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Newest Member: SoLostStillNumb (44248)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: rofr
Klove
♀ Member
Member # 42096
Default  Posted: 11:57 AM, April 23rd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Why do I want child support?
Ummmm...
For my kids?
So they can stay accustomed to the lifestyle that we have provided them together when we are no longer together?
Because he makes double what I do and I should not have to be burdened with trying to provide that lifestyle without money from him?
Because he has already proved himself to be capable of making decisions not in the best interest of his family- so I want it in writing in the event that he, oh I dunno, pops out another kid with OW and then totally ignores our kids (I can see that happening...)

Why do I think he doesn't want to pay child support? Because I KNOW this man and have known him for 14 yrs. ALL HE CARES ABOUT is money. When we have talked about the potential for him to buy me out of the house it all depends on "how much I have to shell out for child support" (his words) and when I told him he should be paying me the minimum child support based on our income difference now- he said no.

And - no- he has never been a really hands on Dad with his TIME. He travelled for work for the last 7 years. I begged him to be home more to help with the kids and because I could see it was AFFECTING the kids. I am the person who took every sick day off work to be with them when they were sick. I took them to most appointments. I organized all birthday parties. I arranged all extra curriculars. And I did this because he COULDN'T. So why would I assume NOW that he CAN?
In the past, if he ever had to pick the kids up and couldn't- he shuffled it off to his mother.

His mother and step father are alcoholics who are often drunk by 430. I never wanted my kids around them alone BEFORE now and I certainly don't now. The step father favours my younger child and makes my older child feel like shit. He is also a red-neck throwing out f bombs all over the place in front of the kids and using the "n" word in front of them.

I would be pissed if I found that my stbxww was routinely leaving my kids with her relatives during her week when I am more than willing and able to keep them. I would track this behavior and take her ass right back to court to change the %, not because of the money but because I would love to have my kids more than 50% of the time. If she can't change her schedule or life to make them a priority then I will.

EXACTLY! I didn't cheat and I don't want to have to give my kids up for ANY time! I have been with them since day 1. He hasn't. THey are used to him being away all the time- not used to me being "away" from them AT ALL! He has never made them a higher priority than work.

Plus- kids need to be with their PARENTS during this confusing time...Yes I would call on my Mom if I really needed her- but I feel it's fair to call on my stbx first.

I also know other people who hire babysitters and nannies. They still got 50/50.

Well I can tell you that won't be happening with me! Infact- it's ridiculous. Who would want their kids with strangers vs their own parent? I built my career (as a teacher) around being as much of a hands-on mom as I could and I do not intend on giving that up because it's what is in the best interest of MY OWN KIDS.


"But stand still is all I did
Love like ours is never fixed
Still I stuck around
I did behave
I saved you every time
I was a fool for love
I was a fool for love"

Posts: 294 | Registered: Jan 2014
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 12:02 PM, April 23rd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm finally seeing a glimmer of anger in your words. This is a good thing. Your anger is healthy. It is what's going to protect you & give you clarity of vision and purpose.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9254 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
homewrecked2011
♀ Member
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 7:57 PM, April 23rd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I found that my stbxww was routinely leaving my kids with her relatives during her week when I am more than willing and able to keep them. I would track this behavior and take her ass right back to court to change the %, not because of the money but because I would love to have my kids more than 50% of the time. If she can't change her schedule or life to make them a priority then I will.

Track the behavior. You are in stealth mode.

If it's any consoluation, in a few months, you'll be like the rest of us where the non custodial parent blows off the kids. When this happens, EVEN IF I HAVE PLANS, I say, "Cool, lets do something today". The bottom line is I want (and I know you do, too) the kids as much as possible so that they are not exposed to too much over at Dads.


me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed

Posts: 1960 | Registered: Jan 2012
Topic Posts: 23
Pages: 1 · 2

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