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User Topic: Figurative slap to the head
GotMyLifeBck2013
♂ Member
Member # 40531
Default  Posted: 12:33 PM, April 15th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We've all experienced the utter stupidity of our wayward spouses or ex spouses...sometimes they can say such mind numbing dumb things you have to laugh. Other times you just feel the urge to slap them in the head. Seriously, theres nothing funny about the comment but you just want to shake them over how ludicrous it is...my favorite, "ill never do that again"...first, every drunk and drug user has said that a million times, its the weakest attempt at self control in the world, and never is an unattainable height...its also self absolving, if the commitment is back for the wayward they can feel whole again, theyve recommitted and everyone can see theyre serious now. Finally, its such an insult...you DID cheat. It doesnt make it okay to simply wash the mistake away by saying you wont do it again. Big deal. Focus on why you chose to be such an empty soul and harm others. So whats your head slapper?


I define me! I don't just survive, I thrive!!

Me: fBH 46
Her: exWW 42
DDay: Nov 1, 2012
Divorced: September 17, 2013


Posts: 289 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Ohio
justinpaintoday
♂ Member
Member # 42858
Default  Posted: 12:49 PM, April 15th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"It was Just Sex"

Thanks for belittling our many years of M with just sex


I never realized you could be in this much pain and not be dying.

Posts: 700 | Registered: Mar 2014
kbl1301
♀ Member
Member # 42985
Default  Posted: 12:56 PM, April 15th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I posted this somewhere else, but its kind of original so to speak.

After finding a topless pic of a mutual friend in his phone, he tells me

"its just boobs, everybody has boobs"

He really seen no problem with him having this pic. I on the other hand did.


Posts: 69 | Registered: Apr 2014
HFSSC
♀ Member
Member # 33338
Default  Posted: 1:36 PM, April 15th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have two that compete in my memory for the "stupid prize".

First one: after dday # GodOnlyKnows, after a ONS, an online A, an EA, another A, false R and final blow up, he came to the house one morning and said, "Please, don't give up on us. Please just give me one chance to make it right."

Yes, I actually did R with him after that, following his successful surgery to remove his head from his ass.

Then, we were discussing going somewhere and maybe not taking our boys. He was wanting to bring the younger one and said, "You don't know what it's like to be apart from your son and miss him so much."

I said, "No, but I know what it's like to hold him every night while he cries until he throws up because he misses his dad so much and wants to know why Daddy can't come home. Trade ya!"


Me, 47
Him, 40 (JMSSC)
married 17 years. In R. We are making it. The past does not define who we are today.

Posts: 2787 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: South Carolina
GotMyLifeBck2013
♂ Member
Member # 40531
Default  Posted: 1:39 PM, April 15th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Justin...right! That one baffled me as well...


I define me! I don't just survive, I thrive!!

Me: fBH 46
Her: exWW 42
DDay: Nov 1, 2012
Divorced: September 17, 2013


Posts: 289 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Ohio
GotMyLifeBck2013
♂ Member
Member # 40531
Default  Posted: 1:55 PM, April 15th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Another one that blew me away was her telling me she was going through a lot of pain too..."you dont know how hard it is to break up with someone."

One of the all time great deal breakers for me. Couldnt talk for a week after that one. Really? Unfreakin believable.


I define me! I don't just survive, I thrive!!

Me: fBH 46
Her: exWW 42
DDay: Nov 1, 2012
Divorced: September 17, 2013


Posts: 289 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Ohio
PositiveAttitude
♀ Member
Member # 40624
Default  Posted: 2:00 PM, April 15th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The two phrases that WH uttered in this entire situation that still have me shaking his head were:

"I don't understand why you and OW continue to try to be mean to and hurt each other."

I was just living MY life and offering MY WH the chance to R - OW was the emotionally insecure couldn't actually get my WH to leave me woman who wouldn't leave well enough alone. Granted since her social media pages were at the time the only place I was getting even the slightest semblance of the truth - she was certainly trying to hurt me. Except more times than not I was able to foil their plans because of her premature postings. :-)

or my ALL time Favorite:

"Maybe we should just D now while we can still be friends - you know before we hate each other."

I think my response was "You are talking about abandoning me, our children, our home and our life for a woman who can't outshine my faintest candle with a million lumen spotlight and you think I won't HATE you?"

