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Newest Member: saltairnc (45082)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: visitation during separation
betrayedidiot
♀ Member
Member # 42868
Default  Posted: 8:57 PM, April 15th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My DD doesn't seem to want to sleep over at WH's new apartment. He says I should support him in needing time with her. I don't want to cause her more stress than necessary. Does anyone have advice?


Me: BS
Married almost 20 years
2 year EA and 1 month PA
DD-16
D-Day: 01/14/14
Separated and divorcing

Posts: 92 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: TX
Caretaker1
♂ Member
Member # 42777
Default  Posted: 8:59 PM, April 15th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes, coach her to try. It's important she has daddy time and needs to get used to transitions. I'm sure this divorce is stressful. Look into counseling for her also if you feel it is needed.

[This message edited by Caretaker1 at 9:35 PM, April 15th (Tuesday)]


Posts: 234 | Registered: Mar 2014
Leia
♀ Member
Member # 42510
Default  Posted: 9:19 PM, April 15th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I agree with Caretaker. My DD has had trouble sleeping at my place because I'm the one that moved and got different furniture. Let her know that it is ok to spend time with him at his house. I also checked out books at the library about D for the kids. It helped them to read about it and understand that things were going to be separate.


"Somebody get this walking carpet out of my way." Princess Leia, Star Wars

Posts: 296 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: Kansas
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 11:22 PM, April 15th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Why does she have to spend the night? Why make that the hill to die on? Good Lord, coerce a 16-year old to sleep over? Why? She's old enough to make that decision on her own, isn't she? Wouldn't it be better to let her set the terms?


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9715 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Bluebird26
♀ Member
Member # 36445
Default  Posted: 6:05 AM, April 16th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I agree if your DD is 16 why is she been made to go? Surely she is old enough to make that decision on her own.

Perhaps she is worried about leaving you alone? Perhaps she doesn't accept what WH has done?

My advice would be to get her into counselling, maybe her school can help you?


"Loving someone should not mean losing you. Love empowers you. It shouldn't erase you. - Thelma Davis.

Posts: 1349 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Australia
Sadmumma
♀ Member
Member # 42192
Default  Posted: 11:07 AM, April 16th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hmm... Should she be encouraged to have a relationship with her father... Absolutely....

Should she be forced to sleep over.. No.. Give it time, let her build her comfort zone in his new life.... It will come. By pushing her into it you could push her away.


On any given day you have the power to say "my story is not going to end like this"
Me 41 BS
Him 41 WH
6 kids...7 weeks, 5,7,9,11&13
D day jan 29th 2014

Posts: 536 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Land down under
Topic Posts: 6

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