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Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Good then bad days
aero1122
♀ Member
Member # 41575
Default  Posted: 6:54 PM, April 24th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have had a good few days. Been busy with work and the kids and the house. WH has been very helpful and even made me laugh. Then today I just woke up feeling horrible. Thinking about everything!
Triggering everywhere I looked.

This roller coaster is so exhausting. I just want to be happy again. The bad days I feel like I am a bad mom because I dont want to do anything.

Just sux


Me-35
WH-36
Together 18 years
Married 7 years
2 kids
D-day 12-7-13
Both currently in counseling
Trying to R

I am a warrior!
I will survive and thrive!


Posts: 100 | Registered: Dec 2013
hopefull77
♀ Member
Member # 43221
Default  Posted: 8:03 PM, April 24th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have just joined this site today but have lurked for over a year...I feel your pain!!!! I told my husband just a few days ago I wouldn't wish this pain on my worst enemy...and he is doing everything right!! ( well almos t) he has held me during the horrible meltdowns... he has endured my rants... as he should...the reality in my opinion is this....this is now part of our life/marriage...at almost 18 months this is my biggest struggle...but I do not want this to be who we are...the beauty of this site is the ability to reach out to others and console...this is how I will heal...read the prayer of st.Francis...it is about peace...
I wish you peace...


me-BS
him-WS
3 adult children 1D 2S
married-1977
LTA 09-2010 - 11-2012
D-day - 11-11-2012
status - reconciling and very hopeful
"Let Go of Control; Let God's Life Flow" ...Richard Rohr



Posts: 475 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: sunny california
aero1122
♀ Member
Member # 41575
Default  Posted: 9:12 PM, April 24th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you hopefull. I will find that prayer. I could use some peace.


Me-35
WH-36
Together 18 years
Married 7 years
2 kids
D-day 12-7-13
Both currently in counseling
Trying to R

I am a warrior!
I will survive and thrive!


Posts: 100 | Registered: Dec 2013
kate0421
♀ Member
Member # 40819
Default  Posted: 8:13 AM, April 25th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just made a post about this. I had an amazing 2 days and them boom it was followed by horrible sad days. Depressed and obsessive. Just sucks
(((Hugs)))


ME: BS
HIM: WS
Together over 9yrs
2 children
DDAY 9/23/2013- 2 ONS (2009-2010)
TT. 5/14/2014- slept with OW1 twice

Posts: 272 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Tampa Bay Florida
Mumof3
♀ Member
Member # 42555
Default  Posted: 11:48 AM, April 25th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know it's just rubbish isn't it! 7 months since my d day.. Yesterday I felt happy! Today I was triggering loads and felt terrified! It's still so up and down but I do notice that the happy days are really good and they have just started recently so I'm looking forward to more of them! Hang in there!!! x


Me - BS (38)
Him - WS (40)

D day 9/9/2013

DD (still born 2007) DS - 5 & DS - 3

Trying to Reconcile


Posts: 52 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: UK
aero1122
♀ Member
Member # 41575
Default  Posted: 6:39 AM, April 26th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It does suck! So bad.

But hopefully the good days get better and the bad days start to get easier.


Me-35
WH-36
Together 18 years
Married 7 years
2 kids
D-day 12-7-13
Both currently in counseling
Trying to R

I am a warrior!
I will survive and thrive!


Posts: 100 | Registered: Dec 2013
RidingHealingRd
♀ Member
Member # 33867
Default  Posted: 1:12 PM, April 26th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I wish I took notice of when this good day/bad day diminished for me. I do know that it lasted for over a year, and that was with a deeply remorseful WH.

Today the good day/bad day is non-existent. This is not to say that I do not think about the A each day (horrible, I know) but thankfully, it is almost always a fleeting thought.

I am so very thankful to have those days behind me. I truly understand the depth of that struggle.

Wishing you GOOD days.


ME: 54 BS
HIM: 61 WH
Married: 28 years
D'Day: 10/29/10
in R 3.5 years and it's working but he is putting 200% into it (as he should) to make it right again.

The truth hurts, but I have never seen it cause the pain that lies do.


Posts: 2109 | Registered: Nov 2011
browneyesbelieve
♀ New Member
Member # 41469
Default  Posted: 3:29 PM, April 28th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm going through the same thing. WH has done just about everything right, but I can't seem to shake it.

The best revenge is a happy life....so, how do we all get there?


Posts: 10 | Registered: Nov 2013
kansas1968
♀ Member
Member # 32214
Default  Posted: 3:42 PM, April 28th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It just takes time. I know that is hard to hear because the pain and exaustion are so terrible that you don't think you can make it one more day, let alone years. But it truly is the only way. Try to accept the good days and enjoy them but also accept that there will be many bad days ahead. Just try and get through them.

Sounds like your husband is trying. It always helped me to talk to my WH when I was hurting. Sometimes ended in a fight, but we usually made up and I would have a few "good" days.

Now, three and a half years out, I rarely have a bad day. It does get better.


Me - BS
Him - FWS
DD - December 14, 2010
Married 43 years 1/14/2011
Affair lasted 7+ years
Affair had been over for 2 years before I found out. OW sent me a letter.

Posts: 1304 | Registered: May 2011 | From: Kansas
2married2quit
♂ Member
Member # 36555
Default  Posted: 4:00 PM, April 28th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We had a really good weekend together and then Sunday night I totally trigged. I feel like I'm the one holding up progress and sabotaging my own marriage. But it was really her that did it, I'm just reacting. huh!


BS - Me 43 WS - Her 41
DDAY - June 2012 (found the texts)
DDAY2 - Next Day (found out who) EA
TT- till 9/2012 (some PA)
Married 20yrs. 2kids
Status: in careful R. Sometimes spinning our wheels

Posts: 1311 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: USA
Topic Posts: 10

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