Or my other favorite - "Even if I move across the country and see them when I can - I'll always be their Daddy." Got that one straight from OW's mouth apparently.

Yes, my WH was a very foggy man!


Posts: 190 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From:
Lovedyoumore
♀ Member
Member # 35593
Default  Posted: 2:14 PM, April 15th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

There is pretty good evidence that OW came into our house while I was out of town and she knew my H was at work. When I told my H that it probably happened and why I believed it happened, he was shaken and said...."I do not think she would do that". Yep, she has the morals to screw a married man, talk about their future together while the wife is clueless, but he cannot believe she would come into our house to snoop. She would not stoop to that. Whatever.


Me 52
WH 52
Married 30+ years
Together trying to R

I tell people I am tired but really my heart is broken and I am sad.


Posts: 1527 | Registered: May 2012 | From: Southern, bless your heart
Lovedyoumore
♀ Member
Member # 35593
Default  Posted: 2:16 PM, April 15th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh, and the night I think she came into our house, she accessed his FB page and put herself into his family list. But, she would never enter our house to snoop.


Me 52
WH 52
Married 30+ years
Together trying to R

I tell people I am tired but really my heart is broken and I am sad.


Posts: 1527 | Registered: May 2012 | From: Southern, bless your heart
imagoodwitch
♀ Member
Member # 23375
Default  Posted: 2:31 PM, April 15th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

On the morning of DDay, I told WS to choose, either me or OW and he said, I shit you not, "well isn't it obvious who I choose?"

Um, no it isn't obvious, you see, I just read your emails back and forth and I am a little perplexed to say the least

Also, when it was disclosed that it was a full on PA, I exclaimed "OMG! What if she's pregnant?!?!?!" WS said "she's on the pill, she can't get pregnant" to which I replied "what if she is lying about being on the pill in order to trap you with a OC?" WS's reply......... "she would never lie to me!".


I am just your ordinary average everyday sane psycho supergoddess - Liz Phair

Don't keep dancing with the Devil and wonder why you are still in Hell.

It's all shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits.


Posts: 5450 | Registered: Mar 2009 | From: Munchkinland
Lovedyoumore
♀ Member
Member # 35593
Default  Posted: 3:14 PM, April 15th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ima.....I got that, too. What if she is pregnant? They NEVER used std protection. She got the pill after they started the PA. I asked how do you know she took them? "I told her I did not want her to get pregnant." So? How do you know she took them? "She would not do that. She knew what I wanted." Right, buster. She was so moral and all.


Me 52
WH 52
Married 30+ years
Together trying to R

I tell people I am tired but really my heart is broken and I am sad.


Posts: 1527 | Registered: May 2012 | From: Southern, bless your heart
coldshot
♂ New Member
Member # 40882
Default  Posted: 3:31 PM, April 15th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"I didn't lie to him...he knew I was married."
Hmmm...
I'm glad your betrayal of our family was based on honesty towards your loser AP.
When given the ultimatum of immediate NC:
"I wish I could have two months to get it out of my system."
When discussing my insistence for counseling for DD6:
"I think pottery classes are more important than counseling right now."
Yeah.


"The liar's punishment is, not in the least that she is not believed, but that she cannot believe anyone else." -- George B. Shaw

Posts: 46 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: coldshot
SoVerySadNow
♀ Member
Member # 36711
Default  Posted: 3:50 PM, April 15th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

When I demanded to know the truth, mine said he felt "uncomfortable" discussing it. I explained that if I could deal with my discomfort in hearing the truth, that he just had to suck it up and talk.
He also said I wasn't ever supposed to know about it, and that he figured that what I didn't know wouldn't hurt me.


Me:BW
Him:WH
D-day(s),after years of TT and Gaslighting was Labor Day Weekend 2012, continuing for a week after. *Dammit! More TT 3/9/13
Really trending toward D- planning about it is my "happy place" now.

Posts: 1292 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Sunny Florida
Mindfully
♀ Member
Member # 42959
Default  Posted: 4:47 PM, April 15th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My head slapper didn't come from the SO (well, hasn't yet) but from the OW. When I found the email confirming his affair, my SO was at the OW's house. I raced over to her house in a rage and confronted him on her doorstep, at which point she very calmly looked at me and said: "Why don't you come in and have a drink." REALLY?

Posts: 70 | Registered: Mar 2014
Topic Posts: 14

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