I'm getting used, slowly, to being by myself. When I go to pick kids up I check my feelings toward her and the tank is empty, as much as I don't wish to be alone, I don't want to be with her. I am the sort of person who's trust, once gone, is very very difficult to regain. She has done nothing of her own to show remorse.
She has asked tonight about "are we still doing couples counselling?"
I have done IC, I know where I am, I know the journey has some way to go. I don't see the point in spending money on couples counselling - I don't see us being back together, I don't see any remorse from her. I believe I should answer her simply and directly that no, I am not looking at couples counselling and that I believe we should stay separated (and therefore single as never married). For some reason, I am feeling reticent to say this and it causes som anxiety to me. I'm not clear what the anxiety is....I'm trying to understand if anyone else has been in a similar position, what did you feel, do you know why you felt the way you did and what was the outcome?
Her: WW/57 Me: BS/63 24yrs M
3 great kids, now 22, 20, 17 b,b,g
D-Day 8/14/08, D 1/13/11
Yes she did cheat. She's done it twice now. Past behaviour being an indicator of future behaviour suggests she would again.
She asked a direct question, I have told her tonight that I would have to say no to couples counselling.
We're not married. The only legal pieces are the joint mortgage and child support. Since we are not married, there is no divorce, we are, in the eyes of the law, single people.
It's 180 all the way, children and money. I don't talk to her about things, life, work or anything else. She is not part of my life and I don't see her being part of it in the future. Yes, of course there is contact because of the children but that is all.
Try thinking of the big picture when this happens.
Good luck Lex71