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Newest Member: Hurtlostempty (45065)

Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: resentment towards WW's AP's BW
StillGoing
♂ Member
Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 9:48 PM, April 28th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Actually, Stillgoing, I don't think anyone told him he didn't have a right to be upset.

Posts I may have misunderstood:

The BW did all this over a year ago in the crazy, wtf, chaos, and anger phase after DDay. Why are you still bothered by her reaction? You charge her with misplaced anger, but what about you? Your resentment towards her seems like pot calling kettle here.

Im sorry you were caught in the crossfire of the BW's pain and anger. But your WW brought all of this upon herself..and you.

Don't blame her for her reaction, she was thrown into a meat grinder by your WW & her WH.

I'm probably not going to say anything that all the other poster's haven't said before, but your post really upset me.

Because, I would think that you as BH would understand completely the PAIN that BOTH your wife and her Husband, put us through.

In my case, the last thing I was thinking about in such a period of HELL, was how I was possibly hurting the other BH. Oh Yes, I contact the OW many times, I told her all kinds of horrible things, and I don't feel bad about it for one second. OW knew exactly what she was getting into and the possible consequences (not knowing how horrible I was going to react, if I was going to be violent, or whatever)- So your WW brought this onto YOUR LIFE.

There were various comments throughout the thread that pointed him towards similar sentiments. You are correct and I stated wrongly that everyone is telling him something; more hyperbole from me and I should reign it in, I apologize.

While you make an excellent point about standards, I don't think that simply because we have different standards immediately makes it unrealistic to expect people to abide by them. Standards are a means by which we view the world and make judgement calls.


_______

You are very angry on this thread and thank you for swearing at me. The swearing at me is uncalled for and is mean and mean-spirited. It's as if you are mad at someone and taking it out on us/me here.

I meant that it's very American to immediately think "someone sent me a nastygram in the mail, I'll sue". There's no tort here. There's nothing to sue for. It's a petty way to retaliate, because threatening to sue is nothing but retaliation when nothing but your feelings are hurt it makes you no better than the person who is acting out against you. And if there's a criminal act, then *if* the police will arrest, you can tell AG you want to press charges, but if it's not a case to them, you'll be SOL.

I'm really sorry you are so upset. But none of us on this thread caused whatever is making you so angry. (And I've noticed you are angry in a lot of your posts on SI and for that I'm sorry too). This thread is a discussion about BS behaviors, which aren't always stellar, but if you claim you are a BS and can't understand where the less than stellar behavior comes from, you're being disingenuous.

I use the words "Fuck" and "Shit" with fair regularity; while I make an effort to edit myself in most cases, I generally assume I am among adults. That you may be offended by such language is not an issue for me because I was not employing it at you, I was employing it as my standard colorful vernacular. In short, I didn't mean to offend you, but I'm really not overly concerned if you are.

Further, I find it reflects on your character directly to paint the American culture with that brush, firing off that particular assumption without even pausing to consider why I might do that. I'm not sure what country you hail from but in the United States the courts deal with any number of civil and criminal issues that don't have anything to do with frivolous lawsuits, which may include but are not limited to stalking, harassment and threats. I could just say fuck it, storm your house, beat your husband half to death in front of you and your children but I'd prefer a civilized approach and deal directly with the authorities when available.

I understand perfectly well where the behavior comes from. As for my anger, maybe you are right, but I have a great deal of skepticism with regards to your professed sympathies for that in the wake of several direct insults.

I think I'm sidetracking way too much at this point and will back out now, but if anyone feels the need to help me figure out my displacement issues or culturally attuned need to file lawsuits over petty issues feel free to PM me.


“Fate is a fickle bitch who dotes on irony.”

Posts: 7451 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
nuance
♂ Member
Member # 28793
Default  Posted: 10:28 PM, April 28th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm saying the BS should own responsibility for their behaviors and should have some modicum of sympathy for the other people involved, at the very least after the fact. It's not some arcane formula.

Agree.

Still, as you said the moment of discover is chaotic. Ethics goes out the window as soon as you start spying on your SO. I don't regret anything I did.

Anyway, I always wanted to wish a painful death to my FWW's AP but he has a son. He wouldn't deserve this. So I guess I got that going for me.

But don't expect any sympathy from me for the APs.


Dday May 2000. R'ed.
People suck.

Posts: 1209 | Registered: Jun 2010 | From: California
cayc
♀ Member
Member # 21964
Default  Posted: 6:41 AM, April 29th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I find it reflects on your character

Goodness SG. Thank you again for the attack. My opinion differs from you so that indicates I have substandard character in your eyes. Or maybe it's just that you don't like being called out for bullying me and trying to shut me down by swearing at me.

I'm as American as you are. And Americans resort to lawsuits way too quickly. And lawsuits over someone being mean to you is ridiculous. What damages are there to collect? Money is going to soothe your hurt feelings??? That's what you were suggesting, that's your opinion I was disagreeing with. And I'm stating my opinion, it's a ridiculous course of action to take, it's typically American to think like that. And it's especially ridiculous when your own WS was the catalyst for the whole thing.


"The difference between involvement and commitment is like ham and eggs. The chicken is involved, the pig is committed." -Martina Navratilova
"The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 3106 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Mexico
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