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User Topic: Now DS is missing...
♀ Member
Member # 11224
Default  Posted: 8:53 AM, April 22nd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So touching, Phoenix, and so much love. That is one thing that strikes me each and every time you have spoken of your son... when he was searching, when he was being searched for, and now... just incredible love to and from both of you.

I am sure his arms are wrapped tightly around you every moment of every day, and he will provide extra support in the difficult days ahead.

I'm humbled by your strength during this unimaginable time. God bless you, Phoenix.


Posts: 1052 | Registered: Jul 2006
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 8:54 AM, April 22nd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Your poem is wonderful, and not only beautiful but really reveals the essence of who your son is. I feel like I know him, and would really get along well with him.

You are so strong. Hang in there.
We got your back.

((((and continued strength))))

Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8798 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
♂ Member
Member # 33699
Default  Posted: 9:09 AM, April 22nd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Your poem is beautiful.

In a way I am glad they found your bro and SIL. I hope you are able to start working towards finding some closure or sorts and feel at peace.


"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indominable will" - Mahatma Gandi

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - Aubrie

Posts: 3469 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Georgia
♀ Member
Member # 14918
Default  Posted: 9:19 AM, April 22nd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Phoenix, I am so very sorry for your losses. I am sure you know that everyone sends you hugs as well as strength. You are and will continue to be lifted up in prayer. God bless you. I pray you get through the next few days with the courage, wisdom and peace that you've shown already on SI. Dear lady, you matter and so do your struggles. Post when you need to.

Just HOW stupid do you think I am, exactly?

Posts: 1232 | Registered: Jun 2007
♀ Member
Member # 16089
Default  Posted: 9:23 AM, April 22nd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Phoenix, I have been following your previous thread with regards to your brother and SIL and was amazed at the strength and maturity your son showed. To read this latest thread and the heart breaking news about your son, truly breaks my heart.

You have shown amazing strength yourself although you are dying inside and I admire you greatly for that.

Please try and take some comfort in the thought that your brother, SIL and son are all now together. Them telling you today that they have been found, on the day your son returns home is as if they are letting you know they are taking care of him and will continue to do so until you meet again.

Please take care of yourself. You must allow yourself to grieve as well as trying to comfort those around you. Let someone become your crutch for a while and don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it.

I know you know we are all here for you. SI is a wonderful family and when members are in pain, we all are too.

Sending you much love and praying for you and your family at this very sad time. xxxxx

WH 49
Me 44

3 beautiful children

Married 14 years together 17

DD1 03/06
DD2 06/07

In R and going well, hoping everyday that this is the last time otherwise I'm out of here

Posts: 432 | Registered: Sep 2007 | From: Europe
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 9:52 AM, April 22nd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Beautiful words that show the wonderful relationship you and your son have.

You and your family are always on my mind, know that I'm praying for you and your family.


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5547 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
♀ Member
Member # 19258
Default  Posted: 9:57 AM, April 22nd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


sending you strength this week.

But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler

Posts: 8490 | Registered: Apr 2008
♀ New Member
Member # 41696
Default  Posted: 9:57 AM, April 22nd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


It is a beautiful tribute to your son and as a total stranger I can feel the love you have for him.

I hope that the news of your brother and sister in law will bring you some solace and will make the tasks you face in the days ahead a little easier.

As you continue to take care of all of those around you, please be sure to take care of yourself! Reach out to us when you can, when you need to, when you want to! We are hear to listen and console and hopefully bring you a little relief.

God Bless.

Posts: 24 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: US
♀ Member
Member # 25341
Default  Posted: 10:03 AM, April 22nd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Your poem is beautiful, a touching tribute to your son and a celebration of the life and love that you shared.

Sending you more strength to get through the difficult days ahead. You and your family are in my thoughts.


Me (BS), Him (WH): early 50's
3 DS: teens!!! :)
M: 25 (19 1/2 at Dday), Together 30
Dday: Dec 2008
Limbo-ish, again (after multiple S) -- weighing my options

Posts: 2676 | Registered: Aug 2009 | From: EU
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Member # 33457
Default  Posted: 10:17 AM, April 22nd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That's a beautiful poem Phoenix. That you are able to be so eloquent during this traumatic time says a lot about your spirit. Your son was lovely young man who touched a lot of people's hearts.

Peace be with you and your family and now that your brother and SIL can finally be laid to rest.

Growing forward

Posts: 1767 | Registered: Sep 2011
♀ Member
Member # 40144
Default  Posted: 10:56 AM, April 22nd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Your poem is amazing and such a tribute to your son. You seem to have captured his essence.

You are one amazing woman. The strength and love that you continue to pour out for your family is inspirational. I cannot stop thinking about you. I hope that you will be comforted in the days ahead. You are so in need of that comfort and love.

