some random things at the house (books). He hasn't said anything at all about picking them up, and of course I'm not offering to help the jackass. How long should I wait before I sell of his crap? Or should I have done it yesterday? We split Feb. 22.
Are there any legal things that could come up with this?

FYI We were NOT MARRIED, together for 8 years but do not live in a state that recognizes common law marriage.


D-Day: 2/22/14, together for 8 years
Me: BS, 29, living w/chronic Lyme disease
Him: WS, 29, OW was an ex-coworker

I found e-mails between them.


Posts: 62 | Registered: Mar 2014
BAB61
♀ Member
Member # 41181
Default  Posted: 10:27 AM, April 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Now! If he wanted it he should have gotten it already!


Boss A** B*tch
BS/52 Me, STBXpos/56, dd's 16&14
1st D-day 10/19/2013 EA/PA
2nd D-day 12/7/2013 LTA/Rendezvous
S 12/7/2013 No-fault state, 6 mo S, counting down the days.

Posts: 1271 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: DE
strongerdaybyday
♀ Member
Member # 40264
Default  Posted: 10:35 AM, April 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I love the title of this post

I read somewhere keep it a minimum of 30 days and then you can toss it.

I'm not a lawyer so I can't be 100% on that; but if he's left it since Feb 22 why in the world should you have to hang on to it?


Me-BW Him - WH
Married 6 years, together 13+ years
D-Day Summer 2013
children-3
If it is what it is then what is it?

**If I edit I'm correcting a typo!**


Posts: 380 | Registered: Aug 2013
Gemini71
♀ Member
Member # 40115
Default  Posted: 10:46 AM, April 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Google how long it has to be in your state until it's considered 'abandoned property', then sell it. Take yourself out to a nice dinner with the proceeds.


Edited to correct stupid typos.

Two steps forward and one step backwards, is still progress.


Posts: 1560 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Illinois, USA
StillLivin
♀ Member
Member # 40229
Default  Posted: 2:18 PM, April 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm dealing with the same thing. We are married and own the house together, though. So, unfortunately for me there is a waiting period, and I can't just dump his shit in the yard....would LOVE to do that!
Gemini nailed it. Find out what the law is.
Don't even notify him what the law is. He hasn't asked, so don't give answers needlessly.
Whenever the waiting period is over, if there is one, then donate or toss it.


I don't need further confirmation of what a fuckwit he is. I already have plenty, thanks very much. -SBB
D: 7/2/2014

Posts: 2181 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: AZ
devistatedmom
♀ Member
Member # 24961
Default  Posted: 2:34 PM, April 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would send him an email saying he has until April 15th to remove any of his belongings from your house. After that date, you will dispose of them as you see fit and he will have no claim on them. That's what I did with my XH. It covers your butt that you informed him they were about to disappear from him trying to get them, or cash, for them later.


BS(me) 46, Two wonderful teens.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.

WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.


Posts: 5376 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Canada
frenchmoxie
♀ Member
Member # 42665
Default  Posted: 5:35 PM, April 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Devistatedmum,
When you wrote the letter, did he come get his shit? If it isn't already obvious, I want to punish him. I don't care to deal with this nicely. I am in the process of waiting for disability court date, I am unable to work and have no income or assets. If he decided to take me to small claims court, there wouldn't be anything that they could do to get the money from me if it just isn't there. Does that make sense? I'm broke and he knows this. I looked on Google for dormancy periods for abandoned property and can't seem to find anything.


D-Day: 2/22/14, together for 8 years
Me: BS, 29, living w/chronic Lyme disease
Him: WS, 29, OW was an ex-coworker

I found e-mails between them.


Posts: 62 | Registered: Mar 2014
GabyBaby
♀ Member
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 5:46 PM, April 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would send him an email saying he has until April 15th to remove any of his belongings from your house. After that date, you will dispose of them as you see fit and he will have no claim on them.
This.
I emailed my (then) STBXH about his belongings months after he moved out. He told me in two seperate emails that I could burn the stuff for all he cared, so I got rid of the junk (sold some, gave some away, but threw most away).
He asked me more than 2 years after he moved out for specific items. My only reply to him was to forward his former emails telling me to burn his stuff.
He never asked again.

[This message edited by GabyBaby at 5:48 PM, April 8th (Tuesday)]


Me - 40s
SorryInSac - WH#2 - 40s. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4yrs, together 7yrs total

DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
5 Furkids (3 Dogs, 2 Cats)

WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW)
Legally married 18yrs, together 16.5yrs

Note: I edit often for clarity/typos.


Posts: 6112 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 5:55 PM, April 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Pick a date that is convenient for you. Email him - make sure you're using a current email address, tell him that he has until that particular date (make sure it's two weeks past date you send the email) to get his stuff.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9319 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
GabyBaby
♀ Member
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 6:01 PM, April 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You could even take it a step further to cover your butt:

Dear Asswipe,
You moved out on X Date and left personal belongings in my home. It is now Y date.
You have until Z date to come get them or I will consider it abandoned property and will dispose of it as I see fit.

Burn in Hell,
Frenchie


Me - 40s
SorryInSac - WH#2 - 40s. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4yrs, together 7yrs total

DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
5 Furkids (3 Dogs, 2 Cats)

WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW)
Legally married 18yrs, together 16.5yrs

Note: I edit often for clarity/typos.


Posts: 6112 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California
Mousse242
♀ Member
Member # 6330
Default  Posted: 8:48 PM, April 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Pick a date that is convenient for you. Email him - make sure you're using a current email address, tell him that he has until that particular date (make sure it's two weeks past date you send the email) to get his stuff.

