Of course he has to go NC with her. She helped destroy your relationship.
As for his "loss?"
Welcome to SI.
..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.
Honey, Im sorry but I think he is still in the affair, He gave passwords, then changed them. He supposedly sent a NC email, but you have no idea because he deleted it. He refuses to talk about it and he is angry and unremorseful.
Please read the 180. You don't deserve this abuse.
Also, if she is still married, you need to call her husband and tell him. Offer any evidence you have. Don't tell your husband that you're calling her BH, just do it. He will warm OW if you tell him first. This is the single best thing you can do right now...expose this shit.
[This message edited by confused615 at 8:03 AM, April 24th (Thursday)]
Of COURSE he's angry with you! You pulled reality right into his rainbow-fart world!
Please read The Healing Library which is located in the upper left corner in the yellow box. Read all posts on the first few pages of this forum that have red "targets" next to them. Schedule an appointment with your doctor and have a full STD/HIV panel of tests done. And don't touch him nor let him touch you until he's done the same and the doctor's office has given you the results. In all honesty, I would suggest detaching and seeing a lawyer to find out what your rights were, should you decide that his betrayal is far too much for you to stomach.
But know that you don't have to make one decision right now, except to nurture yourself and take care of only you. Please come back often for support. We're all here for you. (((hugs)))
D-Day, June 10, 2012