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Newest Member: surprised1 (45370)

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User Topic: Now DS is missing...
devasted30
♀ Member
Member # 39439
Default  Posted: 9:47 AM, May 1st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((Phoenix))))) keeping you in my thoughts and prayers


And remember Murphy is right. Nothing is so bad that it can't get worse!!!

Posts: 1325 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Ontario, Canada
StillStanding1
♀ Member
Member # 40144
Default  Posted: 11:09 AM, May 1st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thinking of you and keeping you in my prayers. You have been unbelievably strong, courageous, graceful, and giving during the most grievous of circumstances. I am praying for your continued courage and strength to face the difficult days that will still be coming. I hope that your DD's and other friends are able to give you the support you need and deserve.


Me: 40s BS, Him: 40s WH
M 21 yrs - 3 teens
LTA = 2+ yrs, Dday = 2/10/13, he moved out, he officially moved back in 1/25/14 and our work continues...

Posts: 715 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: MidWest
Phoenix1
♀ Member
Member # 38928
Default  Posted: 11:55 PM, May 1st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Every time I think I can stand up and breath I get kicked in the gut. I can't get into details, but DS's estate may end up involving a lawsuit. And I thought I was going to have a quick trip to bro's memorial service Saturday and I get a call from one niece crying about fighting between the two of them and she doesn't know what to do. Now I have to have a "come to Jesus" meeting with them after the service to tell them to grow up. I don't sugar coat words with them, and they know it. I will also be informing them that I didn't appreciate them dressing like hookers at DS's funeral either. If someone doesn't tell them, they will never learn just how inappropriate it was. I will be the only family member there besides them on Saturday as all family is closer to the state where the second service will be held. The one in WA is for their many WA friends and colleagues.

Then I find out DS's GF will be at the location where I will be picking up DS's BF. He was the one who gave me the heads up. There is real bad blood with the GF. Guess she had purchased a ticket to go to WA for DS's birthday previously and is still planning to go. Not sure why, and she is the last person I want to see during this highly stressful day, and Lord help her if she attempts to go to DS's memorial site when I am there!!. Ugh...

Going to cemetery tomorrow to put 21 white carnations on DS's grave, then leaving on a red eye tomorrow night for WA. Will be back home about 24 hr's later. Then DS's father and I have a meeting on base here for more paperwork first thing on Monday morning.

My "give a damn" is about this close <--> to being completely busted, but my love and convictions for both bro and DS compel me to trudge thru when all I really want to do is run away and sleep for a month. My current glass of wine is tasting better and better...

[This message edited by Phoenix1 at 11:58 PM, May 1st (Thursday)]


BS - Me
XPOS - too many OW/OCs over 20+yrs
Kids - DDs 23,18 -DS20 Deceased
M Dissolved 2013

This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man ~ Shakespeare, Hamlet


Posts: 1203 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Rising out of Hell's ashes!
woundedwidow
♀ Member
Member # 36869
Default  Posted: 6:55 AM, May 2nd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm SO sorry you have all these additional stressors on top of all that you have already borne, and have to bear still. I hope and pray that you can dredge up the strength to get through your brother's memorial service and the visit to your DS' memorial site, as well as attending to the necessary paperwork with DS' father. The end of all the official processing is at least in sight now, and hopefully you will soon have time and space to decompress and personally process all that has happened. My love and prayers go out to you now and during that future period, and all the years to come as well. (((Hugs))) to you, Phoenix1


Be careful what you wish for the most - you may get it.

Posts: 396 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: VA
5454real
♂ Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 7:09 AM, May 2nd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((( Phoenix)))
good lord, I am sorry about the additional stress.
sending strength and prayers.


BH 51, WW 42
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 20(Hers),DS 9 Ours, DGS 3, DGD 1 mo
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
“I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.”
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2996 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
lordhasaplan?
♂ Member
Member # 30079
Default  Posted: 8:10 AM, May 2nd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sending strength your way. Phoenix, I wish you peace today. A deep breath in the moment. When you exhale, remember we are here to help.


D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10).
No life should be passively relinquished due to the toxicity of others and taking steps to protect yourself may very well be the most important steps you will ever take.

