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User Topic: How do u view ur ex
♀ Member
Member # 18222
Default  Posted: 10:24 AM, April 16th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I view him like a really rebellious 16 yr old. He doesn't take care of his responsibilities. He has impulse control issues. He wants to see the boys, but really babysits them more than parents. He gave up custody. He doesn't cook, he doesn't clean, he lives with whoever will take care of him, he doesn't keep jobs.

He basically does what he's told. If he's single he does what I tell him, when he isn't single I'm the meanest person on Earth and the source of all his problems and that's why he had to run away from home and he does whatever flavor of the week tells him to.

Me-29,Two boys, 10 and 9

It will all be ok in the end. If it's not ok, it's not the end

Happily remarried to a wonderful man (Aussie). I think I found the right guy and the right finger this time.

Posts: 4491 | Registered: Feb 2008 | From: Indiana
♀ Member
Member # 21634
Default  Posted: 2:19 PM, April 16th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I view him as a flawed character. I do not feel any old sentimental feelings or desire. I feel disgusted. I can no longer see what I saw in him.

He can NEVER look me in the eye. He says the strangest things. He repeats himself. I can tell he feels uncomfortable around me. It is really rather strange.

I don't hate him but I don't like him. I think we call that indifference!!! And I like that very much!!!!

BS - ME 43
WH 44
Married 20 years
DDay #1 12/28/07
DDay #2 9/18/08
DDay #3 12/28/08
Dday #4 11/18/10 (same OW)
Dday #5 8/22/12 (same OW)
2 beautiful daughters
"Love grows where it is nurtured and dies where it is not!"

Posts: 841 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: NJ
♀ Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 2:45 PM, April 16th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I view him as my third child.

me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17

"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings

Posts: 4186 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
♀ Member
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 4:09 PM, April 16th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I now view him as an empty shell that needs to be filled by someone else. I propped him up and, looking back, managed his image for years. With me beside him, he was the competent family man who had it all. Many people commented on how great they thought our relationship was.

When he called me and whined the other night about how CommandOwife needed to be represented in my son's family pictures, it initially angered me. Now, though, I see it for what it is-- he now looks to her for cues on how to behave, and she's happily leading him around by the nose. I doubt if it ever occurred to him how undignified and downright whipped he sounded when he called me to blabber about how his sidepiece is now a part of DS's family. He honestly sounded like he had gotten in trouble-- like his "mommy" had yelled at him and was making him call me to put me in my place (which you didn't, you sad sack).

I agree with what others have said on here. If the next guy I meet looks to me to define him, we're done. He has to be able to stand on his own two feet and not look to our relationship to give him a persona. I'm done with that. The next time I manage someone's image will be when I change careers and start working in PR.

BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3621 | Registered: Oct 2011
♀ Member
Member # 30341
Default  Posted: 10:09 AM, April 17th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How do I view my ex? Fortunately, we didn't have children together so I never have to view him in person. I've seen photos posted on my former sil's FB page and he looks "weird" in the photos. Lifeless eyes even though he's smiling, weird misshapen grin, hunched over. He looks like he has aged a decade in the three years. He looks ill...

What do I feel when I see these pictures? RELIEF!!!!!!!!!

[This message edited by better4me at 10:10 AM, April 17th (Thursday)]

DDay 11/17/2010 BW:52

Posts: 3213 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Iowa
♀ Member
Member # 33338
Default  Posted: 7:44 PM, April 17th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My X-wh? Preferably in the crosshairs of a really awesome sight on a really, really awesome rifle.

Oh, that's not what you meant???

Me, 47
Him, 40 (JMSSC)
married 17 years. In R. We are making it. The past does not define who we are today.

Posts: 2787 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: South Carolina
♀ Member
Member # 3903
Default  Posted: 7:54 PM, April 17th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

As a walking disease. I do not want him on my property. I dislike taking things he hands me because I find the idea of touching his flesh in the process abhorrent.

Yuck, just yuck.
For the most part I am so happy not to view him in any way and I am thankful that the divorce made this possible.

There is life on the other side of hell.

Posts: 1670 | Registered: Mar 2004
♀ Member
Member # 29250
Default  Posted: 8:20 PM, April 17th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He is a sad, weak, pathetic, selfish, narcissistic sorry excuse for a man. He's an aging wanna-be college frat boy, almost 42 year old bartender that didn't get the memo that he's middle aged. He has the emotional maturity of a 2 year old complete with the temper tantrums when he doesn't get his way. I am sad that my kids have to have him for a father and I am ashamed to know him. If he would kindly walk off the face of the earth the world would be a better place.

