How do you handle trying to be a friendly co-parent and keeping your lives separate still?
He also brought up DS5's upcoming birthday. I ignored this.... but he mentioned possibly switching visitation days, going into detail about some benefit concert he was invited to on his evening that happened to be the day after DS's b'day, blah blah... and would I like to switch. He says "I'm not sure what WE'RE doing for his b'day, but if you want to work something out that week...". um...I have made it clear that I will not be around OW. He wants to bring her around them, whatever... but she will never be welcome to my events and I won't do shared parties, etc...now, only to confuse them later when I refuse to have her here! Why does he think we are doing a joint b'day thing?! I wasn't about to get into it in front of DS8 so just ignored the comment, but hell! I am planning a party for the weekend after DS's b'day when I have the kids and I know he will hear about it and say something - get his damn feelings hurt because you know, since he has no boundaries he shares too much and then immediately acts like we are friends again.
Ugh...i guess I just wonder how I keep these boundaries well when I have to have some contact..its so hard! But it would be different if he was remorseful at all and moving on with someone healthy in his life. I would welcome them and try for my kids. OW, never! Sorry!
You may need to just be blunt. "We are not friends. Make your own plans."
Or if you want to be nicer about it, "You should go ahead and make your own plans. I probably won't make OUR plans until the last minute."
Two steps forward and one step backwards, is still progress.
"We are not friends. Make your own plans."
I like this.