Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: adamsr (45456)

Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Found Out the WH Has Secret Storage Unit
needadvise
♀ Member
Member # 43218
Default  Posted: 7:36 AM, May 21st (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So I read some of your post.
I'm a little bothered by the whole living for god thing while still doing wrong. (I know this because My WH had done the same)
If your WH is claiming this here is just a few verses for him to look into. (I know because I have read them over and over?
*proverbs 19:15
Gen 12:3
Judges 16:15
2 Tim 2:15
*Jeremiah 3:1 thru 25 & 12:6
Lev 20:10
Hebrews 13:4
Luke 16:8

I can tell you if he is that serious he needs to read & learn these.
My faith had faded I won't lie is hard for me to live for god and go through a horrible marriage. I guess because I'm afraid god is going to want me too forgive him when I know i can't.
I will tell you that for the last year. God had revealed to me the truth about my husband little by little as much as I could handle. If not for him I would have never known.
I'm not trying to preach, however when I see someone using the Lord as a way to hide the truth it really bothers me. Because My WH has already tried this with me.
These versus will help you too.


BS: 48 Me
WH: 46 him
DD 17 Ours
DS 23 Mine

DDAY 4/17/2013 my father's anniversary death date.
2013 to present: TT big time
1 PA/EA
9 more women PAs all of our 17 years of marriage. Never had a clue until TT in the last year. Showe


Posts: 112 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: Pennsylvania
DyingInside21
♀ Member
Member # 42860
Default  Posted: 2:30 AM, May 27th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi,

So much has gone on unrelated to A this past month that I am still spinning.

To answer the couple of questions posed recently. My mom has seen the storage units contents. She doesn't know about the A, and I am keeping her in the dark until I know what I am going to do for sure about my Marriage.
She loves antiques and would have loved to take a look so I let it "slip" that WH had the unit. She has "shopped" its contents and it seems to match what he said was inside.
The unit and its contents kinda took a back seat to all of the other stuff that has come up lately. I cant even believe that so much time has passed.
Once it was confirmed that what was inside was his friends stuff, it wasn't what was inside that was a concern it was that he didn't tell me about it. We are dealing with a store that will place the contents on consignment.

NeedAdvise: His take on things is he had turned his back on god for too long and he feels he needs god back in his life in order to help him become the man he SHOULD have been all along.
Im a firm believer in being good for goodness sake. I support his need/desire to get right with god, but in my opinion, his going to church wont make him a better person, being a better person will make him a better person and I have told him just that.
He is going every Sunday and on a Wed. night mens group, which he says is helping him understand how to be a better husband. We will see...

-----

He is still in therapy and so am I. His work schedule has slowed the frequency of his sessions, which has slowed (in my opinion) his progress in communication. I did express to the Therapist that I feel as if we needed to push for MC sooner rather than later because I couldn't take the slow, painful process of waiting for his issues to be worked on first. She realizes that I am on the verge of making a permanent decision before we have tried to work things out professionally together.

My problem is he thinks what he is doing is enough and I don't think its enough. I still go day by day with different feelings and decisions. Im still not emotionally stable and I cant wait any longer to deal with our issues. She has agreed to start MC now so that things can progress faster and as long as he is on his meds, she feels comfortable that he can handle it.

I really need to start a new thread based on the topic of my recent issues.
In a nutshell, my MIL is an evil, manipulative, bitch and has been sabotaging my marriage and my life in ways I didn't even realize.

New Topic to come...


BS (me) - 39 yo
WH - 45 yo
Together 16 years
Married 5 years
DS 9 yo; DS 7 yo
D-Day 3/20/14
EA: 5 years turned into PA: 2 years with OW.
WH - In IC
BS - In IC; Pursuing MC

Posts: 71 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: So California
william
Member
Member # 41986
Default  Posted: 3:04 AM, May 27th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

im really happy that the storage locker didnt result in another D-Day for you. that was my darkest fear.

many seem to equate going to church = being a good person. i dont think the two are all that related. i agree with you, being a better person makes one a better person. i dont think anyone automatically better because they go to church but i suppose its a support network and those can be invaluable if formed and used properly.

that seems to be good news that the therapist is willing and able to work with you.
i also have a very hard time with the glacial pace in regards to dealing with the issues in my own marriage (we are still assembling the time line ONE YEAR out from d-day 1 and 4 MONTHS out from d-day 2 and im starting to get pretty angry at how long its taking to get all the truth out and pretty much everything else has taken a back seat to this).
i can well appreciate your deciding that its time to stop dithering and to get down to work.

