"The desire to love someone always exceeds the desire to be loved by someone & that's exactly why we end up loving the person who doesn&
Time will tell.
But..you are correct..you need answers..on your timeline..and he needs to give them to you.
It's unfair that he shut down because you cried. You are going to cry. And, as uncomfortable as it may be for him, he must see it..he must see your pain..he needs to know exactly what this has done to you...and he needs to learn how to help you during these times. Shutting down means he is putting his needs before yours...and he's done that more than enough.
..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.
It slowly got easier though and we found a better way to discuss the A. In the begining though I would save it all up for MC because it was the only place we could discuss it without causing more conflict.
I do believe that your needs should come first and that in an ideal world he would be an open book about all the details you wanted to know. He should be forthcoming and direct when answering your questions but the truth is that I don't think many WS are at first. There are too many awful emotions tied up in the facts.
I hope MC goes well tonight, I remember the first few sessions being so raw.
Buuut... it was a process. Getting to the point where he could respond without defensiveness and self pity was definitely a struggle for both of us. It took a lot of work and patience.
I hope MC goes well.
It helped my husband, and made him a little more willing to answer the questions, to know that even when I was asking the questions and hurting,on the other side of the pain of the answer, there would be some healing for me.
He got frustrated, because my questions would point out how truly disastrous his decisions were, and how selfish the A was.
Good luck with MC - I have found mine is invaluable (and by the way-so does my husband).
((broken)) Hope everything works out the way it should for you.