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Newest Member: tryingtolove (44683)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Honestly Would you if you could?
Gr8Lady
♀ Member
Member # 36307
Default  Posted: 9:41 AM, April 30th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I understand the frustration this causes you, along with anger.
It is normal to feel this way, and certainly justifiable.

Visitation should not be with held because of non payment.
The decision to do so can be misinterpreted by your children now and down the road.

I would say respectful boundaries should never be compromised. Your child has the right to see the father.
With the description you have given, your EX will seal his own fate all by himself. He won't need you to block visits, he will stop all by himself.
It appears from what you describe, your EX wants to exercise
His rights for visitation, probably to "look good to others, or feel better" about himself. It is about him.

What will happen is YOU will remain the solid parent the children can count on and trust.
When your children are older, they will form their own
conclusions.

Trust me, set respectful boundaries for visits always emphazing the focus of children....won't be many visits.
There will be excuses.
Lived through this years ago myself.
My adult son respects me, has no contact with his father.


BS: Me (63yo)
FWH: HIM (65yo) serial infidelities over past 35 years
OW: Many, most recent 1/2 his age
DD: Multiple unconfirmed until 2012 when I presented evidence, plus LTA with his friends wife lasting 10 years. TT over past year
So done,

Posts: 607 | Registered: Jul 2012
lilacs40
♀ Member
Member # 31314
Default  Posted: 1:57 PM, April 30th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My parents were divorced when I was young and my father didn't want to be bothered with us. Didn't see us much maybe twice a year or so and my mom had to fight to get him to pay child support. With that being said, my mom never once denied him when he was interested and didn't say one bad thing (until we were older ad could understand) about him.

I think she was the strongest person I know. You know your situation best but I wouldn't hinder that. As others have said, it could come back to haunt you. Because my mom encouraged as much as she was able and my dad has made amends I am able to have a relationship with him.

For your kids, it's worth it.


I wish I could just stop I know another moment will break my heart too many tears too many time too many years I've cried over you

Posts: 292 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: IL
Topic Posts: 22
Pages: 1 · 2

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