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Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: It is possible
WishIWas
♂ Member
Member # 37709
Default  Posted: 4:09 PM, April 16th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi everyone,

It's been a very long time since I've posted anything, and I'm very happy to inform you that my wife and I are still together, and are still in the best marraige we have ever been in the whole time we've been together. It is possible to recover, it is possible to be happy, and it is possible to move on.

You must set your expectations. You will never again have the marraige that you once had. It could be better, it could be worse, but you have to realize that any type of Chase after what you once had is energy that you could spend much more wisely. I look at me before her ONS, and I see someone who could have been more and done more, and I see the same in her. We didn't have what it took, and I left the window open, and someone snuck in. The blame isn't on just one person in my case, although I don't take blame for what she did. I do take responsibility for not being present and showing her how important she truly was.

If you can realize that it is possible to have something better, but not the same as what you had, the doors to any future you want are opened wide. It took a long time to realize that. I am a fixer, and I kept trying to put all of the pieces back in their places. No matter how I tried, I could not get the same feeling back that I once had. I truly suffered during this time and thought I would hurt the other guy or myself.

Over the past few months, I've realized that I don't want what I had. I want what I have. She is 100% committed to me, and I am to her. We hold each other, and see each other, more than we ever did.

I still feel pain, I still require a stiff drink every once in a while, but I realize that it will keep getting better. It's been 16 months since we recommitted, 18 months since I found out, and 31 months since it happened. Those who have been there will say that I'm still in the infancy of my healing process, and I completely agree.

I am hopeful that my path continues to improve, and that this bump in the road eventually becomes too hard to see in the rear view mirror.

Good luck everyone,


Me: BH 35
Ws: WW 35
Married 15 years
In Recovery
DDay: Don't know the date, very blurry. Oct 2012 though, after the 20th and before the 31st.

Posts: 81 | Registered: Dec 2012
Skan
♀ Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 5:24 PM, April 16th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so glad that your path, your life, is going so well for you. For the two of you. I'm at the 22 month marker after DDay, and I love the life that I have now so much more, than the life I had 2 years ago, 3 years ago, 4 years ago. As you say, there are days when a stiff drink is required, where the scars ache, but I would not go back to what was then ever.

May we all continue to improve.


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4857 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
4everfaithful83
♀ Member
Member # 41761
Default  Posted: 6:07 PM, April 16th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you for sharing! Wonderful post!


Always know if the juice is worth the squeeze...

ME: 31
WBF: 27
Together 7 years
1 doggie
DDay: June 24, 2013
IN R...


Posts: 565 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: Pennsylvania
RomanticInnocenc
♀ Member
Member # 43041
Default  Posted: 6:14 PM, April 16th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you for sharing!! It is really great to read some positivity in the reconciliation forum! I think it is so necessary for those of us who are looking for some hope that our WS have or can change if they choose to.


Me: BS 31
WH: 29 (theseseatsRtaken)
DS: 6 months old
Together 10 years, married 2.
DD1: 8th of Jan 2014
DD2: 10th of Jan 2014
NC: 8th of Jan
In hopeful R!

Posts: 308 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: Australia
Topic Posts: 4

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