Asking for some advice here, since I value the thoughts and opinions of so many on SI. Here is the situation.
OW sent a private FB message to my best friend today and of course, best friends wants to reply. But here is the thing, OW doesn't know the person she messaged is my best friend, and the message had nothing to do with the A or me, at least not to OW. It does to my best friend though. Let me explain.
Last year, OW opened a fitness studio and has a FB business page for this studio. About 6 or 7 months ago, after a brazen move by OW at a local 15K that my H and I were running (half way through she and her son passed us and planted themselves directly in front of us, arms length away. No one else was around. Out of hundreds of people she appears out of nowhere and flaunts herself in front of us. We had no idea she was even there), my bestie, after hearing this race story, went to check out the OW's FB business page. And, as OW was begging for studio ratings, bestie rated it. She gave it a 1 star rating. Zero stars was not an option. She told me what she did, we had a little harmless that's what she deserves' moment and then thought nothing more of it. Well, today, probably 6 months later, bestie gets a message inquiring as to why she gave the studio a 1 star rating and wondering how she can improve things if there is anything she can do to provide a better experience, offering a free class, etc. Bestie, (who is also a BS who divorced her WH because he was a remorseless jerk), had a million responses in her head she wanted to fire off, but instead called me to ask what I wanted her to do.
Let me just say that I am only several weeks from 5th antiversary of DD1. H and I are in R. We have both had IC and MC. FWH has been a model FW since DD2 (about 4 1/2 years), but in all honesty, the trauma has left me pretty scarred. Coincidently, today and this weekend are some pretty painful trigger dates. Actually the next few weeks are full of triggers, so OW is once again in my thoughts. Other then several unfortunate same place/same time encounters (the race, a bridal shower, a wedding, a strange encounter at a childrens water park....) there has been NC by all parties.
In fact, I have never spoken to her in person and other then one message on DD1 a couple of texts on DD2, I have had no communication with her at all. That said, there are actually many things I would like to have said to her. I always took the "ignore" route. Bestie now has the opportunity to "call her out" on her behavior, to say some things I never took the opportunity to say, I guess. In a way I'd like OW to know that other people know what she did. We work in the same field and have many mutual friends and colleagues and the A was never revealed. OW got to flitter on with her life, unscathed, at least socially.
So all that said, my question to you all is, what would you have your friend do? It has been 4 1/2 years since NC. Should she speak her mind and reply to the OW? Would you have her ignore? I suspect OW is struggling to build her business and it's driving her nuts that she got a 1 star rating.
I really wish I was at the point of indifference. OP was literally the vehicle H used to take a vacation from reality. Sadly, I'm still struggling with that.