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Newest Member: jdubb80 (44703)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Anxious
hope2014
♀ New Member
Member # 42707
Default  Posted: 1:02 PM, April 16th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My STBXH and I have negotiated the terms of our dissolution. I retained counsel weeks ago and she is in the process of drafting documents. He originally said that he would retain counsel only to review the final documents because it could not afford to pay for an attorney to do any more than that.

He provided me with the name of his counsel. Unfortunately, my counsel has stated that his counsel has a tendency to be argumentative and may slow things down. I believe I am being more than fair in the settlement terms and am prepared to fight for those terms (through counsel, of course), but I'm feeling anxious about the entire situation. His first meeting with this counsel was today. I'm praying that things move forward smoothly and any issues can be (and are) resolved quickly. With a bit of luck, we should be divorced by the beginning of June.


Me - BS; 35
Him - WH; 34
Married - 15 years
2 Kids - Agess 3 and 6
DDay - 2/26/14

Posts: 49 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: Ohio
norabird
♀ Member
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 1:04 PM, April 16th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((hope2014))))

Step by step. You're moving forward, focus on that. Part of it is out of your hands, so accept that as much as you can, and focus on doing the best with your end of things.


Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4086 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
one2ndchance
♀ Member
Member # 14759
Default  Posted: 1:53 PM, April 16th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He originally said that he would retain counsel only to review the final documents because it could not afford to pay for an attorney to do any more than that

If this is how your stbx feels, even though his lawyer may be argumentative, stbx may realize that arguing costs money. If it's a fair agreement, he may just tell his L he's ok with it. Let's think positive


Me: BW 59
Him: STBXWH 61
Married: 25 years
DDay1: 2/2002; DDay2: 6/2012
Gave him his second chance and he blew it.
Divorcing

Posts: 479 | Registered: May 2007 | From: California
hope2014
♀ New Member
Member # 42707
Default  Posted: 3:05 PM, April 16th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks, one. You are right. I need to think positively and not assume the worst. I've unfortunately learned to be a glass is half-empty sorta girl. Something to work on . . .


Me - BS; 35
Him - WH; 34
Married - 15 years
2 Kids - Agess 3 and 6
DDay - 2/26/14

Posts: 49 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: Ohio
devistatedmom
♀ Member
Member # 24961
Default  Posted: 5:14 PM, April 16th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hope, you know he's all about the cash, and won't want to spend money on arguing. He probably will come back and question something his L brings up. If it's something you believe is proper, and you aren't willing to change, use his lack of wanting to spend to your advantage.

"No, I think that clause is proper. It's what the state agrees is fair, and I believe it's what I deserve, but, if you want to go to court over it, go at it."

Say it very calmly and evenly. Look him in the eye. Then walk away. Chances are, he will let it go when he sees you aren't just going to agree.

Even though he has an argumentative L, they can only argue if the client says go for it.


BS(me) 46, Two wonderful teens.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.

WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.


Posts: 5418 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Canada
Topic Posts: 5

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