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Newest Member: conflictedcolleg (44943)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Other woman is officially separated
IslandGirl18
♀ Member
Member # 36781
Default  Posted: 10:13 PM, April 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I knew it was coming. It still made me sick though. My XWH was in false R with me and we are now divorced. It was official in January. Her custody and separation agreement was filed less than three weeks ago. So now they can be together in public. They can be a couple. He can bring her to his family and she can bring him to hers. They can be a new family together. I cannot get over how long this pain is lasting for me. This loss and emptiness. It's so vast. I really thought he loved me. There are pictures of her all over the internet. She's the president of a community organization, she wins awards, she has the appearance of a well-respected person. But people don't know what I know. She lied to everyone she knew and she was part of destroying me. And my XWH allowed that.

They made all these decisions and I am the one who is suffering.

It's so unfair.

Their work knows. No one cared. Didn't matter.

I don't think I will ever get married again. I know I will never trust again. And I know I will never allow myself to love like that again..


me: BS
him: WS

D Day: July 27, 2012
Day of first suspicion: 6/7/11
DD#2: November 2, 2012

Divorced


Posts: 103 | Registered: Sep 2012
Rainbows
♀ Member
Member # 39362
Default  Posted: 11:45 PM, April 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Islandgirl)))

I'm so sorry, I know the sting and it blows.

Just take it one day at a time and if that's too much, one hour at a time until it becomes bearable. It's ok to feel and grieve.

The thing I've learned is that no one can hide behind a facade for too long.

She may seem like a Debbie do-gooder to everyone now, but as soon as they start flaunting it, the truth will come out.

Eta: I'm sure more people pass negative judgements on them than you realize. I can't begin to tell you how often I've seen OW become a scapegoat and fodder for the gossip mill at work (I'm a corporate type).

Just because you aren't hearing about it doesn't mean it isn't happening. I mentioned in a post earlier I've noticed a lot of slut shaming of known OW in the office. It's always the first thing you hear about someone. It's just not acceptable to most people even if they don't freely express their opinions.

[This message edited by Rainbows at 11:54 PM, April 8th (Tuesday)]


There is always a rainbow after every storm.

Posts: 401 | Registered: May 2013 | From: California
h0peless
♂ Member
Member # 36697
Default  Posted: 11:48 PM, April 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Look at the big picture. Think of the smug satisfaction you'll feel when one of them cheats on the other one. That'll be a belly laugh!

Posts: 1679 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Baja Arizona
Caretaker1
♂ Member
Member # 42777
Default  Posted: 11:53 PM, April 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How about AP that one is not divorced and they are in public, blending families, and getting engaged. It's all so hurtful. Smug?

Focus on you. If no kids, maybe you can move and rebuild or find some space between you and the happy couple.

[This message edited by Caretaker1 at 11:59 PM, April 8th (Tuesday)]


Posts: 234 | Registered: Mar 2014
RedWheelBarrow
♀ Member
Member # 38966
Default  Posted: 2:34 AM, April 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am sorry. I am in a similar boat. OW is quite "professional" and child-free and carefree and smile-y all over the internet with her fancy job and around all the most gorgeous people, etc. Oh, so respectable! They are counting the days that they can be *even more public* with their luurve.
I should get stronger and stop looking/caring. But it's hard to do.

((hugs))


Me: BW 50
Him:Rockstar late 50's
DS: 10 , so precious.
Married 14 years, together 17 years
DDay #1 Nov.2012, plus more, more, more!
OW : 25 years younger than him, left her BH for my prize beast.
He moved in with her April,2013.
Divorced!

Posts: 111 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: NW
Topic Posts: 5

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