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New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Job is Sucking the Life Out of Me...
JenniMay
♀ Member
Member # 24595
Default  Posted: 12:52 PM, April 28th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

For the last 6 years, I've been in a job I detest. Recently, it's gotten worse.

I am in the type of job that no matter what I do, how late I stay, how early I come in, how many original projects and solutions I come up with, how many days I go without a bathroom break or a lunch break, how many sacrifices I make, it will never be enough. EVER!

There is a person in my company with whom I have a "dotted line" reporting structure who takes credit for my original ideas, calls me out in large groups/meetings, and continually antagonizes me.

There is real discrimination going on here too---because I don't have a spouse and/or children, I should be available for last minute, late evening meetings. I work with executives who are demanding, entitled and self-serving. It's sickening. I hear and see too much.

On top of this, my assistant is crazy. I know that's mean to say, but she worries about EVERYTHING and has every sickness, complication, adverse reaction to medication you could possibly imagine. So do all the members of her family, so she's constantly worrying about them too. It's ALWAYS something with her...ALWAYS.

I have years of education, certifications, and experience in this field. The money is too good. Having this job saved my ass when I was getting divorced because money was something I didn't have to worry about.

...but I am miserable. I can never do anything good enough and it's starting to really wear me down. I can just feel myself retreating into myself, alienating myself, circling the drain.

Meh.

[This message edited by JenniMay at 12:58 PM, April 28th (Monday)]


Betrayed after 13 years of marriage.
DDay & Separated - June 2009
Divorced - March 2010


Posts: 665 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: On the Coast in Virginia
Crescita
♀ Member
Member # 32616
Default  Posted: 1:02 PM, April 28th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If the money is good, start saving, and start looking for a new job. It doesn't sound like it will be getting any better any time soon.

Posts: 3327 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: The Valley of the Sun
Skan
♀ Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 7:17 PM, April 29th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Divorce the job. I'm serious. Start getting your ducks in a row, figure out what the bare minimum is that you need to survive each month, and look for an opportunity to bail out. You didn't go through the hell of your divorce to be miserable in your new life!


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4693 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
JenniMay
♀ Member
Member # 24595
Default  Posted: 1:16 PM, May 1st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Crescita and Skan,

You are both so right...this week, I started working on the "bare minimum" project & have already made a few changes. They're small changes, but it's a start. I've been so "stuck" the past few years.

I feel like I've closed myself into a box & am having a hard time determining how to market my "transferable skills". There is a position I know I am qualified for in a town an hour from here. It would be close to my mom, but it's the same field---& I fear it would be more of the same.

I am having a really hard time. I have never felt so frustrated & beat down...& it stinks that I have to turn around everyday & subject myself to more of the same...

Skan, I love it---"divorce the job"...


Betrayed after 13 years of marriage.
DDay & Separated - June 2009
Divorced - March 2010


Posts: 665 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: On the Coast in Virginia
Amazonia
♀ Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 7:13 PM, May 1st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sounds like your company more than the work frustrates you... Look up the potential new company on Glass Door and see what there is to see. And it doesn't hurt to apply, interview, get a feel for the people. You don't have to accept an offer if you realize it won't be any better.


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13658 | Registered: Jul 2011
JenniMay
♀ Member
Member # 24595
Default  Posted: 9:51 AM, May 19th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks, Amazonia. Never heard of Glass Door. Will check it out.


Betrayed after 13 years of marriage.
DDay & Separated - June 2009
Divorced - March 2010


Posts: 665 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: On the Coast in Virginia
7yrsflushed
♂ Member
Member # 32258
Default  Posted: 3:12 PM, May 19th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

JenniMay, I feel you. I have different issues but I am in the same boat. I have been at my job for 18 years now. I pretty much killed any upward mobility when I got married because stbxww refused to move. Of course the M turned out to be a disaster and because I have 50/50 joint legal and physical custody I can't move within my company. I was pretty bummed and had made peace with my fate until I saw your post and Skan's comment.

Divorce the job.

^^^this sentence is simple yet amazing!

Now I am off to plan my diabolical exit strategy from the rat race using the "on the fly D" tactics that saved my ass last year.


D-day 5/24/11
BH = Me
2 children
The first true sense of calm I felt in YEARS was when I filed for D...
D hopefully official any day now, off to check the mail again.

Posts: 1884 | Registered: May 2011 | From: VA
Topic Posts: 7

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