Topic: Now DS is missing...
Member # 6370
| Posted: 9:08 PM, April 18th (Friday), 2014|
Our words seem so small and inadequate in comparison to what you are enduring. While we all wish we could do something .... we can just send you and your family our sincere condolences and love.
"Because I deserve better"
Posts: 1006 | Registered: Feb 2005
|Want To Wake Up |
Member # 31583
| Posted: 9:10 PM, April 18th (Friday), 2014|
Latest TT... Nov 2013 (yep, 2013... not a typo!)
"Adultery is not a symptom of a struggling marriage....a struggling marriage is a result of a person who can chose adultery."- saw this on SI
Posts: 478 | Registered: Mar 2011
Member # 30369
| Posted: 9:29 PM, April 18th (Friday), 2014|
Thinking of you.
((((Phoenix and family))))
Posts: 8019 | Registered: Dec 2010
Member # 27071
| Posted: 10:00 PM, April 18th (Friday), 2014|
I simply cannot imagine your grief, Phoenix. My heart aches and breaks for you. Lean on your friends right now; they WILL get you through this muck and mire. ((((Phoenix))))
Married 34 yrs, LIBerated: 2/17/11
MOW: 50 (she said she wanted a sugar daddy; xh said, "I'M HIM!")
Actions ALWAYS have consequences. Too bad cheaters don't consider the consequences BEFORE they create so much damage.
Posts: 529 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Missouri & Massachusetts
Member # 33226
| Posted: 7:30 AM, April 19th (Saturday), 2014|
You are on my mind, honey. (((((Phoenix)))))
You can call me NIK
"Keep your face always toward the sunshine - and shadows will fall behind you."
Posts: 26209 | Registered: Aug 2011
Member # 34697
| Posted: 7:50 AM, April 19th (Saturday), 2014|
Just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking about you.
"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear
Posts: 4745 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
Member # 19258
| Posted: 8:56 AM, April 19th (Saturday), 2014|
thinking about you this morning.
But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned
“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler
Posts: 8490 | Registered: Apr 2008
Member # 34722
| Posted: 9:44 AM, April 19th (Saturday), 2014|
Thinking of you throughout every day and hoping you are able to find ways to cope with these incomprehensible tragedies. ((((((((Phoenix))))))))
Finding what life could have been....... Why didn't I see it?
Posts: 2481 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: the Other Side
Member # 34373
| Posted: 9:56 AM, April 19th (Saturday), 2014|
Thinking of you daily (((Phoenix)))
Me: 46 BS Divorced
Him: 45 Married OW
5 kids: IrishLass 27,IrishLad 25, IrishLass 23, IrishLad 21 and IrishLad 12
"You can't run from trouble..there ain't no place that far"
Posts: 1801 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: WA
Member # 19825
| Posted: 9:56 AM, April 19th (Saturday), 2014|
Prayers for strength during this most difficult time. (Prayers)
He did not see what he had in me, what I saw in him I did not have!
Love kills slowly.
Posts: 1651 | Registered: Jun 2008
Member # 20563
| Posted: 9:58 AM, April 19th (Saturday), 2014|
Praying for you and your family every day.
Him- FWS (I hope- F)
Posts: 6679 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Not Oz
Member # 39439
| Posted: 10:05 AM, April 19th (Saturday), 2014|
I am so sorry. Sending you strength. My heart breaks for you.
You are in my thoughts.
And remember Murphy is right. Nothing is so bad that it can't get worse!!!
Posts: 1390 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Ontario, Canada
Member # 38928
| Posted: 11:39 AM, April 19th (Saturday), 2014|
Thank you, everyone, from the bottom of my heart.
We got home last night and will be bringing DS home next week for a full military funeral. The Army had a memorial service on base for his fellow soldiers and us. The number of soldiers impacted was truly incredible. However, we had to have security around the chapel to keep the media out as they have been in relentless.
