Why did you go back? If she comes home now, the likelihood of an arrest for DV goes up astronomically. I didn't explain what happened to me very well. She called the cops. Cops showed up. She said she was scared. I got escorted from my own home, but not arrested. At the hearing, the best she could come up with was the oven thing. Point is, cops act first. Find out the facts later.
Got a lawyer who can come over? Gotta tell you, right now in the cops eyes, you just became guilty. Get a lawyer there fast. Second option, a family friend or neighbor who can attest to your *good* behavior.
Listen to 5454real. Take steps right now to protect yourself.
Get somebody over there. Remain calm with the police. Explain your side as best you can.
BTW, get sober. Every time you drink it's going to be another weapon in her arsenal against you
What's going on right now?
I had a bad feeling yesterday...that's why I recommended you get the VAR right away. Your WW seemed like *that* kind of WW. IM so sorry.
There will be no R with this bitch. I hope this stunt proves that to you. She has cheated for years...brought strangers into your daughter's home for sex,and now this shit?? She was so angry that you cut her internet and phone off(the methods she used to conduct her affairs) that she set you up for a DV charge. She is beyond fucked up.
Stop drinking. Stop the pills. Your child needs you.
Oh...and get those VARS and nanny cams TODAY.
..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.
But it's time to stop now. You have a daughter you HAVE to protect.
Stop the pity. This situation cannot be salvaged. You need to focus on getting you AND your daughter away from the situation.
See a lawyer. Can you file emergency Child Custody and remove your wife from the home?
Your wife WILL spin the Domestic Violence against you. Document, document, document.
Sorry, but you have to grow up and be the Leader and Father here.
Think about your daughter.
I hope you come back. I'm thinking maybe you're at work?
If you're reading this and just not responding, try to keep your reactions to her "flatlined"- no emotion, no circular arguments, nothing!
I read through the thread quickly and so I am not sure if anyone advised that you have to focus on you and now - and that will benefit your daughter. When there is an emergency in the cockpit we say, "first aviate, then navigate and then communicate." To aviate means that you have to keep the plane in the air before anything else matters. Right now you have to get into a headspace that allows you to keep functioning . The woman you married is gone for now and there is no point spending time trying to make sense of insanity. Don't let Tom and daughter crash while you try to read the manual on "her" proclivities.
I am going to go in a little different direction than the others here: I totally understand the need for coping mechanisms, including alcohol. My advice is to be mindful and look for ways to use light exercise when that is a decent substitute.
Your one-time bride will not be there for you. I imagine there was a hope or a dream at one time that she would be, but that time has passed. Time to see a lawyer, Tom. You mention you don't have friends and I get that this relationship has probably drained you. Seek help here on line and if possible locally in a support group.
I know your mind is probably racing and trying hard to make sense of things. It will come, but they will find the missing Maylaysian airliner before that happens - it's gonna' take time. One day at a time, with support from people who care.
FTB, sending strength your way.
I hope we hear from you soon!