It's been a little bit since I've posted. I was doing so well with the 180 and it all came crashing down this past Monday when my WH had to stop by to sign our tax papers.
He was here for an hour and we had some emotional discussion, but nothing about fixing anything. He's still in the deep fog even after I told him that he may want to consider that there are two sides to every story (based on what I've learned about the OW's family after talking to her BS). I know, he wasn't ready to hear anything. I didn't tell him the other side of the story, but just offered the suggestion that he might want to consider hearing it at some point.
Of course, I cried most of the time he was here and pointed out some valid arguments against things he's been saying about me (my never trusting him and leaving because my son moved back home...) Again, I know these are all excuses and fell on unwilling ears, but I just had to present the argument about how untrue either of those things are. He listened, though, and he cried too, and he didn't run immediately out the door like he used to when I tried to talk about our situation. However, in the end, he still walked out the door and just kept repeating that he was sorry.
I was doing so well and getting out with friends and actually enjoying myself from time to time over the past couple of weeks. Now all I want to do is cry and not leave the house. I'm also feeling like I want to try to contact him even though I know it's fruitless and will only cause me more pain. I have my phone in the other room so it's not right at my finger tips. Please remind me that I'm stronger than this moment.