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Newest Member: Hurtlostempty (45065)

Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: 14 years
5454real
♂ Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 8:54 PM, April 15th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You need to see an attorney ASAP. IDK if a warrant was issued for your arrest, but in all likelihood, it was.

Why did you go back? If she comes home now, the likelihood of an arrest for DV goes up astronomically. I didn't explain what happened to me very well. She called the cops. Cops showed up. She said she was scared. I got escorted from my own home, but not arrested. At the hearing, the best she could come up with was the oven thing. Point is, cops act first. Find out the facts later.

Got a lawyer who can come over? Gotta tell you, right now in the cops eyes, you just became guilty. Get a lawyer there fast. Second option, a family friend or neighbor who can attest to your *good* behavior.

Good luck


BH 51, WW 42
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 20(Hers),DS 9 Ours, DGS 3, DGD 1 mo
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2869 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
exodus
♂ New Member
Member # 42984
Default  Posted: 8:55 PM, April 15th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She's not here, I wouldn't have drank that much if she was. I only drink beer when she's here. Fortunately she's at my mom/dads for spring break. No audience needed, but thank you for putting it that way.


Me: 32
Her: 30
Daughter: 12
D-day: Sept. 2013
Previous D-day: My B-day- May 18 2008

Posts: 20 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: Maryland
ThoughtIKnewYa
♀ Member
Member # 18449
Default  Posted: 9:05 PM, April 15th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Some people will walk away, many others won't because they've been in your shoes.

Listen to 5454real. Take steps right now to protect yourself.


Posts: 11688 | Registered: Mar 2008
5454real
♂ Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 9:16 PM, April 15th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Exodus, I know your responding to another poster, but focus. Right now you've got cops outside your front door. What do you think is going to happen when WW decides to walk in with them?

Get somebody over there. Remain calm with the police. Explain your side as best you can.

BTW, get sober. Every time you drink it's going to be another weapon in her arsenal against you


BH 51, WW 42
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 20(Hers),DS 9 Ours, DGS 3, DGD 1 mo
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2869 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
ThoughtIKnewYa
♀ Member
Member # 18449
Default  Posted: 9:53 PM, April 15th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Exodus, are you still with us?

What's going on right now?


Posts: 11688 | Registered: Mar 2008
ThoughtIKnewYa
♀ Member
Member # 18449
Default  Posted: 11:00 PM, April 15th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Exodus???

Posts: 11688 | Registered: Mar 2008
confused615
♀ Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 5:20 AM, April 16th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well shit.

I had a bad feeling yesterday...that's why I recommended you get the VAR right away. Your WW seemed like *that* kind of WW. IM so sorry.

There will be no R with this bitch. I hope this stunt proves that to you. She has cheated for years...brought strangers into your daughter's home for sex,and now this shit?? She was so angry that you cut her internet and phone off(the methods she used to conduct her affairs) that she set you up for a DV charge. She is beyond fucked up.

Stop drinking. Stop the pills. Your child needs you.

File.


Oh...and get those VARS and nanny cams TODAY.


BS(me)42
FWH 45
4 kids..21,20,11,10
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Reconciling.

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7492 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
k94ever
♀ Member
Member # 11176
Default  Posted: 8:46 AM, April 16th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Exodus, I truly understand the drinking to numb the pain and to just be able to forget about the situation for a while.

But it's time to stop now. You have a daughter you HAVE to protect.

Stop the pity. This situation cannot be salvaged. You need to focus on getting you AND your daughter away from the situation.

See a lawyer. Can you file emergency Child Custody and remove your wife from the home?

Your wife WILL spin the Domestic Violence against you. Document, document, document.

Sorry, but you have to grow up and be the Leader and Father here.

{{hugs}}}

Think about your daughter.

k9


BS: 56
WS: 53
Betrayed: 23 years
Affairs: 14 (2 lasted 3 months. Rest were ONS)
WS died: 16 May 2011
Do not stay in your hurt forever. Choose to move out of it.

Posts: 6563 | Registered: Jul 2006 | From: Wisconsin
ThoughtIKnewYa
♀ Member
Member # 18449
Default  Posted: 2:41 PM, April 16th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

exodus,

I hope you come back. I'm thinking maybe you're at work?


Posts: 11688 | Registered: Mar 2008
craig2001
♂ Member
Member # 55
Default  Posted: 4:19 PM, April 16th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

All of this because he had her phone and internet turned off?