Make sure you have a read receipt or something like that on it. If you use Outlook you'll have that function. I don't know with gmail, yahoo or any of those though.


Posts: 5473 | Registered: Jan 2005 | From: Chicago
RedWheelBarrow
♀ Member
Member # 38966
Default  Posted: 3:00 AM, April 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think if he left them there, they are yours to sell or burn or pee on.


Me: BW 50
Him:Rockstar late 50's
DS: 10 , so precious.
Married 14 years, together 17 years
DDay #1 Nov.2012, plus more, more, more!
OW : 25 years younger than him, left her BH for my prize beast.
He moved in with her April,2013.
D Filed 4/

Posts: 98 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: NW
frenchmoxie
♀ Member
Member # 42665
Default  Posted: 2:17 PM, April 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I found some info on abandoned property laws. I'm seeing 30 days? But, as many of you have said here, I need to send him a notice, in writing, that he needs to come get his shit. Thanks all.


D-Day: 2/22/14, together for 8 years
Me: BS, 29, living w/chronic Lyme disease
Him: WS, 29, OW was an ex-coworker

I found e-mails between them.


Posts: 62 | Registered: Mar 2014
absolut
♀ Member
Member # 37933
Default  Posted: 3:05 PM, April 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh just do it.

just post that shit on ebay. A bunch of books and stuff? Really?

He's been gone for two months already. Your home is not a storage unit.

Wanna hear a cool story about *someone I know*

She sold online an heirloom family quilt from her hated former MIL. Handmade, Gorgeous.
Also several items were thrown in the dumpster, including his baby pictures and his medals from his time in the service. I seriously dgaf.

I am not going to email or phone somebody to come get their own stuff, I do not play pattycake with grown men. If you don't care about your own personal property why should I?

He never did call me about all that. I always wondered if he just left it here as some kind of game.

F&*k what the law says, especially when the cost of filing small claims is $35. Do you really think he's going to do that over books? Is it fair to you to have to look at this junk every day? He should have gotten it within, TOPS, a week after moving out. Common sense dictates this is just ridiculous. At this point even if he called I think you should just not answer. Or if he does, just tell him you donated all those books to the library a month ago when you were spring cleaning.


Posts: 421 | Registered: Dec 2012
frenchmoxie
♀ Member
Member # 42665
Default  Posted: 4:50 PM, April 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Absolut,

Haha I love the attitude in your post. However, he has a ton of textbooks here from graduate school, and some of them I might be able to get some decent money for. in addition, he left his expensive computer ($1,300), but he also purchased a few years ago so I could use it for my graphic design/web design classes. So I'm thinking that it was a GIFT to me, which means I should be keeping it, right? : )

I've been on a legal message board as well trying to get advice on how to deal with the whole expensive computer issue. Any thoughts or advice would be appreciated, just PM me!


D-Day: 2/22/14, together for 8 years
Me: BS, 29, living w/chronic Lyme disease
Him: WS, 29, OW was an ex-coworker

I found e-mails between them.


Posts: 62 | Registered: Mar 2014
absolut
♀ Member
Member # 37933
Default  Posted: 10:30 PM, April 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

frenchmoxie

How long has it been since he moved out?

Have you been in contact with him at all?


Posts: 421 | Registered: Dec 2012
frenchmoxie
♀ Member
Member # 42665
Default  Posted: 10:38 PM, April 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

absolut,
He moved out Feb. 22, yes I have seen him in person once, and spoken with him on the phone once. Why do you ask about contact?


D-Day: 2/22/14, together for 8 years
Me: BS, 29, living w/chronic Lyme disease
Him: WS, 29, OW was an ex-coworker

I found e-mails between them.


Posts: 62 | Registered: Mar 2014
absolut
♀ Member
Member # 37933
Default  Posted: 10:47 PM, April 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Because if he isn't going in and out of your home it's abandoned.

Under 10k is small claims. And there is no criminal law here, he would have to file civil. Because there's no breaking and entering etc. You didn't "take" anything.

Really as much talk on here as there is about a "wayward" mindset I think there is a "betrayed" mindset. We care way too much about what somebody might do or say or what might happen.

Do you really think he is going to do anything? Block his number. Sell his stuff. I would get on top of those textbooks, they come out with new editions all the time, making the old ones worthless.Get your $$$ honey.

edit: you can use that computer for your graphic design business??? Oh. honey. Is this even a question?
You've had the locks changed right?

[This message edited by absolut at 10:49 PM, April 9th (Wednesday)]


Posts: 421 | Registered: Dec 2012
Bigger
♂ Member
Member # 8354
Default  Posted: 5:35 AM, April 10th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Itís too soon.
Since you two had a long-term relationship where you lived together then Iím assuming that any court would see wherever he left his stuff as his residence (even if itís your fatherís house). There is a difference between being the owner or the name on the mortgage or lease and residence and residence does provide you with legal rights.
I would guess that until you have confirmation of him having a permanent new residence you wait a minimum of 90 days starting from the 1st March.

About the computer? WellÖ Just use it. If he asks for it then stall or make it conditional to him removing all of his stuff.


"If, therefore, any be unhappy, let him remember that he is unhappy by reason of himself alone." Epictetus

Posts: 5488 | Registered: Sep 2005
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 8:00 AM, April 10th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You did change the locks right?
I wouldn't want him to come waltzing back in when he gets the note to come get his shit.


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 7843 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
Topic Posts: 21
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