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Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: AP broke NC
Gardenerinpain
♀ New Member
Member # 42323
Sad  Posted: 9:10 AM, April 16th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

FWH established NC in mid February via email. AP left 5 voice mails (3 min.each) on Monday. FWH has left them on his phone in case I want to hear them.
Says she has only 18 months to live.
The background is PA ended 10/12 but EA continued until I don't know when. I moved out Sept 2013 and bought a house. NC with FWH, except a few phone calls until mid Jan this year. We met and he was the man I married, the fog was finally gone. We have been in R since then though living separately. I guess we are dating? R is going well up to now.
However, while we were not in contact AP found out she had breast cancer and wanted FWH to take her to appts and be with her for surgery(masectomy and lumpectomy), etc. KISA again!
Once we got back together, she told him she didn't need him to help her with the surgery (end of Jan), although she kept calling him. As a precondition to R, I had told FWH that all contact had to stop and he complied. He finally seemed to get that my feelings should come before hers.
We don't know if she is really dying or what and FWH says he doesn't care. The AP seems to have BP disorder and is a real loony as well. As a minor example she once yelled over the phone to me that "your husband has betrayed me!"
Anyway, I guess my question is what to do now?


Me: BS 60
He: F?WH 71
OW: 70
Married 32 years.
DDay March 2012
Separated since September 2013.
Trying to reconcile.

I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
William Ernest Henley


Posts: 39 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: South
Rebreather
♀ Member
Member # 30817
Default  Posted: 9:14 AM, April 16th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You do nothing. Well, block her number. That's it.


Me BS
Him WH
2 ddays in '07
Recovering.
"The cure for the pain, is the pain." -Rumi

Posts: 6549 | Registered: Jan 2011
karmahappens
♀ Member
Member # 35846
Default  Posted: 9:18 AM, April 16th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I agree with Rebreather.

She needs to find her own support system if she is seriously ill. The days of borrowing yours are over.

If she isn't dying it is a cruel, shitty ploy.


“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaïs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd

Posts: 3845 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Massachusetts
bionicgal
♀ Member
Member # 39803
Default  Posted: 9:22 AM, April 16th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yep - block. She doesn't exist. I am sorry if she is alone or unhappy, but that is her life. You have yours.

[This message edited by bionicgal at 11:44 AM, April 16th (Wednesday)]


me - BS (40s)
DDay - June 2013, A was 2+ months, EA then PA
In MC & Reconciling
An affair is a personal crisis, not a relationship.

I edit, therefore I am.


Posts: 2058 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: USA
Gardenerinpain
♀ New Member
Member # 42323
Default  Posted: 10:08 AM, April 16th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you all for telling me what I knew inside Please wish us a good future as I do for everyone here. I only found SI about a month ago. I sure wish I had found it a lot, lot sooner. Bless you all!


Me: BS 60
He: F?WH 71
OW: 70
Married 32 years.
DDay March 2012
Separated since September 2013.
Trying to reconcile.

I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
William Ernest Henley


Posts: 39 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: South
4everfaithful83
♀ Member
Member # 41761
Default  Posted: 12:02 PM, April 16th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Don't just block her number, have him change his phone number AND then block her number. There's no reason for her to be able to contact you or your WH at all.


Always know if the juice is worth the squeeze...

ME: 31
WBF: 27
Together 7 years
1 doggie
DDay: June 24, 2013
IN R...


Posts: 565 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: Pennsylvania
Topic Posts: 6

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