Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: conflictedcolleg (44943)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: How to tell the kids about separation/divorce
Acer0112
♀ Member
Member # 43241
Default  Posted: 2:25 PM, April 28th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We are having a family counseling session this week because the kids were confused after WH's vague description of our trial separation moving to formal separation and probably D. I had WH do last talk since I thought we agreed to say, divorce possible, and that daddy was dating.

Well, those two things were not mentioned. WH still claims he's not dating, and doesn't want to mention affair, and I guess is having a hard time admitting D is probably where we are headed. I do not want to be the messenger anymore since this is not my choice.

Our family counselor suggested to say dating, be as up front with details as age appropriate because if they hear wind of the A they will feel betrayed and more angry than dealing with the honesty and anger now. Kids are 11, 13.

So how do parents tell the kids more details? I also would like to say its daddy's choice to not continue the marriage, I just want them to know the truth, I am here to consider R, I'm not giving up, but when one person isn't willing to try, or claims he has tried for 20 years , it's not possible. I know we should be a united front, but it's not what I want or feel.


D-Day 1/24/14
D-Day2 04/08/14, false R
16yrs married, 22 yrs together
Separated, divorcing

Posts: 191 | Registered: Apr 2014
EvenKeel
♀ Member
Member # 24210
Default  Posted: 2:57 PM, April 28th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

and I guess is having a hard time admitting D is probably where we are headed.

Probably more like he doesn't want to look bad and wimped out.


I do not want to be the messenger anymore since this is not my choice.

I understand, but your WH did not step up to what you thought you agreed too. I would not count on him to handle this.

Our family counselor suggested to say dating

I can understand their confusion...dating while married is confusing no matter what age. That is a interesting suggesion for the counselor.

I would try to answer their questions as truthful as possible without throwing anyone under the bus. You are dealing with older children who have probably figured out more than you are aware.

[This message edited by EvenKeel at 2:59 PM, April 28th (Monday)]


Eyes are useless if the mind is blind.


Posts: 2100 | Registered: May 2009 | From: Pa
one2ndchance
♀ Member
Member # 14759
Default  Posted: 8:45 PM, April 28th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I also would like to say its daddy's choice to not continue the marriage, I just want them to know the truth, I am here to consider R, I'm not giving up, but when one person isn't willing to try, or claims he has tried for 20 years , it's not possible. I know we should be a united front, but it's not what I want or feel.

A united front on discipline and direction only regarding the children. You obviously are not a united front on moral values. He thinks it's ok to date while legally married and you don't.

Your children are old enough to understand what is going on and there is NO WAY to not put the onus on him.

The truth is always the best. I told my daughter that her father wanted to date other women while he was married to me, and I would not tolerate it so I am filing for divorce.

No other details are necessary. They should be reassured that they are loved and every effort will be made to disrupt their lives as little as possible.

Please understand that your actions are showing your daughter how to respond if her husband ever cheats on her.


Me: BW 59
Him: STBXWH 61
Married: 25 years
DDay1: 2/2002; DDay2: 6/2012
Gave him his second chance and he blew it.
Divorcing

Posts: 479 | Registered: May 2007 | From: California
Topic Posts: 3

Return to Forum: Divorce/Separation Post Reply to this Topic
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.