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Newest Member: LionessRoar (44598)

Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: HB ?
LdyD
♀ Member
Member # 42870
Default  Posted: 5:44 PM, April 28th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just curious as to how long did your HB last (if you experienced this)? Yesterday was 10 weeks since D-day and I'm starting to wonder if I'm truly losing interest or if it's because of my allergies/chronic cough causing it. I'm not sure right now. My WH is still in overdrive! Wanting it 2-3 times (sometimes more) a day! We've only skipped less than 5 days total in 10 weeks. I've really been enjoying this, but also worried about how I will feel about our R and M after the HB is over. Does it really have to end?!

[This message edited by LdyD at 5:44 PM, April 28th (Monday)]


Me - BW: 43
Him - WH: 41
D-Day: 2/16/14
Married 11 1/2 years, Together 15 years
2 Daughters ages 10, 13
In MC since 3 days after D-day.
Attempting R with a seemingly remorseful WH

Posts: 106 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: Virginia
sunvalley
♀ Member
Member # 42952
Default  Posted: 7:00 PM, April 28th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Mine ended around 5-7m after DD however I was in PTSD and really not dealing with my emotions at all until then. I don't think the HB ending was a bad thing for me, but I do think it had to end in my case. I needed to address my emotions to heal. We still very much enjoy each other, but it's more true connection now that we've addressed things better and we have had some struggles along the way around the same time I started really realizing that HE did this and the implications behind that. I'm still working on acceptance of all of this, but it has gotten easier and while the HB is gone we are certainly connecting better than we were around the 6-8m point.

Posts: 414 | Registered: Mar 2014
hpv50
♀ Member
Member # 39703
Default  Posted: 7:37 PM, April 28th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think the once-daily HB lasted close to two months for us, then a steady-state of 2-3 times weekly since. I consider the "since" to be post-HB, although the quality is still great and the frequency way higher than at most any point in our marriage. Our love life is very relaxed now, too. I'm liking this.


Me: BS - 50; Him: WH - 51, vulnerable NPD
married 19 years, maybe 20th soon?
DD1 4/22/13 (hpv diagnosis)
DD2 5/9/13 (gaslighting begins)
DD3 6/30/13 (admits EA)
DD4 7/7/13 admits "trying to date other women" for 3 years

Posts: 129 | Registered: Jun 2013
iwillNOT
♀ Member
Member # 40605
Default  Posted: 11:11 PM, April 28th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It lost momentum right about 4 months after Dday...I was sad to see it go! However, the quality and intimacy of our sex life has remained much improved - the frequency is more real-life , and we're both ok with that.


Me: BS, 43
Him: WH, 44
Together 21 years
Married 14 years
Kiddos 2,6,8,10
Dday#1 2004, 3 years after EA/PA co-worker MOW
Dday#2 8-6-13, 13 months EA/9months PA with co-worker MOW - caught not confessed
Rugsweep now, pay later. Ask me how I know.

Posts: 486 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Midwest
RightTrack
♀ Member
Member # 36976
Default  Posted: 12:40 AM, April 29th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We're at the two year mark. He cited "lack of sex" as one of his reasons for having his affair and I let him know that HAD HE COME HOME at night he could have had 7x week. I don't know if the current situation is really HB (which I did experience just after DDAy/felt like my body was betraying me!) or just better communication combined with his actually coming home.

Posts: 616 | Registered: Sep 2012
KatieG
♀ Member
Member # 41222
Default  Posted: 6:11 AM, April 29th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just ended now - around 6 months.
I am relieved, even though it was good while it lasted, I think it puts some of the emotional stuff on hold and now that's coming out. But its a relief now that we can go deeper and feel closer to each other.


DD#1 - 6th Oct 13 - TT
DD#2 - 9th Nov 13 - Full disclosure
DD#3 - 12th May 14 - FOG lifted and in R
7 week A, 2 weeks together, rest phone and email - PA and EA

Posts: 414 | Registered: Nov 2013
LdyD
♀ Member
Member # 42870
Default  Posted: 6:59 AM, April 29th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you everyone for your replies. My uncontrollable desire to have sex stopped about 4 weeks after D-Day. I'm trying to figure out if we're still in HB or not. The strange thing is that I have always had a very high sex drive (much higher than WH's) but now his has kicked in full gear (I created a monster) lol but no complaints here!

I've heard a few of you mention the emotions being put on hold during that time. Although I agree with that to a point of my pain lessened some...short term during sex, (In no way was it love making then!). My emotions were still running rampant. The emotions have finally calmed down some this week, with a few triggers still.


Me - BW: 43
Him - WH: 41
D-Day: 2/16/14
Married 11 1/2 years, Together 15 years
2 Daughters ages 10, 13
In MC since 3 days after D-day.
Attempting R with a seemingly remorseful WH

Posts: 106 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: Virginia
Topic Posts: 7

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