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Newest Member: EmptyLightRN (44321)

Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: first run in with OW since Dday
reallysad2012
♀ Member
Member # 37658
Default  Posted: 2:15 PM, April 23rd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Okay. I was expecting this to happen. I had planned to act like I knew nothing because OW does not know that I know about the A. I decided keeping it that way would be best.

I pulled it off. Acted like nothing was out of place. Didn't even hate her. I did get a rush of adrenaline which made my hands shake a little bit but I had time to compose myself before we had to talk.

After, I was fine. It was so weird. I had thought I might crumple and cry when I got home, but I didn't. Some part of me thinks I have not really dealt with the fact that I was nice and polite to the woman who had sex with my husband.

Of course, I told H about it as soon as I got home and he was more upset than me. Because he had put me in that spot. But I felt better and better as the night went on because I had met her and talked to her and I didn't give anything away. It felt a little empowering, if that makes sense.

I am still not sure my mind has really dealt with it as well as I think I have. So far so good, though.


me BS
him WH
his A was in 2001, DDay confession 9/5/2012

Posts: 99 | Registered: Nov 2012
sisoon
♂ Member
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 2:22 PM, April 23rd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I was in that position once. I take heart and great satisfaction in the fact that I didn't reveal anything to her. Knowledge is power, and since she lacks knowledge of what /Iyou know, I think our ows are at a disadvantage, at least theoretically.


fBH (me) - 65+, fWW (her) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/2010
Recovered, not yet fully R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.

Posts: 9773 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
LosferWords
♂ Guide
Member # 30369
Default  Posted: 7:09 PM, April 23rd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think you handled yourself exceptionally well. Really good job on keeping your composure, not giving away info, and ultimately taking the high road.


"I would rather take a punch than not give you a shot. I'd rather find out who you are than who you're not."

Posts: 6265 | Registered: Dec 2010
Topic Posts: 3

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