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Newest Member: doihavechoice (44727)

New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: SO is saying I'm making a mistake by leaving him
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 9:29 PM, April 17th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Can you sleep somewhere else from this point forward? Do you realize how entirely creepy it is that he seems to have decided that you don't get to break up with him?


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9532 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
idkam
♀ Member
Member # 18375
Default  Posted: 10:14 PM, April 17th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

NG: he's not a violent person but he can be a bully some times but I'm not afraid of him... I'm a bit crazier than he is and he knows that..


People come into your life for a Reason, Season or a Lifetime..
Divorced

Posts: 1783 | Registered: Feb 2008 | From: Texas
idkam
♀ Member
Member # 18375
Default  Posted: 11:30 AM, April 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My SO is begging and pleading with me and yes i find myself swaying a bit..we've been together over 4 years.. I really wished i had not opened my mouth until i had my ducks in a row and ready to walk away...he told me he wanted me to pay half the rent, and my car note and insurance...he said i had been taking advantage of him all these years by letting him pay my bills.... I reminded him that he asked me if he can help me in that way...I told him now he is trying to make it hard for me to leave him and this is what i expected so whatever...
I left and went to the gym and when i got back i told him that i would be looking into getting my own cell phone plan..

I've been sleeping on the couch since last week... Yesterday while i was in the living room with the TV off i could hear him crying but i did not go into the bedroom where he was....he comes out of the bedroom and asked what type of car note i wanted to pay and i said $350 and he said well i will pay 300 of your car note and you can pay the rest... I said to him i appreciate that..

to be clear our agreement when i got the car was he was buying it for me....I'm trying to trade it in for a smaller one and hopefully less money...


People come into your life for a Reason, Season or a Lifetime..
Divorced

Posts: 1783 | Registered: Feb 2008 | From: Texas
momentintime
♀ Member
Member # 16394
Default  Posted: 4:06 PM, April 22nd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He is into control. He is manipulating you to stay. He isn't concerned about your doubts and you need for space. Instead he crowds you and pushes you for what he wants. He isn't letting you breathe. Take a step back. Even if you don't leave have some personal time for yourself. Make him back off with the full court press.

Once he sees you cave in, he will be back to his old ways. He hasn't changed anything about himself to show you a different future. He is just responding to the challenge of getting you to stay and still having control.


BS-me FWS - him
D-day 8/04
R'd

"Global editing disclaimer - I edit almost everything I post, and I am not going to post why every time."...re: Bionical girl


Posts: 2941 | Registered: Sep 2007 | From: New York
UndecidedinMA
♀ Member
Member # 33732
Default  Posted: 4:11 PM, April 22nd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Do not sway!! This guy is a manipulator. He is the guy who says "it will never happen again"

Believe Maya Angelou - when someone shows you who they are believe them.


I would also get any financials etc in writing. It is as simple as shooting him an email asking him to acknowledge the conversation and agreements.


ME - BSO
Him - FWSO
OW - DBC Xwife
DDAY 09/14/11 ONS w/DBCxWOW with 4 mos EA
Solidly in R

Posts: 1005 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: MA
idkam
♀ Member
Member # 18375
Default  Posted: 9:15 AM, April 23rd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks moment $ undec

You hit the nail on the head he's definitely controlling and manipulative....we've had a ton of conversations over the last few days...he sent me a text yesterday asking me to come back to the bedroom because he misses having someone to hug... I told him its funny he would say he miss hugging me when he hardly ever touches me when we are in bed, except of course when you are horny which is probably whats going on now.... He quickly responded " the last time i tried to touch your breast you asked me what was i doing.. i told him once again you are missing the point (we are talking about two diff things)...then he goes on to say he loved me and thought i loved him too....on and on. Then when he wasn't getting anywhere with me he finally said if you want to go just go I'm not gonna beg you anymore.....

I feel smothered around him its like he watches everything i do .... I need lots of space...

I have an appt on fri to check out an apt...
Wish me luck....


People come into your life for a Reason, Season or a Lifetime..
Divorced

Posts: 1783 | Registered: Feb 2008 | From: Texas
idkam
♀ Member
Member # 18375
Default  Posted: 9:40 AM, April 23rd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I walked into the bedroom this morning to go to the closet and he was sleeping on my side of the bed....i guess that was for my benefit....


People come into your life for a Reason, Season or a Lifetime..
Divorced

Posts: 1783 | Registered: Feb 2008 | From: Texas
Topic Posts: 27
Pages: 1 · 2

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