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User Topic: Now DS is missing...
♀ Member
Member # 19785
Default  Posted: 2:11 PM, April 20th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Continuing to keep you in our prayers.

I originally joined SI as a way to help my best friends find ways of coping with infidelity, but now infidelity has touched my family much closer to home.

Posts: 878 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: Midwest USA
♀ Member
Member # 99
Default  Posted: 2:47 PM, April 20th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Thanks for keeping your SI family informed as to how you are doing. We ALL care about you, and will continue to pray for the strength you need to face the times ahead. I still can't imagine the heartbreak you are having to endure. God bless you and your family, and remember that the collective SI will always be here to help you through this.

"Anyone perfect must be lying; anything easy has its cost. Anyone plain can be lovely; anyone loved can be lost." Barenaked Ladies

Posts: 2491 | Registered: Jun 2002 | From: North Carolina
♀ Member
Member # 34835
Default  Posted: 2:48 PM, April 20th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Phoenix, thank you so much for taking the time to update us. I do not know you but I literally was worried sick over you. I thought of you constantly and can't recall how often I read about your DS. I have cried quite a bit thinking of the pain you are going through.

I agree with a previous poster about a young tree being stronger than you think. I moved into a new home years ago and the previous owner planted a tiny tree in our yard as a house warming gift. Within a few months we had an ice storm. Most of the trees in the neighborhood collapsed and broke. Our little tree looked like she would snap but the ice melted and she stood back straight. A few months later we had a small tornado and she was hit with a large tire. She snapped back. The neighborhood kids kicked and hit her all the time and she's still looking great. The point is you are stronger than you think even when you think you are not.

Thank you for posting. We are always here for you. Even if months down the road you need an ear to listen or just to vent, don't hesitate to.

I'm sending many hugs and strength for the upcoming week.

(((((((((((((((((((Phoenix and family))))))))))))))))))

Posts: 237 | Registered: Feb 2012
♀ Member
Member # 19258
Default  Posted: 5:27 PM, April 20th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((phoenix + loved ones)))

You are so strong. You're still thinking of other people and functioning....I can't imagine anything stronger right now. You're grace in the face of all of this is breath taking. Thank you for checking in.

But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler

Posts: 8489 | Registered: Apr 2008
♀ Member
Member # 41884
Default  Posted: 7:29 PM, April 20th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Your description of your Ds's time with you brother and SIL sound so nurturing safe, and wonderful. He and his fellow soldiers were fortunate to have that safe haven together with them and it sounds like it was a wonderful experience. The relationship that your DS and your brother cultivated was so special and precious; many people can go through their whole lives without such valuable connections and experiences. I just thought it was worth noting what a special situation those boys had with your brother and SIL; special people all the way around…
I cannot imagine that you are being asked to be so flexible that you will need to bend to the degree that you will need to, but you will do it, and it will feel like you will not be able to keep from snapping or that you will never be upright again, but in time I believe that you will and the sunlight will shine on you and your girls, encouraging new growth and strength renewed. Until that can happen, we will all be here sending strength your way.

BW: 44 Me
DDay1 9-9-13 (18th Wedding Anniversary) 6 wk EA, 1 wk PA
DDay2: 10-25-13 EA/PA with same OW 12 1/2 years ago for 3 months
OW: XGF Predator who never stopped pursuing WH
DS 13
DD 11

Posts: 724 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: New York
♂ Member
Member # 42012
Default  Posted: 7:38 PM, April 20th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks for the update. Continued thoughts and prayers with you and your family.

25 years and counting of pain caused by mother's infidelity. Aftermath: 1 deceased sibling, 1 lost family, 3 lost souls.
"Each new day I am just glad to be alive and have survived all that I did." Ashland13

Posts: 2339 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Northeast US
♀ Member
Member # 42022
Default  Posted: 8:13 PM, April 20th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OMG... I soooooo soooooo soooooo sorry.

[This message edited by iamsoblind42 at 9:21 PM, April 20th (Sunday)]

I'm a survivor, I'm gonna make it, I will survive, keep on surviving...

BS: me 42
WH: 48
2 kids
Married 18 years
D-day - 1/11/14
Filed - 1/16/14
Divorced 4/21/14
Walked in on WH and BF while her H watched

Posts: 210 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Colorado
♀ Member
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 8:23 PM, April 20th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


I hope that your DS, brother and SIL are all able to be with each other now. I know you feel you may break, but I hope the idea of that can allow you to make it through. I know how strong your love is and that as much as it breaks for your losses it still goes out to those in this world who need you--your dad and DDs, and the friends of DS. It takes a remarkable, beautiful soul to think of others compassionately during a time of such sorrow, and that strength is what will allow you to bend but not break. I am glad the army is being so helpful. The SI army is always here for you too.

Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4203 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
♀ Member
Member # 25001
Default  Posted: 8:30 PM, April 20th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you for the update. You and your family continue to be in my thoughts. I don't post often in your threads because I don't know what to say, but I read them all the time.

You have my continued support. Sending strength and (((hugs))).

[This message edited by simplydevastated at 8:31 PM, April 20th (Sunday)]

Me - BS, 39 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS10, DD7
Married, for now... (4+ D-Day - listed in profile.)

Posts: 5854 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: In the darkest depths of hell!
♀ Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 9:37 PM, April 20th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you for the update. We are all praying so hard for you. (((hugs)))

Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012

Posts: 5070 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
♀ Member
Member # 36445
Default  Posted: 12:10 AM, April 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Phoenix please look after yourself too, you are caring so much for everyone else right now and their grief. I hope they return the favour to you when you are ready.

That tree you feel like will only continue to bend in the breeze with the right nutrients and care.

Sending you strength and hugs xx.

"Loving someone should not mean losing you. Love empowers you. It shouldn't erase you. - Thelma Davis.

Posts: 1376 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Australia
♀ Member
Member # 33581
Default  Posted: 12:31 AM, April 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you for checking in. We are all thinking of you and your DDs. Sending you strength and peace.

If Happy Ever After did exist, I would still be holding you like this.
All those fairly tales are full of shit.
One more fucking love song I'll be sick. ~ Maroon 5

Posts: 1051 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Kailua-Kona, HI
♀ Member
Member # 21964
Default  Posted: 6:21 AM, April 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh Phoenix, that you take the time to let us all here know what's going on, you have the biggest heart. And it can weather this. DS's friends are lucky to have you to help them.

"I'm not afraid of storms, for I'm learning how to sail my ship." - Louisa May Alcott

Posts: 3143 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Mexico
♀ Member
Member # 30164
Default  Posted: 7:00 AM, April 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So very sorry to read of the traumatic losses to you and your loved ones. Keeping you all in my prayers. ((Phoenix))

"I'm not much into health food, I am into champagne."

Posts: 450 | Registered: Nov 2010
weeping willow
♀ Member
Member # 22800
Default  Posted: 7:46 AM, April 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you for taking the time to update. You and your family are on my mind and in my prayers continually.

My 15 year old DS took his life 26 years ago. If you feel the need to talk, feel free to PM me.

Sending you prayers and strength, and more (((hugs))).

BW - me FWH - him
D Day - July 26, 2007
Married 36 years

Posts: 1793 | Registered: Feb 2009
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 7:48 AM, April 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just read through your last two updates, and my heart is so heavy for you. The analogy you make about the young tree is very true, but a young tree doesn't break, because it still so pliable. You are this tree, and you will withstand this storm. When the sun does come out again, you will appreciate it all the more, for having weathered such a storm, a storm that most of us can't even fathom.

You are strong, and we are all here for you.

I am also proud to be an American, and know that our military is doing all the right things for you, your family, and of course your son, and his friends.

You are in my thoughts, and prayers.
May warm, happy memories bring you peace and comfort these days.

((((and strength))))

Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8786 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
♀ Member
Member # 11224
Default  Posted: 10:23 AM, April 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


I think of you every single day. Many continued prayers of love, strength and peace are being sent in your name.

May God's warmth surround you as you deal with the difficult days ahead.

Posts: 1052 | Registered: Jul 2006
♀ Member
Member # 24849
Default  Posted: 11:17 AM, April 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

And everyone here will be there with you, holding you up.
Absolutely!!!! I don't have any words - just hugs... (((Phoenix)))

FWW - 41
"Don't think first about the risks of speaking up. Think first about the risks of not speaking up." ~ Kerry Patterson

Posts: 6020 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: So Cal.....
♂ Member
Member # 30079
Default  Posted: 1:55 PM, April 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I hope you can find peace and a moment to catch your breath. We are all here, thinking and praying for you. So sorry for your losses. My heart ached for you and your family.

D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10).
No life should be passively relinquished due to the toxicity of others and taking steps to protect yourself may very well be the most important steps you will ever take.

Posts: 1920 | Registered: Nov 2010
♀ Member
Member # 40144
Default  Posted: 2:51 PM, April 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

There are no words I can find to express my sincerest condolences for you and your family. I wish you all the strength you need to persevere in the face of this avalanche of heartbreak. I hope that the strength of others can carry you when you can't do it on your own. My heart bleeds for you. God bless you, your father, and your DDs.

Me: 40s BS, Him: 40s WH
M 21 yrs - 3 teens
LTA = 2+ yrs, Dday = 2/10/13, he moved out, he officially moved back in 1/25/14 and our work continues...

Posts: 735 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: MidWest
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