Thank you all again, I cant tell you what your responses mean to me.
In thinking on this today a thought occurred to me. Just popped into my head as i thought of something he said yesterday.
Of course, as much as i tried to not even acknowledge he was here, we did end up discussing/argueing this latest revelation.
When I accused him of not being honest with me when i had been telling him i needed this from the beginning, he said "I wasnt then, but I am being honest with you now".
It wasnt until today when I was thinking more clearly of what we had said the night before that I realized he was being honest.
The subject came up as something random we had been talking about which led to such an awkward moment between us that i knew I had stumbled on something. That in itself was very weird, I hadnt experienced it before. Anyway, the awkwardness led me to ask of the length of his affair and he admitted what he did.
He could have lied again, I would never have known, but he chose to tell the truth. At this point in the game, he had nothing to gain by telling the truth and actually risked much by doing so.
In thinking this, I'm more confused. Yes, I shouldnt have had to wait so long for this and it still makes me angry, but I cant negate the fact that he did do the right thing by being honest.
It was unwayward behavior on his part. Huh! Isnt that something?
Does anyone think I'm making excuses for him or is there a valid point in my ramblings?
Myself, I'm thinking I'm not excusing cause I'm still ticked it took so long. in a sense, I understand why waywards tt. self preservation, the desire to not let the bs know how bad the ws's were. I even believe that for those ws's who are remorseful, they do want to avoid inflicting yet more pain. In the case here, my guess is he tt'd for all those reasons.
as for mocking me being here, he can go shit in a hat, I'm staying
Honestly, for the long road this journey is, I'm very thankful to have you all for support. After this much time, ppl get so tired of hearing about your problems and there is noone irl to bounce these things off of.
I look forward to your input on my thoughts as always.