What's good about the above is that you recognize your own needs. Focus more on you and what makes you tick and what makes you happy... If she has narcissistic tendencies, don't feed her ego, don't be her victim.
What makes you happy, Steve55? Who and what gives you pleasure?
I think the big problem has been that a 180 is not possible because we work together in the same office suite every day and I can't change that without changing jobs. If I could have done a 180, I know I would have been a lot farther along in healing.
I was her victim for a long time, probably, first as friends and then when it became more. When it became more, she still wasn't completely honest with me. I put her on a pedestal and ignored the fact she didn't seem as commited to me as I to her. I certainly fed her ego back then, as did the OM, I am sure. She loves attention like that.
I am pretty sure this A was going on while we were dating. Just a lot of betrayal here, but then all of you have experienced that, most even more than me.
I'd say, I really like my job. I love working with students and faculty. If it wasn't for my situation with my ex... I know that's a little like saying, "Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?" :), but really I like my job. The key would be to do it somewhere else.
Other than that, I've love golf and reading. I've found golf really takes my mind off of this.
Thanks again for writing.