I cannot say enough good things about the Army. They have been incredibly supportive and have bent over backwards to help in every possible way. They even flew my DDs in for the memorial service. Words cannot express my gratitude for what they have done and continue to do. A group of soldiers is making a custom cross to take where he was found, and they are taking a fabricated metal soldier that stood in front of his barracks as well. So very touching. DS's best friend (they went into the Army together and have been stationed together from Day 1) is DS's escort, along with DS's barracks roommate (who was his roommate on deployment). They are sending a contingent to be pall bearers, including a third best friend that was away at training when this happened. These boys are my unofficial adopted sons, so that has been difficult to see the heartbreak on their faces. But I am incredibly thankful the Army is sending them here to help lay him to rest and say their final goodbyes. That is going to be difficult. Those boys are considered family and my heart aches for them and their loss.
I also went to my bro's office and collected his personal effects as DS was going to do that but now obviously cannot. Visited with my nieces as well and discussed some of those issues.
It has been an incredibly difficult week and I am so very tired. However, we still have to get thru this week until DS is laid to rest. And we still have to get all his stuff shipped home, which the Army is thankfully taking care of. But I will have to deal with that arrival in the coming weeks.
I cannot get into details in this forum, but the Ex, while being very supportive thru his own heartbreak also had incredibly bad timing about discussing issues between us while this was going on. That has only served to make a difficult situation unnecessarily more difficult, with added pressure I don't want or need right now. I will discuss that in the S/D forum when I am ready. I hope I haven't crossed any lines here mods, and I am sorry if I did. It's just impossible to separate everything completely as it is all interconnected.
Bro and SIL are still missing, even though that list is shrinking. A detective said they think they may be in an area they may have difficulty getting to. We have told them it was okay to let them rest at the site as that is where they loved to be. They are taking that into consideration as to when they call off recovery efforts.
My DDs are holding up, and I know I need to be there for them, as well as my father who is also taking things hard. I am just beginning to run out of strength. But it is good to be home so I can decompress, rest, and try to regain some strength to get thru this.
Thank you all again for your support. I think I am dehydrated from the unending crying... I am just numb right now.
BS - Me
XPOS - too many OW/OCs over 20+yrs
Kids - DDs 23,18 -DS20 Deceased
M Dissolved 2013
This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man ~ Shakespeare, Hamlet
Posts: 1265 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Rising out of Hell's ashes!
Member # 16024
| Posted: 11:45 AM, April 19th (Saturday), 2014|
Phoenix1, You have been so heavy in everybody's thoughts and prayers. I hope you continue to feel the strength and love that is being sent your way.
Thank you for checking in with us. Giant, loving hugs to you.
Take up your space (and do it well).
"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."
Posts: 38704 | Registered: Sep 2007
Member # 26531
| Posted: 11:46 AM, April 19th (Saturday), 2014|
(((Phoenix and family)))
My thoughts and prayers continue to be with you.
Me: BSO - 46
Him: FWSO - 69
DS - 13
D-Day - 12-11-09,
R - he finally came home
Your life is an Occasion. Rise to it. - Mr. Magorium, "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium"
Posts: 24678 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Florida
Member # 31722
| Posted: 11:51 AM, April 19th (Saturday), 2014|
Sending hugs, and prayers to day.
I am so sorry for all you have had to go thru, and will continue to go thru.
Just wanted to say that you did an amazing job with your children. Your wonderful, and beloved, son has proven that!!
Posts: 1330 | Registered: Apr 2011 | From:
Member # 18449
| Posted: 11:52 AM, April 19th (Saturday), 2014|
Posts: 11791 | Registered: Mar 2008
Member # 31349
| Posted: 11:58 AM, April 19th (Saturday), 2014|
I check here every single day - multiple times. We are all here with you.
"If the path you walk leads back to yourself, you'll never get anywhere." - Master Oogway
Posts: 18366 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
Member # 13813
| Posted: 12:08 PM, April 19th (Saturday), 2014|
You are in my prayers.
Married 18 yrs, together 25+.
The story doesn't really matter anymore. Time is a great healer. Life is good.
Posts: 2432 | Registered: Mar 2007
Member # 16671
| Posted: 12:09 PM, April 19th (Saturday), 2014|
Phoenix, you are on so many minds, please take care of yourself. I can't imagine your grief, and send you so much love right now. I hope you can rest now that you will be home.
Me(BS)45(at the time of D-day)
Divorced 2009, Closing on house Nov 2011 -
No longer waiting for the other "she" to drop.
Posts: 4707 | Registered: Oct 2007
|Topic Posts: 767|