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User Topic: Now DS is missing...
confused615
♀ Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 3:50 PM, April 24th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thinking of you today.

Millions of hugs sent your way.


BS(me)42
FWH 45
4 kids..21,20,11,10
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Reconciling.

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7494 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
devasted30
♀ Member
Member # 39439
Default  Posted: 3:55 PM, April 24th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sending you prayers and strength. We are all standing beside you and supporting you today. ((((HUGS))))

Posts: 1223 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Ontario, Canada
norabird
♀ Member
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 3:57 PM, April 24th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I hope the service today brings some peace and closure. (((Phoenix & family)))


Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4190 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
karmahappens
♀ Member
Member # 35846
Default  Posted: 3:58 PM, April 24th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You are in my thoughts.

(((phoenix)))


“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaïs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd

Posts: 3822 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Massachusetts
CheaterMagnet
♀ Member
Member # 33581
Default  Posted: 4:42 PM, April 24th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Phoenix,

I think about you every single day and I keep sending you strength and peace. I cannot even imagine your pain. My son has been suicidal since he was 7. I feel so incredibly fortunate that he's never been successful and more so that he is here with me now where I can be more help to him and talk him off the ledge. I'm so sorry. I am just so very, very sorry.

A bazillion hugs to you and your entire family and friends.


If Happy Ever After did exist, I would still be holding you like this.
All those fairly tales are full of shit.
One more fucking love song I'll be sick. ~ Maroon 5

Posts: 1035 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Kailua-Kona, HI
MissesJai
♀ Member
Member # 24849
Default  Posted: 4:44 PM, April 24th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Phoenix & family)))


FWW - 41
"Don't think first about the risks of speaking up. Think first about the risks of not speaking up." ~ Kerry Patterson

Posts: 5936 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: So Cal.....
hexed
♀ Member
Member # 19258
Default  Posted: 8:48 PM, April 24th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

sending you much love and strength. hope that you are doing as well as possible today.

((phoenix))


But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler


Posts: 8452 | Registered: Apr 2008
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 10:23 PM, April 24th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((Phoenix & family)))) You are all in my thoughts. Not an hour goes by when I am not thinking of you all and sending you strength and comfort.


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25510 | Registered: Aug 2011
tired girl
♀ Member
Member # 28053
Default  Posted: 12:13 AM, April 25th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have watched both of your threads and your strength has left me in awe and in tears. You and your family are in my thoughts. I am so sorry that you have had to endure so much.
((((Phoenix)))


Me45 Him 45 Hardlessons DS 25,23,20
D Day 1/18/10 his 3/8/2012 mine
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanor Roosevelt

Posts: 4957 | Registered: Mar 2010 | From: az
Phoenix1
♀ Member
Member # 38928
Default  Posted: 2:10 AM, April 25th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Incredibly rough and long day. DD17 wanted to talk and we talked until 3 am. Then up at 7 as my dad called to get driving directions after flying in late last night. Ex-MIL is here and can barely walk without assistance and is very hard of hearing. The general chaos is stressing me out. The Ex is smothering me and stressing me out.

In the midst of the chaos we all spent time with DS. The large flower wreath I ordered to frame his picture is beautiful in red, white, and blue flowers. The collage I created last night with pictures that represent him outside his military persona came out well, and it brought a smile to his BF's face as he was present for many of the photos. I only chose pics where he is smiling, that beautiful smile I love so much. I was able to stroke his hair for a while and kiss him, through a veil of unending tears. I will be getting a lock of his hair. One of his best female friends (another unofficial adopted child) broke down and I let her cry in my arms. We were always secretly hoping those two would one day marry and her heart was broken.

I am finding my strength faltering right now, and I am incredibly tired. Yet the longest day yet will be upon us tomorrow with the funeral and burial. I wish I would wake up and find it was all a bad dream...


BS - Me
XPOS - too many OW/OCs over 20+yrs
Kids - DDs 23,17 -DS20 Deceased
M Dissolved 2013

This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man ~ Shakespeare, Hamlet


Posts: 1137 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Rising out of Hell's ashes!
sisoon
♂ Member
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 5:00 AM, April 25th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Still thinking of you, Phoenix1. I wish there were something concrete I could do.


fBH (me) - 70 (22 in my head), fWW (plainsong) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/2010
Recovered, not yet fully R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.

Posts: 10166 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
knutz
♀ Member
Member # 28877
Default  Posted: 6:50 AM, April 25th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We are all still here, and we will all be here for you when this day is done. Today, rely on your IRL friends to take care of the ex-MIL and others. Do what YOU need to get through this hard, impossible day. Your SI family will be here whenever you need us.