Posts: 1909 | Registered: Nov 2010
weeping willow
♀ Member
Member # 22800
Default  Posted: 12:05 PM, May 2nd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm holding you close to my heart, and praying for you to have the strength to get through the coming days.

(((Phoenix & family)))


BW - me FWH - him
D Day - July 26, 2007
Married 36 years


Posts: 1793 | Registered: Feb 2009
yearsofpain25
♂ Member
Member # 42012
Default  Posted: 12:09 PM, May 2nd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Still thinking of you. I hope all goes well with your come to Jesus meeting. Sorry you even have to deal with that.

Sending you strength and peace.


25 years and counting of pain caused by mother's infidelity. Aftermath: 1 deceased sibling, 1 lost family, 3 lost souls.
"Each new day I am just glad to be alive and have survived all that I did." Ashland13

Posts: 2206 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Northeast US
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 12:16 PM, May 2nd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((Phoenix)))) Hope all goes as smoothly and as drama free as possible over the next few days, honey. Sending you continued strength and comfort.


You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana


Posts: 25776 | Registered: Aug 2011
still2suspicious
♀ Member
Member # 31722
Default  Posted: 12:41 PM, May 2nd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sending more prayers and hugs to your today.

I am so sorry things just keep piling up for you. You know that "every storm runs out of rain" (gary allen song). And sweetie, you have been in the storm way too long, so the end has to be coming soon.

You are truly an amazing woman.

Happy Birthday to DS and sending prayers for him too.

**my offer still stands**


Me: BS
Him: WH
DDay: LTEA

Posts: 1304 | Registered: Apr 2011 | From:
norabird
♀ Member
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 1:09 PM, May 2nd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((Phoenix))))


Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4196 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
sisoon
♂ Member
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 4:28 PM, May 2nd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Phoenix1))) You're still in my thoughts for some peace and freedom to mourn.


fBH (me) - 70 (22 in my head), fWW (plainsong) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/2010
Recovered, not yet fully R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.

Posts: 10384 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
Violated
♀ Member
Member # 21239
Default  Posted: 7:19 AM, May 3rd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((Phoenix)))) sending prayers and strength today.


Divorced 10/2013

Posts: 548 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: West Coast
SpecialK
♀ Member
Member # 42372
Default  Posted: 8:35 AM, May 3rd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Can't think of anything to say that hasn't already been said, just want you to know if prayer, faith, and compassion can get a person through this hell, then you have all of them in abundance.

May God hold you, bless you, and protect you.


Posts: 317 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: Florida
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 8:40 AM, May 3rd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Phoenix))) We're all here holding you.

Posts: 6653 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
veronique12
♀ Member
Member # 42185
Default  Posted: 8:59 AM, May 3rd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((Phoenix)))


BW: me (38)
WH: 43
OW: false "friend"
D-Day: 11/29/13 (4 month EA discovered); 12/19/13 (discovered was also PA); TT thru 2/14
Married: 2001; Together for nearly 20 years
2 beautiful young kids

Posts: 554 | Registered: Jan 2014
still2suspicious
♀ Member
Member # 31722
Default  Posted: 9:44 AM, May 3rd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sending you all the mojo you need to get thru today.

Sending prayers for you today.


Me: BS
Him: WH
DDay: LTEA

Posts: 1304 | Registered: Apr 2011 | From:
devasted30
♀ Member
Member # 39439
Default  Posted: 10:32 AM, May 3rd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thinking of you today and giving as much support as you need.


And remember Murphy is right. Nothing is so bad that it can't get worse!!!

Posts: 1325 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Ontario, Canada
LosferWords
♂ Guide
Member # 30369
Default  Posted: 2:14 PM, May 3rd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((Phoenix))))

Continuing to hold you in my thoughts and sending strength your way. Was thinking of you just now.


Posts: 7564 | Registered: Dec 2010
hexed
♀ Member
Member # 19258
Default  Posted: 8:51 PM, May 3rd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((PHOENIX))))


Hope you're getting through today. Thinking of you.


But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler


Posts: 8460 | Registered: Apr 2008
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