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User Topic: How is your temper?
LivingLearning
♀ Member
Member # 42637
Default  Posted: 5:05 PM, April 20th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Since the A, I have found that I have become very short tempered about the smallest, most stupid stuff. For example, yesterday a container opened in my bag and a few items fell out in my bag. One fell to the bottom and I had to take almost everything out to get to it. It made me really upset. I mean really upset. I almost wanted to cry.

This was never me before. I was the person that let things slide all the time, nothing really frustrated me. I never understood people that would get anxious when things didn't turn out the way they thought. I could go with the flow. Now I am almost in tears over stuff falling out in my bag. Anyone else have this happen to them? Does an A change our psyche?


Living and learning how to move forward
Me: BGf
Him: WBf
Dday: 02/2013

Posts: 116 | Registered: Mar 2014
Breezy150
♀ Member
Member # 42421
Default  Posted: 5:13 PM, April 20th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am doing the same thing, I just don't have any patience anymore. I am wound up way too tight all the time, for me some anti anxiety meds have helped immensely, sometimes anxiety presents itself in many different ways.

Best of luck (((hugs)))


I am so disappointed when a liar's pants don't actually start on fire.

BS me 41
WH 42 his whore was my friend
Married 24 years
Finally finding R?
3 kids 3 grand kids
DDay 1 -Jan 2 2014
DDay 2 -Feb 20 2014 A went underground fo


Posts: 544 | Registered: Feb 2014
LivingLearning
♀ Member
Member # 42637
Default  Posted: 6:51 PM, April 20th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks Breezy. My IC has me to breathing techniques to calm myself down. They do help when I can actually convince myself to do them.


Living and learning how to move forward
Me: BGf
Him: WBf
Dday: 02/2013

Posts: 116 | Registered: Mar 2014
Breezy150
♀ Member
Member # 42421
Default  Posted: 9:03 PM, April 20th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That kind of stuff helps a lot too. Exercise they say helps tons, I haven't gotten to that yet. it does get better, every week I find myself being more patient and tolerant.

Make sure you are getting enough sleep, sleep deprivation makes everybody grumpy and irritable.


I am so disappointed when a liar's pants don't actually start on fire.

BS me 41
WH 42 his whore was my friend
Married 24 years
Finally finding R?
3 kids 3 grand kids
DDay 1 -Jan 2 2014
DDay 2 -Feb 20 2014 A went underground fo


Posts: 544 | Registered: Feb 2014
LivingLearning
♀ Member
Member # 42637
Default  Posted: 1:17 AM, April 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Make sure you are getting enough sleep, sleep deprivation makes everybody grumpy and irritable.

^^
Isn't that the truth! (my phone won't let me quote)


Living and learning how to move forward
Me: BGf
Him: WBf
Dday: 02/2013

Posts: 116 | Registered: Mar 2014
Ostrich80
Member
Member # 34827
Default  Posted: 1:43 AM, April 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have a pretty short fuse these days too...usually its days that I'm sleep deprived...just makes it worse. Mines not a mad like I I want to hurt someone, its more anger, than a good pity cry lol..why me??? Pretty pathetic and.I usually feel like a big baby afterwards

[This message edited by Ostrich80 at 1:44 AM, April 21st (Monday)]


BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank
Status..#$%@????

Posts: 5238 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: midwest
BeautifulEmpty
♀ Member
Member # 38763
Default  Posted: 4:36 AM, April 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Me too...I cry over everything, good or bad. I trigger constantly and I'm very irritable.
Usually, any and all of this ends in a pity rant or cry or both.
I'm sick of it.
I start to wonder if I ever had control over my emotions or has it just been so long, I can no longer remember?
Idk, I'm really tired of it,
I can't even have a conversation with my H without dissolving into upset. He isn't contributing to it any more. It just feels like what he did was enough for the rest of my stupid, ugly, upset life.


Me: 42 BS
Him: 38 ws
Ow: 44 head case, no obs
5 DD's: 21, 18, 17, 15, 10
Last D-day: August 2012 with lots of very blurry lines.

Posts: 264 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: Washington State
tl502
♀ Member
Member # 42607
Default  Posted: 7:29 AM, April 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I do have the same issues as well. I have gotten very careful about putting things away so I can find them easily. I always give myself longer than necessary for every task so I don't feel pressured by timelines because that seems to make it worse. I go for walks and have started reading more to relieve the stress. Allow yourself time to do things just for yourself, its the best gift you can give your family.


Married 30 yrs.
dd1 9/10/2011 ea/pa
DD2 3/25/2013 same ow, never stopped email and phone contact.
Putting the past behind us and moving forward together

Posts: 357 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: tl502
TheBestMe
♀ Member
Member # 39476
Default  Posted: 10:44 AM, April 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well, it's no secret that I have to work very hard at controlling my temper. In the past, my emotions were buried and stuffed inside. My mom is from the south and I was taught that a strong woman does not cry. She does what she has to do and keeps it moving. Even showing happiness was negative; "Don't always show your teeth".(people from Southern backgrounds know what I mean).

Through intensive work, I am getting comfortable in letting out my emotions. This infidelity stuff HURTS and I cry a lot.


ME Doing Better
WH Trying As Best He Can
Married 23 years
Status: Working towards friendship
D Day #1 - 2007 My gut told me
D Day #2 - 2010 His D told me
D Day #3 - 1/11/2013 OW Confirmed
LTA 7 years

Both feet pointed forward; positive


Posts: 499 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Inner Peace
LivingLearning
♀ Member
Member # 42637
Default  Posted: 10:26 PM, April 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ostrich80, agreed! Anger at things that I wouldn't normally be angry about.

((BeautifulEmpty)) Stay strong and remember to focus on yourself.

tl502, Going on walks are also my thing! They really help me to focus on what I am trying to get out of this whole thing.

TheBestMe, that is so hard to deal with, dealing with people that don't want you to show emotion. I hope they begin to see that sharing emotion is a good thing.


Living and learning how to move forward
Me: BGf
Him: WBf
Dday: 02/2013

Posts: 116 | Registered: Mar 2014
Losttransport
♀ Member
Member # 39409
Default  Posted: 10:46 PM, April 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My temper is sometimes close to the surface, but I bury it a lot. Sometimes it sneaks out as sarcasm, which is just anger in disguise. When I feel myself getting angry I just go to a quiet place and breathe, or journal, or stamp my feet, lol! Hey sometimes mommy needs a time out too :)


Me: BS-42
Hubby: FWS-42
OW: former friend of mine
EA from ? to 3-15-12
3 DD, 1 DS
Time heals all wounds-I do not agree.

Posts: 96 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Texas
cancuncrushed
♀ Member
Member # 28156
Default  Posted: 11:08 PM, April 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bad. Really bad.


a trigger yesterday

Posts: 1054 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: athome
Furious1
♀ Member
Member # 42970
Default  Posted: 5:19 AM, April 22nd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am much more emotional now, but my IC seems to think that is a good thing. Prior to D-day, I was very badly depressed (suspicious but had no proof and WH was gaslighting me).

IC has been more focused on getting me to let myself feel whatever I feel instead of turning it inward into more depression. I am sometimes scared of the power of my emotions and I am learning how to better handle them most of the time. I feel like an epic failure when I don't.


BW (me): 41 WH (him): 49
Married 19 years. SD: 26 from his 1st. M. DS: 21 from 1st M. DD: 17 (autistic)
D-day: 10/4/13 with ongoing TT (last TT was 10/2/14).
2 OC with 2 different OW. 7 year EA followed by 8 year PA with my sister.

Posts: 358 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: United States
Topic Posts: 13

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