Together 23 years
Married 20 Years
BW (me) 48
FWH: 49 (rSA)
2 children, 9 & 12
DDay: December 27, 2009
"Life is not what it is supposed to be. It is what it is. The way we cope with it is what makes the difference". Virginia Satir

Posts: 225 | Registered: Jun 2010 | From: New England
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 7:33 AM, April 25th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh Phoenix, I hope that you are able to collapse in a warm comfortable bed after today.

I can not imagine how incredibly bone tired you must be. This is all very surreal under normal circumstances, I am sure you must feel that way today.

Know that we are sending you strength, and hoping for a beautiful day for you.

(((and strength))))


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8595 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
still2suspicious
♀ Member
Member # 31722
Default  Posted: 8:52 AM, April 25th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((phoenix))

I am sending your prayers and strength for today.

You are still showing amazing strength, and courage. What an inspiration you are to everyone who knows you.

Hang on the the thought that you will be able to get some down time soon.

Lean on your family/friends as much as you need.

I wish I lived near you. I would love to be one of your "leaners"

Words still escape me but know that I am thinking of you, and sending prayers.

Feel our hugs, my friend. We will surround you with love.


Me: BS
Him: WH
DDay: LTEA

Posts: 1290 | Registered: Apr 2011 | From:
abbycadabby
♀ Member
Member # 27428
Default  Posted: 8:59 AM, April 25th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am finding my strength faltering right now, and I am incredibly tired. Yet the longest day yet will be upon us tomorrow with the funeral and burial. I wish I would wake up and find it was all a bad dream...

Biggest hugs ever . You, your family, and friends are in my thoughts and prayers today.

((((((((((((((((Phoenix1)))))))))))))))))


Posts: 1255 | Registered: Feb 2010
somanyyears
♂ Member
Member # 26970
Default  Posted: 9:11 AM, April 25th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


..((((((((((Phoenix1 and family)))))))))))

..sending continued prayers for strength and peace for you.

..so, so sad for you and yours.

smy


trust no other human- love only your pets
She isn't and never was who I thought..I can't believe who I married and what she did to us.
Me 67
Her 63
Married 42 yrs (together 47)
18 yr LTA with bf


Posts: 4125 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: the sad state of affairs
simplydevastated
♀ Member
Member # 25001
Default  Posted: 9:20 AM, April 25th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sending (((HUGS))) and strength to you and your family.


Me - BS, 39 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS10, DD7
Married, for now... (4+ D-Day - listed in profile.)

Posts: 5854 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: In the darkest depths of hell!
Pentup
♀ Member
Member # 20563
Default  Posted: 9:31 AM, April 25th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((Phoenix and family))))

I am praying Psalm 31:24 over you today
Be of good courage , and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the LORD.

You have to be running on fumes. I know you are there for your children and your sons friends and your family. Who is there to hold you up? I pray that you have IRL friends there to chase people away long enough for you to get a nap, to bring you your beverage of choice and a tasty morsel and to hug you and cry with you.


Me- BS
Him- FWS (I hope- F)

Posts: 6587 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Not Oz
gulliblelass
♀ Member
Member # 16089
Default  Posted: 9:38 AM, April 25th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Phoenix, thinking of you today as you finally lay your precious son to rest. Your words in your last few posts show such strong love from a mother to her son, my tears have not stopped flowing.

Although not a USA resident, I have much admiration in how the army have helped and respected you and your family in this sombre time. His BF's sound amazing people and I hope they are able to bring some comfort to you today and in the dark days that will follow.

We will all be with you in spirit today and trying to hold you up through what will be one of the worst days for you to contend with. You are such an amazing person and I know you will struggle through with the strength and dignity that you have shown throughout so far.

I wish I could do something more..... words are just not enough.

With lots of love and prayers xxxx


WH 49
Me 44

3 beautiful children

Married 14 years together 17

DD1 03/06
DD2 06/07

In R and going well, hoping everyday that this is the last time otherwise I'm out of here


Posts: 432 | Registered: Sep 2007 | From: Europe
DeadMumWalking
♀ Member
Member # 25341
Default  Posted: 9:41 AM, April 25th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((Phoenix))))

You have been so strong for everyone, of course you are tired.

You and your family, DS friends, and loved ones are all in my thoughts today. I'm standing there next to you to lend you some extra strength when you feel you can't go on.

It sounds like you have done everything to prepare the funeral as a celebration of your precious DS's life - what a wonderful tribute to him and gift to all those who love him. Do not be surprised if, between the many moments of sadness and grief, you find yourself smiling or even laughing at some of your memories. It is a testament to the depth of your love and the closeness of your relationship that your DS will still be able to touch you in positive ways.

I am so very, deeply sorry for your tragic losses. Please know that you are not alone.

((((Phoenix))))


Me (BS), Him (WH): early 50's
3 DS: teens!!! :)
M: 24 (19 1/2 at Dday), Together 29
Dday: Dec 2008
Limbo-ish, again (after multiple S) -- weighing my options

Posts: 2595 | Registered: Aug 2009 | From: EU
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