“People who cheat feel that life is for the taking, and that everyone deserves happiness no matter what the cost. I must remember these tricks if I ever have my soul surgically removed."
Me: BS 42. Him: WH 41 2 Kids 6&9
Married 14 yrs Together 21

Posts: 1575 | Registered: Aug 2010
♀ Member
Member # 34373
Default  Posted: 8:23 AM, April 18th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

...through the scope of a 30 ought 6 if I had the choice.

All kidding aside, like so many here, I see him as a child throwing a tantrum. I have also seen pictures of him since his new marriage began and there is no life in his eyes. He has no hope left and again, this is by his choice.

Me: 46 BS Divorced
Him: 45 Married OW
DDay: 07/04/2008
Divorced: 06/15/2011
5 kids: IrishLass 27,IrishLad 25, IrishLass 23, IrishLad 21 and IrishLad 12
"You can't run from trouble..there ain't no place that far"

Posts: 1778 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: WA
♀ Member
Member # 27148
Default  Posted: 6:44 PM, April 18th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

A sick F*ck that only thinks of himself and leaves a trail of destruction wherever he goes.

Don’t get to the end of your life and find that you lived only the length of it; live the width of it as well. 

Posts: 2715 | Registered: Jan 2010
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 6:56 PM, April 18th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I view him as a deeply flawed and sad man. Except when I view him as a source of comic relief for you all.

You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana

Posts: 25777 | Registered: Aug 2011
♀ Member
Member # 42852
Default  Posted: 7:54 PM, April 18th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How do I view my ex?


This man gets to know he bailed on a promise and a vow.

This man gets to know the life he has built is built on the destruction of a promise he made with honor.

This man gets to raise 3 illegitimate kids with a woman knowing that she was willing to steal someone's husband to do so.

This man gets to know that he is viewed in society as a piece of shit for what he did to me.

This man gets to accept EVERY DAY that the vows he took with me and the promises he made to me were a joke. He gets to know that when he disgarded me, I went to a ditch and not a palace (FOR NOW). That realization has not fallen flat with him.

He knows he is a loser and a cheat. He knows that no matter what his 3 illegitmate brats grow up to believe about him, he IS and always WILL BE a loser.

That realization is enough for me.

Me 47
ExH 43
Divorced 2010

47 is the new year of treating myself better than I have in 6 years.

What ever doesn't kill me makes me stronger so long as I remember that

My favorite drink is no longer Guinness but water. Call me Dasani23

Posts: 592 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: Indiana
♀ Member
Member # 38378
Content  Posted: 10:08 PM, April 25th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I get out the Chlorox Wipes after he collects kids and wipe anything he was near.

Ashland 13

You gave me nothing and now it's all I've got - Bono

A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess

Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.

-George Washington

Posts: 2302 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 10:42 PM, April 25th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Last time I saw XH I walked right past him and sat right behind him- I didn't recognize him till my kids acknowledged him. Even then I was like who's the old guy they're talking to?

XSO was just posted in a mutual friends Easter pic on FB, he looks the same, grayer. I haven't seen him in almost 2 years. Our friend ( older than him) looks about 10-15 years younger.

Feelings.... Meh!

I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5284 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
Sad in AZ
♀ Member
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 12:18 AM, April 26th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Through a wide angle lens; he's gotten rather heavy

I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 20292 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
♂ Member
Member # 40173
Default  Posted: 7:35 AM, April 26th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She's a bully that plays the victim.

Me: BH, 39
Her: WW, 40
Together 18 years, married 15+
LTA 3.5 years, ongoing
Dday: 7/28/13
Divorcing, 3 children
"There can be no friendship without confidence, and no confidence without integrity." -S

Posts: 725 | Registered: Aug 2013
solus sto
♀ Member
Member # 30989
Default  Posted: 11:47 AM, April 27th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This does vary a bit depending on the day. But mostly, I simply do not recognize him; he is a stranger. Even physically, I don't recognize him-- his appearance has completely changed.

It's really odd to realize you've spent decades with someone you never knew on a deeper level than how he preferred his eggs.

BS-me, 52
WH (Trac-fone), 53, PD
2 kids-DD25, DS18
multiple d-days
Alone, most strangely, I live on~Rupert Brooke

Posts: 8857 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: midwest
♀ Member
Member # 34722
Default  Posted: 12:39 PM, April 27th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He once came to the house shortly after DDay and told me that "we need to talk", then didn't say anything for a few minutes. I thought to myself during that time that he looked like a sad puppy. But I quickly mentally corrected that to what I knew was the truth about him.

He is really a *sick* puppy who found willing women wherever he could, like Craigslist ads for casual, anonymous sex. And who M one slut but still had a dating profile online with messages from women that somehow showed up on my computer when I googled someone else, TWICE, searching different names months apart. And the second time they were new messages and the old ones had been read. I guess I should have tried to figure out his password.

Finding what life could have been....... Why didn't I see it?

Posts: 2388 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: the Other Side
Topic Posts: 38
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