Trouble is, there are large falls ahead and if you don't make some sort of decision, some determination of what to do, then you're going right over them.
He's being a bunny on the hill, freezing and hoping that trouble will magically go away and hid itself under the rug. Sounds like you're doing the same thing. Trouble is that when you sweep shit under a carpet, it still stinks. It doesn't go away, it just causes lumps in the carpet that squish and stink every time you walk across it, no matter how much you ignore those lumps.
IMO, you two are going to have to hash this out one way or the other. Do you have access to an IC? To a MC? Because your life is passing by. Limbo is not a healthy place to live nor is it a healthy place to raise your children. (((hugs)))
D-Day, June 10, 2012
Are you taking your power back? That was one thing I felt I needed. OW knew where I lived, had been in my car, met my dogs and I felt like they both took all this power from me. So I demanded to know where she lived, what car she drove, where she worked etc, so that I felt I had some of the power back.
My IC said to me, have you been indignant? I had to ask her what she really meant by that, she said, it is looking them in the eyes, coming from a place of strength and saying, you will never treat me this way again, and if you do, these are the consequences, and I will follow through. You sound as though you are letting your WW dictate how this is going to be played out. It is not his decision now, he chucked away the ability to have a choice in how your relationship went when he left it to have an affair. Now he has two choices, your way or the high way. If he won't choose your way then he is not remorseful at all or at least unwilling to take full responsibility for the affair and work his arse off to fix the mess he created!
Sending you strength, god knows all BS need a healthy dose of it every day! You are POWERFUL!! Demand what you need!