I love LOVE love this thread. So much gold here.
I love it. The remorseless Wayward Hall of Fame has a new member: SMIF. Absolutely fabulous moniker, abbreviated or not! He and Stretch must be alphabetically neighbors in the yearbook if ever there were one.
Can I please point out that you start with F#$k and end with full on FUCK NO!!!
And you did not run off the road. You did not waver. You found the empowering bitch boots and attitude!!!
PS. I sooooooo get the "can't wait to tell SI" feeling. That still happens to me. On all kinds of things. SI is my bff.