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Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Recommitment and Tears
Skan
♀ Member
Member # 35812
Content  Posted: 4:12 PM, April 14th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I had been thinking about this for some time so, a couple of weeks ago, when we were at my cousin’s huge wedding reception, I pulled my FWH off to the side and said to him, that I would like to have (and was ready for) a recommitment ceremony with him and what did he think? He said, today? (which is what I said, but in a slightly more harassed tone, when he first proposed to me in the middle of a crazy event that I was running at the time) We agreed that we would set up a time to discuss it when we got back, and earlier last week, we set the time as last Friday. I asked him to think about what he wanted, what he didn’t want, and what things were an absolute need, vice a want. We tossed a few ideas back and forth and also sat down and did a written discussion about why we wanted to have this ceremony and how that made us feel.

Friday, we opened a bottle of wine, sat next to each other, and talked. It came out that we both wanted a very small, intimate, ceremony, possibly only with the officient, since we felt that we would need to disclose why we were choosing to have this ceremony on a non-significant date and on a non-significant “wedding” year. We both wanted to be on or near the water. We knew what date we would celebrate our new anniversary, but we felt no need to hurry things up so that our ceremony actually fell on that date. We both wanted our MC to officiate he is a Methodist minister. FWH wanted a trip as well, however looking at vacation, he doesn’t have enough during this first year at a new company. So we decided at our 5 year anniversary, which would also be our 25 year antiversary, we would have a bigger, official celebration with friends and family, and we would start saving for that trip to one of three places we’ve always wanted to go to. Also, there were two things that I asked of him. The first, was for a proposal. I wanted him to think about what and why, and propose to me that we begin this second trip together. The second was that we go out and look for and purchase, rings together. He agreed, and then, gods, I can’t remember it all, he went down on his knees next to me, held my hands, and just poured out his heart about how sorry he was, how much he loved me, how special I was, how wonderful our love was, and how much he looked forward to spending the rest of his life with me. And then added, “BTW, this is NOT your proposal!”

Dang, I’m getting all misty-eyed thinking about it. My heart feels really full right now.


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4727 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
kiki1
♀ Member
Member # 37184
Default  Posted: 4:19 PM, April 14th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good for you Skan!

I hope this time around is fantastic for you!!!

hugs,,,,,,,,


Posts: 553 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: new york
RomanticInnocenc
♀ Member
Member # 43041
Default  Posted: 4:19 PM, April 14th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That's beautiful! I'm so glad the two of you have arrived at this place. Gives me hope that it could be my future too!


Me: BS 31
WH: 29 (theseseatsRtaken)
DS: 6 months old
Together 10 years, married 2.
DD1: 8th of Jan 2014
DD2: 10th of Jan 2014
NC: 8th of Jan
In hopeful R!

Posts: 294 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: Australia
Morhurt
♀ Member
Member # 40166
Default  Posted: 4:22 PM, April 14th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You brought tears to my eyes. :)


Me: BS
Him: FWS
M: 15 years
4 lovely daughters
Working to rebuild.

Posts: 904 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Canada
OnAnIsland
♀ Member
Member # 34319
Default  Posted: 4:38 PM, April 14th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm tearing up Skan. :)


D-day: Christmas 2011
D-day 2: 3/28/2013

Married for over 15 years
2 beautiful boys in elementary school

You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them. Maya Angelou


Posts: 1478 | Registered: Dec 2011
confused615
♀ Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 4:42 PM, April 14th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

LOVE this.


BS(me)42
FWH 45
4 kids..21,20,11,10
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Happily Reconciled.

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7319 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
LA44
♀ Member
Member # 38384
Default  Posted: 5:30 PM, April 14th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That's really nice Skan.


Me: 44
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear

Posts: 2228 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Canada, eh
ILINIA
♀ Member
Member # 39836
Default  Posted: 6:35 PM, April 14th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Beautiful. Thanks for sharing!


Entering R slowly and cautiously...

Posts: 448 | Registered: Jul 2013
devasted30
♀ Member
Member # 39439
Default  Posted: 7:45 PM, April 14th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What a wonderful post. I am so glad to read such a positive story. May your joy continue to overflow. Thanks for posting and giving us all hope.

Posts: 1045 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Ontario, Canada
beautytoashes5
♀ Member
Member # 41900
Default  Posted: 8:21 PM, April 14th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks for sharing. So beautiful! Inspiring! Hopeful!

Posts: 91 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Southern California
LosferWords
♂ Guide
Member # 30369
Default  Posted: 8:28 PM, April 14th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That is wonderful. Thanks for sharing that, Skan.

Posts: 6757 | Registered: Dec 2010
SisterMilkshake
♀ Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 8:31 PM, April 14th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sheesh, you had to go and make me cry, Skan? So happy for you. You and FWH.


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 9543 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
AML04
♀ Member
Member # 39682
Default  Posted: 8:53 PM, April 14th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Love this!! I hope we get there some day. Thank you so much for sharing.


Me-BS Him-WH DS 5/12
T-13 M-9
DDay 5/26/13, TT through 8/13
2.5 yr EA w/co-worker, PA 12/12 to 4/13.
Hopeful for R

Posts: 844 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: MA
918Mama
♀ Member
Member # 37756
Default  Posted: 3:59 AM, April 15th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Love this!!!! Yay for happy and full hearts!


Surrender to what is. Let go of what was. Have faith in what will be. -- Sonia Ricotti

Posts: 537 | Registered: Dec 2012
knightsbff
♀ Member
Member # 36853
Default  Posted: 4:35 AM, April 15th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Beautiful!


FWW 40's
D-day August 27, 2012
3 kids and 2 dogs

Posts: 1411 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Deep South, USA
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 7:28 AM, April 15th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wonderful, now aren't you glad you played the hard ass a few times early on?

Congrats. Enjoy your new beginning.


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8229 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
Williesmom
♀ Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 9:56 AM, April 15th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm divorced, cynical, and battle hardened. Your post made me cry for you.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7564 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
SeaBillowsRoll
♀ New Member
Member # 42460
Happy  Posted: 10:49 AM, April 15th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

There is hope! Congratulations on prayers answered!


Me-BS 53 Him-WS 55
M-32 yrs
D Day Oct 18, 2012 3 Yr LTA
It is well with my soul
Reconciling

Posts: 14 | Registered: Feb 2014
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 10:55 AM, April 15th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just love it, Skan. It's so wonderful that you both have grown together like this. I'm sure you will have a beautiful ceremony.

(((Skan & Mr.Skan)))


It is better to be slapped with the truth than kissed with a lie. -Russian Proverb

Posts: 17072 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
NoGoodUsername
♂ Member
Member # 40181
Default  Posted: 11:27 AM, April 15th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Go on and make me cry, why don't you?

Good for you guys. That is happy news.


Me: WH
Her: BW
Dday 7/11/13
"May you be protected from hearts that are not humble, tongues that are not wise and eyes that have forgotten how to cry."

Posts: 236 | Registered: Aug 2013
Topic Posts: 24
Pages: 1 · 2

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