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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Finally telling him off
StillLivin
♀ Member
Member # 40229
Default  Posted: 10:46 PM, April 14th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I was reading another post here about finally telling the WS off after D is final and chips have fallen helter skelter.
I have had so many fantasy conversations telling him off for this or that. Was starting to think I would never stop those obsessive thoughts.
Today, he avoided service for D papers.
I realized it had been several weeks since I had one of those fantasies. I imagined him coming back and begging me to let him come home.
I couldn't even work up the energy to fantasize about telling him off. I just imagined me saying one word, "NO!"
Then closing the door.
No cussing, no big scene, no slamming the door even.
Is this the beginning of indifference, when you just don't care to tell him all the things you worked so hard to stay NC for????


I don't need further confirmation of what a fuckwit he is. I already have plenty, thanks very much. -SBB
D: 7/2/2014

Posts: 2334 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: AZ
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 11:45 PM, April 14th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I remember a post of tesla's where she said something like she reached a point where she didn't want to tell him all the ways that he was a failure because that would be giving him an opportunity for growth on the back of her insight.

I realised I didn't want to give him all of the lessons I had learned in the firestorm and ashes of my M.

Breaking your give-a-fuck is a big step towards healing. I don't care to give him a piece of my mind or any part of me anymore. He is undeserving.


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5609 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
Abbondad
♂ Member
Member # 37898
Default  Posted: 3:51 AM, April 15th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I totally get it. I have those fantasies at least once a day--great dramatic scenes packed with biting one-liners and ending with me strolling nonchalantly away and leaving her in tears.

But I know it would not matter--even if I did. It would not penetrate these people's sense of entitlement and justification for their misdeeds. I think we just cannot conceive of the mental gymnastics and defensive walls they have erected around themselves.

These fantasies have, however, greatly diminished. I used to be plagued by them hourly. So I guess that suggests I am on my way to indifference. But damn, that clock moves slowly.


Divorced April Fool's Day 2014

Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
-Dune


Posts: 1627 | Registered: Dec 2012
Topic Posts: 3

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