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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Mini victory - I can handle my shit without you
nekorb
♀ Member
Member # 40306
Default  Posted: 10:22 PM, April 27th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Mini-victory today.

As you all know, in-house S still happening. Ugh.

Anyway, I headed out to do some work in the yard and my mower wouldn't cooperate. WH wasn't home. I woke my son up to see if he could help. No luck. Got out the manual, DS looked up videos on you tube. We tried a few things. Decided we needed a part from the hardware store. I considered crying. I felt like crying. I refused to do it.

WH pulled in briefly to say he was going to store xyz, but did I need him to stay and help? Nope. You go on to the store.

He left.

I went to hardware store. Brought home new part. Installed part. No response from equipment. I'm like, wtf? Tears threatened again - how can a lawn mower make you feel completely alone? I decide to call my dad, because, you know, he can fix *everything*.

So, dad and I discuss the situation, get a game plan going on, decide we need some starter fluid, I'm checking for air intake.

WH rolls on up and parks, grabs starter fluid from cabinet and sprays it on intake as I relay instructions from dad. I pull the starter, mower bursts to life. I say, "Thanks dad!". Hang up. WH asks if I want help. Do I need him to do anything?

Nope.

Me and my purring mower walk away.

I only cried a little bit in the car on the way home from the hardware store.

I can handle my shit without you.

I am going to be ok.


Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 aka CAT- colossal asshat; Married 22 years
D-day: July 17, 2013, with TT to follow
D filed July 16, 2014, 363 days later than I should have
Psalms 27:14
Wait for The Lord; be strong and take heart. Wait for the Lord.

Posts: 1838 | Registered: Aug 2013
Dreamboat
♀ Member
Member # 10506
Default  Posted: 10:35 PM, April 27th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((HUGS)))

I am so PROUD of you!!!

I have to admit that my mower did make me cry. X left me with a defective mower that would stall every 5 minutes. I tried and tried to fix it and had no clue how to. Finally my brother came to visit and said I needed new spark plug and to clean in air intake something-or-other. It was enough to get me thru the summer.

I also cried several times why trying to fix a toilet that ran 24/7. 5 or 6 trips to the hardware store and still the fucker was not right. I gave up and 6 months later called a plumber who just replaced the whole damn thing. Fail

But a week ago I was able to replace my leaky kitchen faucet!! It took a few trips to the hardware store and lots of research online, but I finally did it! I felt like I could conquer the world!!!!

Sometimes it is the little things that we did not think we could do and yet we do them anyway


And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off
-- Shake It Out, Florence And The Machine

Posts: 17630 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: A better place :)
PurpleRose
♀ Member
Member # 33129
Default  Posted: 10:38 PM, April 27th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yeay for you! How awesome, you did it!

Feels great, eh?


divorced the Dooosh
*****************************
even if you find your voice,
sometimes it does not matter anymore,
when you speak to a man who is deaf by choice.
~dodinsky

Posts: 3582 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Happyville
Chrysalis123
♀ Member
Member # 27148
Default  Posted: 11:00 PM, April 27th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I can handle my shit without you.

I am going to be ok.

Recovery in action!


Donít get to the end of your life and find that you lived only the length of it; live the width of it as well.†

Posts: 2670 | Registered: Jan 2010
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 11:16 PM, April 27th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

See you're not as incompetent as he made you feel!!!!

I was left with the lawnmower that he hated,it was over 20 years old, and the edger that hated women operators! I sold the edger in a yard sale to a neighbor - it started right up for him! I ended up buying a newer mower and weed whacker thing that you change from edger to weed whacker to pole saw and other things. I love them!!!!

It is always empowering when I defeat his demon by doing things his voice said I couldn't. Even if his voice is inside my head- I like telling it to shut up and showing it up by proving it wrong! Even if it's only in my head!


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5067 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
JT4588
♀ Member
Member # 42971
Default  Posted: 11:42 PM, April 27th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

CONGRATULATIONS!!! Yes, you CAN handle things without him!! I am so proud of you. I am proud of anyone that at least tries to do things they normally haven't had to deal with!! You rocked that lawnmower issue - be proud of yourself!!!

Posts: 71 | Registered: Apr 2014
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 12:17 AM, April 28th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((nekorb)))) Well done, you.


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25305 | Registered: Aug 2011
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 12:22 AM, April 28th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9658 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
dmari
♀ Member
Member # 37215
Default  Posted: 1:37 AM, April 28th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Here I am ~ a grown ass woman and I want to fist bump you and give you a hug! You are so awesome!!


Me (BS): 42 Children: DD 19, DS 15
Settled at mediation
Officially divorced ... SOON!

Posts: 2193 | Registered: Oct 2012
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 4:04 AM, April 28th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Feels amazing, doesn't it? Love this.


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5556 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
Bluebird26
♀ Member
Member # 36445
Default  Posted: 5:03 AM, April 28th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Completing a 'man job' makes you feel great. You got this!


"Loving someone should not mean losing you. Love empowers you. It shouldn't erase you. - Thelma Davis.

Posts: 1331 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Australia
Topic Posts: 11

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