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Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: fear, panic... but I wanted this!
mbbd
♀ Member
Member # 41828
Default  Posted: 7:23 PM, April 20th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My WH is taking a polygraph at our home on Tuesday. When the AP called me to tell me of the affair she said " He won't leave you, and it's hurt me so the only way I can hurt him back is to get to you. He told me he had another affair years ago so woman to woman, you should know who you are married to" My H says that he had lied to her on so many levels and this was a tremendous lie and not the truth at all. He says it was a fantasy to be the cassanova and be wanted. After 18 months of MC, I gave him an unltimatum that I want the polygraph. PERIOD. Now it's here and I am totally panicked. I was told the examiner will interview me and make sure that we word the questions to ensure that I don't feel that I left something out. This whole thing has me shaking. Please tell me what questions you asked if you did a poly.
My H had initially declined doing this at all and now he says he gets why I need it. Our efforts toward R are going so well but I don't know what I will do if it comes back that there was indeed a prior affair. He is afraid of a false positive and relies on the theory that they aren't admissible in court for a reason/ I say that if the situation were reversed that I would not fear a false positive. I would run for the test if it would relieve some of the pressure from him. Your comments are so appreciated. I haven't posted my full story on my profile but could really use the support on this one.

Posts: 58 | Registered: Dec 2013
rachelc
♀ Member
Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 7:29 PM, April 20th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's my opinion this is exactly what you need. Please go through with it for your own sake


his Ddays: 2/10, 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12

me: 48
him: 51
4 kiddos in lower 20's

“Slide the weight from your shoulders and move forward. You are afraid you might forget, but you never will. You will forgive and remember."


Posts: 4469 | Registered: Dec 2010
mbbd
♀ Member
Member # 41828
Default  Posted: 8:42 PM, April 20th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Going through with it is definite. Asking the right questions and facing the outcome are my issues... but thank you for the nod of strength.

[This message edited by mbbd at 8:43 PM, April 20th (Sunday)]


Posts: 58 | Registered: Dec 2013
Skan
♀ Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 9:00 PM, April 20th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Do it. You will regret not doing it, IMO.


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4550 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
mbbd
♀ Member
Member # 41828
Default  Posted: 7:27 AM, April 22nd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

and the polygrapher is coming in 2 hours and I'm still not sure I feel like my list of questions is all I want. How maddening is this! Did any of you get satisfaction after a polygraph?

Posts: 58 | Registered: Dec 2013
mbbd
♀ Member
Member # 41828
Default  Posted: 7:27 AM, April 22nd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

[This message edited by mbbd at 7:54 AM, April 22nd (Tuesday)]


Posts: 58 | Registered: Dec 2013
karmahappens
♀ Member
Member # 35846
Default  Posted: 8:43 AM, April 22nd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Fingers crossed that this brings you relief.

(((hugs)))


“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaïs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd

Posts: 3763 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Massachusetts
mbbd
♀ Member
Member # 41828
Default  Posted: 10:51 AM, April 22nd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Done. Went very well. No prior affair. I feel like this was a wonderful step toward my healing. I feel like I do know all that I can from the past and can look with clearer vision toward the future.

Posts: 58 | Registered: Dec 2013
karmahappens
♀ Member
Member # 35846
Default  Posted: 10:55 AM, April 22nd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Phew!!!

Good for you for having the strength to do this.

Kudos to your husband for taking it.

One great step forward (((hugs)))


“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaïs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd

Posts: 3763 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Massachusetts
mbbd
♀ Member
Member # 41828
Default  Posted: 2:42 PM, April 22nd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

thank you, karmahappens, your support was so appreciated.

Posts: 58 | Registered: Dec 2013
Topic Posts: 10

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