Now go celebrate with your lawyer, her former lawyer and your kids.
Post pics of the tv and recliner when you get them.
Welcome to your new beginning AD, free from the crazy train wreck.
How are you doing?
How are you doing?
Thank you--today, not so well, actually. Constant conversations in my head with XW, retreading old ground. I guess I'm reacting to the finality of it all. Indifference is going to take a long long time.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
(BTW, I wasn't being an asshole; I just couldn't take the kids on those days--but I am through feeling I have to explain myself.)
While i wholeheartly agree with this statement, might I suggest a change in wording when you are not able to accept the first right of refussal from her. Simply:
"I am unable to exercise my first first right of refusal for this day and time."
just saying "No thank you" really does come off as more of a refusal then an actual 'I would love to but can't accept it."
Then, crickets to every question of "Why not, what are you doing, how come". I realize that the statement will open the door for her to ask, but the statement is not a question, it is a complete sentance without a question mark. You don't have to explain yourself but at the same time, you need to protect yourself from any future issues she may bring you to court for (ie, refusing to see the kids)
Constant conversations in my head with XW, retreading old ground. I guess I'm reacting to the finality of it all. Indifference is going to take a long long time.
I know it will hurt for a while, I think that is normal. Actually it is probably a positive sign of who you are. If you did not hurt you would not be human.
I had a moment yesterday, actually an anxiety attack while driving. I got a sudden flash in my head of who stbxwh used to be and the pain was so intense, it stayed with me all night.
This morning I woke up to a few email from "him". Apparently he was "missing" me too. "you are a slut", "whore", in this crazy, twisted world it made me feel better. I sat there and remembered, "oh yeah, that is who you really are. You I do not miss. I do not miss the real you".
Her craziness will help you to detach. The more you are exposed to "normal" the more you will be able to not hurt for her.
Big hugs to you and congratulations.
I would now like to be known as Can!
dday October 21,2012
dday December 20, 2013
attempted R, it was all a lie
Your CXW threw all that away because she is too sick, messed up, self involved to even see the gifts you gave her.
Be happy that now the only time you have to deal with her is about the kids. Everything else can go away. You will come to a level of acceptance of all of this, an dknow hat you did have a good M for some years, but then she threw it away, don't let that taint your memories of the things you enjoyed. Accept it for what it was, and move on.
The serenity prayer may be your mantra for a bit longer, as you learn to finally accept the outcomes of her actions.
ps do something really nice for you.