MIL - i get that too. my wife's family are all crap and have sabotaging my wife, me, and my family from day 1.


me - bh
her - lara01

from 09/11 - 05/13
2 ONS, 10 sexting partners, 1 LT EA/PA

??/06/13 DD/1 - admits to LT EA, begin false R.
01/13/14 DD/2 - LTA was PA.
01/18/14 DD/3 - sexting 5 guys.
01/19/14 DD/4 - 2 ONS with different guys


Posts: 555 | Registered: Jan 2014
ShiningAutumn8
Member
Member # 42558
Default  Posted: 10:20 AM, May 27th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

well my immediate concern would be all the time at church --- but Im suspicious like that because many cheater rarely change their colors.
Sorry I just don't buy that people really change period, and certainly not from going to church.

This whole time, you always come second to what he needs. He has wronged you. In reconcilliation, you should be put FIRST.

My problem is he thinks what he is doing is enough and I don't think its enough.

Your opinion is the only one that matters here! Who is he to decide if he's "doing enough" in terms of your healing.


Posts: 486 | Registered: Feb 2014
DyingInside21
♀ Member
Member # 42860
Default  Posted: 2:18 PM, May 27th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

William: Im sorry you are having to deal with the painfully slow healing too. Im an impatient person by nature, but this is too slow going for me. I just left a message with the therapist urging her to schedule our first couples therapy session ASAP. She also agrees that things aren't moving fast enough, even though she knows long term, things take time.
She always seems to be on my side and seems to be my only advocate in this (outside of my best friend, who is the only other person who knows about this).

He really has to let go of his destructive mother and she needs to quit taking up space in his head so that we can get to the business of trying to heal our marriage.

ShiningAutumn8: He actually didn't say HE thinks he was doing enough. It's just my interpretation of his behavior. He really is clueless about how and what to do.
I want faster results, which may not be realistic or fair, but I want it and I want it now. I may be setting myself up for disappointment, but I cant help it. I want to stop hurting sooner rather than later.


BS (me) - 39 yo
WH - 45 yo
Together 16 years
Married 5 years
DS 9 yo; DS 7 yo
D-Day 3/20/14
EA: 5 years turned into PA: 2 years with OW.
WH - In IC
BS - In IC; Pursuing MC

Posts: 71 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: So California
SpecialK
♀ Member
Member # 42372
Default  Posted: 10:41 PM, May 27th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Dying, I hope your husband wakes up and sees what a treasure he has in you. You seem very compassionate and patient. I hope he becomes the man you deserve, but if he doesn't it will be his loss.

Good luck


Posts: 335 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: Florida
RiseAbove22
♂ Member
Member # 43325
Default  Posted: 12:14 AM, May 28th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

my ex girlfriend (i spent 14 years with) had a storage locker as well and i still don't know what was in it,she claims it was for office furniture after losing a job. a job where she screwed a co worker.
Her reply to me asking about the locker was "I'm not hiding anything from you baby" .such bullshit
i would recommend looking in it but don't break in,its illegal...

Posts: 112 | Registered: May 2014
DyingInside21
♀ Member
Member # 42860
Default  Posted: 12:14 AM, May 28th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you, SpecialK.
I hope he does too. But if he doesn't, I am prepared to walk away.


BS (me) - 39 yo
WH - 45 yo
Together 16 years
Married 5 years
DS 9 yo; DS 7 yo
D-Day 3/20/14
EA: 5 years turned into PA: 2 years with OW.
WH - In IC
BS - In IC; Pursuing MC

Posts: 71 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: So California
Topic Posts: 168
Pages: 1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9

Return to Forum: Just Found Out Post Reply to this Topic
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.