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Newest Member: Questiounanswere (45696)

Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: I can't cope.
♀ Member
Member # 33806
Default  Posted: 10:20 AM, April 17th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am curious as to why you have to formally evict him if this house was yours to begin with..
If it is a lease without option to buy when does your renewal come up?
If indeed the house is a rental or lease and the renewal comes up in less than 90 days, maybe it would be better if you could leave and let him be stranded there without electricity, food, running water, etc..

[This message edited by doggiediva at 10:24 AM, April 17th (Thursday)]

Don't tie your happiness to the tail of somebody else's kite

Posts: 1336 | Registered: Nov 2011
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 10:57 AM, April 17th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You need to contact an attorney immediately. Today. Go through Legal Aid if you must, but find out your legal rights.

In the mean time, assuming you can't kick him out today, I think you should change his circumstances there in your home right away. Raise his rent. Put his belongings in the basement or garage. Make him sleep on the couch or floor in the laundry room. Do you get what I'm saying? He doesn't get to live in comfort in your home anymore. He no longer has access to the kitchen. Lock everything down with padlocks if you have to. Make his life a living hell. Considering that he was going to dump you, I should think you'd find a great sense of healing in doing this. I would go so far as to turn the water off to the showers/tubs so that he has to go to the gym or YMCA to get clean.

Put a deadbolt on your bedroom and put everything you value in there. Move your furniture in there. Put the TV, computer & phones in there. Shut him out of every possible modern convenience.

Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!

Posts: 9999 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
♀ New Member
Member # 43138
Default  Posted: 3:49 PM, April 17th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You all are amazing! Thank you so much. I already had him living out of boxes and sleeping on the couch. When I get home from work I am going to take all the food he likes out of the house and replace it with stuff he wont eat. I have to feed the kids, so I was still cooking and he was still eating. I am also going to disconnect the cable from the living. I didnt think to do any of these things.
He cant live with the OW for a couple of reasons. 1. He won't have a car because he drives one of mine and I won't let him take it. 2. She and her two 20 something age children are all out of work and homeless. They sleep in a shelter at night and walk the streets by day.
That's part of the reason I dont understand his thinking. He is leaving a stable home, access to a car and All of us work (including my kids.) It makes no sense.
I have an appt with a lawyer for tomorrow to find out about starting the eviction process. I am mostly ok while I'm at work. But soon I will be heading home for the night and thats when I can't control my emotions.

Posts: 3 | Registered: Apr 2014
♀ Member
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 3:58 PM, April 17th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It makes no sense.

You are right. It doesn't. It never will, either. You can't make sense out of nonsense, and that's what his thought and actions are.

This guy sounds like a parasite and you are going to have a far better life with him gone. Right now, the pain may be overwhelming--but better times are ahead.

Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4203 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
♂ Member
Member # 36857
Default  Posted: 4:37 PM, April 17th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ask the lawyer about all of this. Can you change the locks and not give him a key. If so, do that and then move somewhere for a week and then move back. If not, move somewhere else (where he won't know where you are) while the eviction process starts and then have the electricity, phone and water turned off, until further notice by you.

Me: BH 58.........Her: WW 45
DD: 8..........DS: 5
Married for six years.
DDay: 12-25-11 Divorced: 7-15-12
"It's like a nightmare within a nightmare, which in and of itself is a nightmare!"

Posts: 966 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: U.S.A.
Topic Posts: 25
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