Please know we are all standing with you in spirit through your anguish. We would each take a share of it from you, if only we could. We are holding you close to our hearts.

Me: 40s BS, Him: 40s WH
M 21 yrs - 3 teens
LTA = 2+ yrs, Dday = 2/10/13, he moved out, he officially moved back in 1/25/14 and our work continues...

Posts: 741 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: MidWest
♀ Member
Member # 16671
Default  Posted: 11:31 AM, April 22nd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Your strength and courage are amazing. The poem is beautiful, it will bring all who read it to tears, and yet provide a comfort and stillness in the truth you have so eloquently conveyed.

And now your brother and sister-in-law have been found. I hope you will find closure and peace with this soon.

So many strangers here are praying for your healing and the time when you are able to be alive again.


Me(BS)45(at the time of D-day)

Divorced 2009, Closing on house Nov 2011 -
No longer waiting for the other "she" to drop.

Posts: 4706 | Registered: Oct 2007
♂ Guide
Member # 30369
Default  Posted: 11:38 AM, April 22nd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That poem is so touching and beautiful. You did such a wonderful and amazing job on that.

That must have been so hard getting the final news on your brother and SIL.

Sending you hugs and continued strength.


Posts: 8009 | Registered: Dec 2010
♀ Member
Member # 41033
Default  Posted: 12:04 PM, April 22nd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I honestly don't know where you got the strength to write something that beautiful while dealing with so much loss. Amazing.

Posts: 402 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Illinois
♀ Member
Member # 31722
Default  Posted: 12:22 PM, April 22nd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What a truly beautiful tribute to your son.

Your strength comes shining thru with your words.

I knew, by talking to my friend, that they would find your DBB and DBSIL. That is one more step towards you finding closure.

Sending prayers, strength and hugs for the hard days ahead of you. You will be encased by all of us here, at SI, with our hugs and love. Please feel us, and soak it all up.

Your son's life, and legacy will be forever remembered here. He became such a big part of the story that whenever Oso is mentioned you can bet your beloved son will also be mentioned, and a prayer will be said.

Words are so inadequate, but I hope you can feel the love and warmth in them.

Me: BS
Him: WH

Posts: 1330 | Registered: Apr 2011 | From:
♀ Member
Member # 2766
Default  Posted: 12:57 PM, April 22nd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've just read this now. How devastating this is! I read both threads, and my heart truly aches for you.

You referred to your mother telling you "this too shall pass". But, although the agony will mellow over time, it will not pass. How can it? But it will change, it will become bearable. You are showing tremendous grace, and even though you don't feel it, you are strong, you will endure.

My mother too used that phrase in difficult times, This too shall pass". My mother also said "a problem shared is a problem halved". You are right to share here, to share with any and all of your support system. You share, and you support, there are many people in pain right now. You are not alone.

Many prayers are being spoken for you and yours. Few of us, if any, can truly know the depth of your grief, but understand it is truly immense.

I am so sorry.

Posts: 2641 | Registered: Nov 2003 | From: Niagara-on-the-Lake, Canada
♀ Member
Member # 15300
Default  Posted: 1:02 PM, April 22nd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What a lovely tribute to your darling son, Phoenix. Hugs and strength.

Age: 64..ummmmmmm,, hell born in 1947. You figure it out!

"I could have missed the pain, but I would have had to miss the dance." Garth Brooks

Posts: 7421 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Toronto, Canada
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 1:09 PM, April 22nd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Phoenix - your poem is so beautiful and full of love. I know today is a tremendously difficult day for you. I hope our thoughts and love reach you and give you a little comfort as you walk through the day. (((((phoenix)))))

You can call me NIK

"Keep your face always toward the sunshine - and shadows will fall behind you."
-Walt Whitman

Posts: 26192 | Registered: Aug 2011
♀ Member
Member # 26651
Default  Posted: 1:44 PM, April 22nd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Phoenix & Family)))

I am very sorry for all you are going through The poem is beautiful.

Me: FBW/30 Him: FWH/34 The kidlets: DS14, DS10, and DD8 The hounds: Four Shih Tzu's
Finally, completely R'd
Clothed in strength and dignity, with nothing to fear, she smiles when she thinks about the future.~Proverbs 31:25

Posts: 11592 | Registered: Dec 2009
♀ Member
Member # 34722
Default  Posted: 1:46 PM, April 22nd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I believe your son was there with you, too, helping you choose the words for your beautiful poem. I hope you found some peace in that act.

I am in awe of your ability to help others cope with this during your own grief and loss. You are a special person. Maybe that is part of your own coping mechanism, but I hope you don't feel this is a part of your burden. Strength to you to navigate the rest of your journey.

Finding what life could have been....... Why didn't I see it?

Posts: 2472 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: the Other Side
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