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New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: House advice, please?
Williesmom
♀ Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 7:53 PM, April 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Here's my current situation: I live in a house that my WXH and my family built. It's a high maintenance log home, in the middle of a huge field. I spend a lot of time maintaining the home and cutting grass in the summer. It has a long driveway that is frequently not passable in the winter.

It's a really nice little house, and I have a lot of equity built up in it. But, it reeks of my WXH. Just reminds me of him.

So, I founds a house that is 3.5 miles from work. I'm currently 35 miles away. It is a 150 year old Victorian that needs a ton of work. It has 6 acres in the middle of a local city. It would have city water and sewage- I currently have neither.
This house is so cool- it oozes character.

If I were to purchase it, I have enough equity to do the renovations AND be mortgage free. However, it is huge. Way more house than I need. There is enough room for a fenced in yard (gotta be concerned about the corgis!)

I am handy, as is my family. I could totally do this, have a gorgeous one of a kind house, and live in a town that is away from WXH and his drama. I have a ton of friends in that town also, and I have committed to this job for at least 5 more years.

Am I totally crazy? What am I missing here?


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7772 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
phmh
♀ Member
Member # 34146
Default  Posted: 7:57 PM, April 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Do it!!! I have a 120 year old Victorian and it is so amazing. Every single day I feel so lucky to have this house.

I am also 3 miles from work. Dropping your commute will add almost 5 hours per week to your life. That's 250 hours per year!

Mine is way more house than I need as well. Who cares? Yes! Yes! Yes!!!!!


Me: BW, divorced, now fabulous and happy!

Married: 11 years, no kids

Character is destiny


Posts: 3409 | Registered: Dec 2011
Sad in AZ
♀ Member
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 8:04 PM, April 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OMG. I'm so envious It sounds like a win-win.


I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 20292 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
sheila0304
Member
Member # 25041
Default  Posted: 8:07 PM, April 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think it sounds great. Look before you leap...get a very thorough inspection.

Posts: 1175 | Registered: Aug 2009
Williesmom
♀ Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 8:34 PM, April 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Scary to contemplate. But it would be so nice to start fresh and have a project.

Since I've cut back on datin, my mind has been wandering- I'm bored.....


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7772 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
Chrysalis123
♀ Member
Member # 27148
Default  Posted: 8:40 PM, April 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

GO.FOR.IT!!!!!!


Don’t get to the end of your life and find that you lived only the length of it; live the width of it as well. 

Posts: 2713 | Registered: Jan 2010
persevere
♀ Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 8:51 PM, April 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WM, it sounds perfect for you in every way.


Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4614 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
risingfromashes
♀ Member
Member # 3903
Default  Posted: 8:56 PM, April 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Big enough to have a roommate to help with a little income? Just an idea.
I recently sold my big marital home and moved into an 1861 Village Colonial. I took this risk only because the heating, plumbing and electrical had been updated.
You are not crazy but be very clear about what this house needs before you make an offer.
If it is not in disrepair then I say Go For It!


There is life on the other side of hell.

Posts: 1670 | Registered: Mar 2004
cmego
♀ Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 9:02 PM, April 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

A new house project always keeps me occupied. If you can afford it…go for it!!


me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced

"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings


Posts: 4186 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
Williesmom
♀ Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 9:06 PM, April 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh, it's in disrepair, for sure. However, my little bucket of equity will be enough to renovate the way that this house should be done.

One of my friends went with me- she is as enamored as I am.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7772 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 9:30 PM, April 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Do it. And please PLEASE blog about the house and all the renovations with lots of pictures.

I'm all about old house reno porn.


You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana


Posts: 25774 | Registered: Aug 2011
hexed
♀ Member
Member # 19258
Default  Posted: 9:34 PM, April 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Do it!!!!!


But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler


Posts: 8460 | Registered: Apr 2008
gypsybird87
♀ Member
Member # 39193
Default  Posted: 9:54 PM, April 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sometimes things come along that actually don't have a catch. This sounds like one of them.

How would you feel if you drove past the house tomorrow and the sign said SOLD. Devastated?

If your answer is yes, then go for it!!


Me: Enjoying life
Him: Someone else's problem

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage. ~ Anais Nin


Posts: 919 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Oregon
Pentup
♀ Member
Member # 20563
Default  Posted: 11:01 PM, April 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That is one of my dreams. I hope you go for it and share lots of pictures!


Me- BS
Him- FWS (I hope- F)

Posts: 6605 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Not Oz
Dreamboat
♀ Member
Member # 10506
Default  Posted: 1:44 AM, April 10th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Is renovating a house something that you will feel "passion" for?

If the answer is yes and IF you feel like you can live in a "half baked" house

And IF you feel like you have the resources to do this (as opposed to being "house poor")

Then do it.

If the answer to any of these questions is No then I personally would not do it.

Regardless, getting out of the marital home, I think, would be a good thing. I say "I think" because I have been stuck in the marital home. I cannot WAIT for DD to graduation HS (in 2015) so I can sell the fucking thing. I hate it and I trigger here. When I sell this house I don't think I will consider a fixer upper because the answer to all 3 questions is a resounding "no"

If it is right for you then do it. Just realistically consider all of the issues involved.


And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off
-- Shake It Out, Florence And The Machine

Posts: 17689 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: A better place :)
woundedwidow
♀ Member
Member # 36869
Default  Posted: 5:58 AM, April 10th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm an old house person myself (87 yr. old bungalow), so my first response would be to go for it. However, I would strongly agree that not only do you need a home inspector, but one who is experienced at inspecting OLD houses - many inspectors are not! Mine was inspected twice before I bought it, and I still just spent a boatload of money to correct old cast iron plumbing connections and re-support the main beam. But, I love the old gal! BTW, if you do buy the house, PM me and I'll send you a link to an amazing web forum for ALL old house lovers, some of whom are nationally known for their restoration work. Good luck on your purchase!


Be careful what you wish for the most - you may get it.

Posts: 396 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: VA
Amazonia
♀ Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 7:27 AM, April 10th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OMG, can I squee over a house for you!?


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13801 | Registered: Jul 2011
little turtle
♀ Member
Member # 15584
Default  Posted: 7:37 AM, April 10th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sounds fantastic!!
Pics?


Failure is success if we learn from it.

Posts: 4209 | Registered: Aug 2007 | From: michigan
IWantDoOver
Member
Member # 39440
Default  Posted: 11:17 AM, April 10th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Way more house than I need.

Ask to see the utility bills before you buy.

Look, it's a buyers market. A new house may be just what you need. But is it this house?

Why not put your log home on the market and take a day or three for your rational brain to think about "a 150 year old Victorian that needs a ton of work."


Peace

Posts: 212 | Registered: Jun 2013
norabird
♀ Member
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 12:05 PM, April 10th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Go for it!!! You could find a renter for that extra space or AirBnB it.

You can totally be careful about energy use once there--as in meticulously careful!--and can have room to host us SIers plus you will save on gas costs from car commuting.


Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4196 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
Topic Posts: 40
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