Posts: 4032 | Registered: Jun 2002
12yearsloyal
♀ Member
Member # 43064
Default  Posted: 10:09 PM, April 16th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is amazing. Makes my jack ass look like a piece of cake. So sorry you are going thru this and I hope you are ok. Seriously if you can switch off the oxy and the drinks maybe just take half a Xanax. It will make you sleepy but just take a half pill. The booze is a depressant, the Xanax should just level you off. But don't mix anything. Sending you peace.


Him: WS, Selfish, mental, mid-life crisis LTA EA PA
Me: BS American, Blonde, thin, attractive (and none of that mattered)
OW: Caribbean whore (RuPaul is better looking)
What will it profit a man if he gains the whole world but loses his soul?

Posts: 161 | Registered: Apr 2014
ThoughtIKnewYa
♀ Member
Member # 18449
Default  Posted: 11:03 PM, April 16th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow, exodus, I'm starting to worry about you! I keep wondering if you left here because of an unsupportive comment, if she actually had you arrested, or what? Please update us, when you can.

If you're reading this and just not responding, try to keep your reactions to her "flatlined"- no emotion, no circular arguments, nothing!


Posts: 11688 | Registered: Mar 2008
idealist
♂ Member
Member # 9462
Default  Posted: 11:39 PM, April 16th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi Tom
I hope my note finds you in at least a temporary place of peace. You are enduring much more than any person should be asked to shoulder. Huge respect for making it this far and seeking help!

I read through the thread quickly and so I am not sure if anyone advised that you have to focus on you and now - and that will benefit your daughter. When there is an emergency in the cockpit we say, "first aviate, then navigate and then communicate." To aviate means that you have to keep the plane in the air before anything else matters. Right now you have to get into a headspace that allows you to keep functioning . The woman you married is gone for now and there is no point spending time trying to make sense of insanity. Don't let Tom and daughter crash while you try to read the manual on "her" proclivities.

I am going to go in a little different direction than the others here: I totally understand the need for coping mechanisms, including alcohol. My advice is to be mindful and look for ways to use light exercise when that is a decent substitute.

Your one-time bride will not be there for you. I imagine there was a hope or a dream at one time that she would be, but that time has passed. Time to see a lawyer, Tom. You mention you don't have friends and I get that this relationship has probably drained you. Seek help here on line and if possible locally in a support group.

I know your mind is probably racing and trying hard to make sense of things. It will come, but they will find the missing Maylaysian airliner before that happens - it's gonna' take time. One day at a time, with support from people who care.

Hugs


Everything can be taken from a man or a woman but one thing: the last of human freedoms to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way.

Posts: 1732 | Registered: Jan 2006 | From: Southern California
confused615
♀ Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 5:15 AM, April 17th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Im guessing exodus is in jail.


BS(me)42
FWH 45
4 kids..21,20,11,10
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Reconciling.

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7492 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
5454real
♂ Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 8:10 AM, April 17th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Exodus, just checking in on you brother.

FTB, sending strength your way.


BH 51, WW 42
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 20(Hers),DS 9 Ours, DGS 3, DGD 1 mo
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2869 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
twisted
♂ Member
Member # 8873
Default  Posted: 8:46 AM, April 17th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm thinking he /she turned off his internet too, or he's in "da pokey".
Lesson one: Always be the first to call the cops, otherwise you look like the bad guy. That's what they teach you in concealed carry class, example in the Trevon Martin case. In the cops eyes, you are now the suspect until proven otherwise. That's just the way it works.


"Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

Posts: 893 | Registered: Nov 2005 | From: Oklahoma
craig2001
♂ Member
Member # 55
Default  Posted: 9:03 AM, April 17th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Lesson 2: Stay away from the alcohol at times like this. It can numb the pain, but it can also increase anger and depression.

Posts: 4032 | Registered: Jun 2002
ThoughtIKnewYa
♀ Member
Member # 18449
Default  Posted: 2:30 PM, April 17th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Don't go near her without a reputable, reliable witness. Yep. I'm suggesting ONLY supervised visits with your former W, only when you absolutely have to be around her. Don't give her another chance to screw you over like this.

I hope we hear from you soon!


Posts: 11688 | Registered: Mar 2008
twisted
♂ Member
Member # 8873
Default  Posted: 8:49 AM, April 24th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bumping
Free exodus!


"Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

Posts: 893 | Registered: Nov 2005 | From: Oklahoma
confused615
♀ Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 9:16 AM, April 24th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Free Exodus!!



BS(me)42
FWH 45
4 kids..21,20,11,10
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Reconciling.

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7492 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
Topic Posts: 80
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