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Newest Member: lynnde (44729)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Moving this way
deena04
♀ Member
Member # 41741
Default  Posted: 12:58 PM, April 22nd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am fed up and filing. I am not even upset about it, but relieved. What is that??? Been leaning this way more and more lately, but now I just know I want it. Have any of you felt that strongly and ended up changing your mind. Called the attorney to file. I am keeping it from the kids until after my daughter graduates in a few weeks.


Me BS mid-late 30s
Him WS knocking on 40 (lovemywife4ever)
blended family with lots of kiddos
together 5 years, married 8/13
D day 12/1/13
WH ONS had been 4/12
Getting ME back and moving to HAPPY - whatever that means
I want out!

Posts: 900 | Registered: Dec 2013
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 1:03 PM, April 22nd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

When you're done, you're done. Sending you strength, especially for the next few weeks with all you have going on. ((((deena))))


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25059 | Registered: Aug 2011
GabyBaby
♀ Member
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 1:10 PM, April 22nd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I agree with NIK.
When I was done, I was done.
Like you, I wasn't even upset at that point. I calmly told XWH that I wanted out and that he needed to find somewhere else to live.

I think my tone and matter-of-fact expression told HIM I was done too. He looked scared for a change (instead of smug).


Me - 40s
SorryInSac - WH#2 - 40s. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4, together 7yrs total
Status - R looks possible..

DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
6 Furkids

WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW)
Legally married 18yrs, together 16.5yrs

I edit often for clarity.


Posts: 6369 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California
Merlin
♂ Member
Member # 30221
Default  Posted: 1:12 PM, April 22nd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You made the decision. You took action.

Now it's process.

Congratulations!


"I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A bird will fall frozen dead from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself." D. H. Lawrence

Her: WW/57 Me: BS/63 24yrs M
3 great kids, now 22, 20, 17 b,b,g
D-Day 8/14/08, D 1/13/11


Posts: 1164 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: East Coast
justinpaintoday
♂ Member
Member # 42858
Default  Posted: 1:23 PM, April 22nd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I filed because Ww wouldnt follow healthy boundries. Once you file ur M is less emotion andmore business transaction


I never realized you could be in this much pain and not be dying.

Posts: 700 | Registered: Mar 2014
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 2:23 PM, April 22nd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Having my "That's it, I'm done" moment was a relief. I never wavered after that, never changed my mind, never had a doubt.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9536 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
MadeOfScars
♂ Member
Member # 42231
Default  Posted: 4:09 PM, April 22nd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I thought my D was going to finalize last Thursday only to be derailed by paperwork snafu that my lawyer, in all her years in family law, had never seen happen. That snafu would postpone my D finalization another 10 days. My reaction to getting this news was very telling to me - I was angry and frustrated for it NOT being over, and not in any way "relieved."

A buddy of mine's wife said something after learning of this that, in her mind, was meant to be encouraging, misguided as it was. She said "maybe it being postponed is a sign that you and her aren't supposed to go through with this." It took every ounce of my being to not tell her how ridiculous that was. Those words have also not crept into my mind to build a nest of false hope of a last-minute plea for R from my stbxww. Many such nests have occupied my head earlier in this journey, but they are no longer welcome.

As has been stated, when you're done, you're done.

((deena04))


“You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.”

Posts: 974 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Texas
one2ndchance
♀ Member
Member # 14759
Default  Posted: 7:29 PM, April 22nd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Have any of you felt that strongly and ended up changing your mind.

I kicked him out and filed for D the first time he cheated because he wouldn't stop seeing the ow. I wanted R but only if he dumped her and fully committed. He did what I asked. I stopped the divorce and he became the perfect FWH in every respect.

Ten years later, he's out looking again. You bet I felt "strongly." There was no second guessing, no hesitation, no doubt....I was done and am unequivocally certain I will NOT change my mind.


Me: BW 59
Him: STBXWH 61
Married: 25 years
DDay1: 2/2002; DDay2: 6/2012
Gave him his second chance and he blew it.
Divorcing

Posts: 479 | Registered: May 2007 | From: California
Topic Posts: 8

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