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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: delusionally thought we could be amicable
AlwaysTooNice
♀ Member
Member # 41701
Default  Posted: 10:11 PM, April 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That is until stbxWH dropped our son off tonight and decided to let me know that he's been seeing several women since 5 days after DDay (all while falsely trying to R with me). I am no NC except through text or email.

What a slap in the face! I'm a mess rightnow. Why didn't I take y'all's advice about NC from the very beginning?!


Me: 25 SAHM Him: 27
DDay 1: Sept 2009 - rugswept
Married: Oct 2010
DDay 2: Nov 2013 - confronted 3 weeks later & separated
False R. Filed for D Mar 2014

Posts: 66 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: SE USA
nekorb
♀ Member
Member # 40306
Default  Posted: 10:51 PM, April 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Hugs)))

I'm sorry. He's just being mean. Chalk it up to one of those lessons that was learned the hard way.

NC is the road to healing.


Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 aka CAT- colossal asshat; Married 22 years
D-day: July 17, 2013, with TT to follow
D filed July 16, 2014, 363 days later than I should have
Psalms 27:14
Wait for The Lord; be strong and take heart. Wait for the Lord.

Posts: 1838 | Registered: Aug 2013
HurtsButImOK
♀ Member
Member # 38865
Default  Posted: 10:52 PM, April 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Hugs)))

Its so easy to say NC but we have all BTDT. Sometimes it takes that final slap in the face with your own situation for understanding and the benefits of NC to stick.

When you reach your 'giveafuck' is broken, you will know.

(((Hugs))) again cause this shit is painful. You deserve the best, and better than to be someone else's plan B.


Me: Awesome - 35

"I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel". –Maya Angelou

"When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be". –


Posts: 740 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Australia
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 10:59 PM, April 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Do not expect in S/D what you didn't get in your M.

His need to attack is very very common - they all do it once they realise we're closing the bakery and that they've lost control of us.

You won't see it now but soon you'll see this shit as a gift - it will help you detach well before you would if he kept up his pretty words whilst continuing his ugly actions. That there is a mindfuck - this stuff is patently cruel so easy to see through.

((AlwaysTooNice)) but I know right now it hurts.

The sad clown took great joy in telling me he was ready to introduce his 17 years junior at 24 office gopher to my then almost 5 and 2 years olds as his GF a mere 20 weeks after S. She wasn't even DD OW so it was another post S DD. This after a 3m False R of "I'll do whatever it takes for as long as it takes" all the while behind those pretty words were some very ugly actions.

[This message edited by SBB at 11:20 PM, April 8th (Tuesday)]


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5576 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
norabird
♀ Member
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 11:30 PM, April 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

UGH what a jerk to throw this in your face. And how GROSS. They truly don't understand that what they're bragging about looks to any sane person like incredibly unhealthy and pathological behavior!!!


Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4190 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
AlwaysTooNice
♀ Member
Member # 41701
Default  Posted: 7:17 AM, April 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you so much for your responses. Last night was so, so painful. I cried for hours. But it was such a blessing to me. I was stupid and read the R forum earlier this week and was starting to get all hopey. That's probably why those words hurt so badly last night. But I guess that's what you guys call a 2x4. It smacked me hard, shook loose all my crazy hopes and wishes. Now I can focus again.

I did shoot my L a quick email about the situation, asking how I can protect my little one from his dad's parade of Craigslist hookups. I doubt there's anything I can do.


Me: 25 SAHM Him: 27
DDay 1: Sept 2009 - rugswept
Married: Oct 2010
DDay 2: Nov 2013 - confronted 3 weeks later & separated
False R. Filed for D Mar 2014

Posts: 66 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: SE USA
Topic Posts: 6

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